cornucopian dad

4 Years Ago Today

2012-01-30T01:17:00.000-05:00

This blog was started 4 years ago today. Why? Well, with the intent to chronicle this dad's journey into fatherhood. Like many things, when re-visiting the past, we encounter embarrassing things, etc

Reading back the tone, the grammar mistakes of Babydaddy's 1st couple of post are embarrassing and interesting. Nonetheless, 4 years ago it all started here, take a look at how far we've grown.

Why Would You Be On Call?!?

"Why Are You On the Computer?"

I turned around one evening, and found Babygirl having literally

crawled out of her bed to sneak up on Babydaddy

Babydaddy is still living the dream of becoming a prolific blogger,

and a dad with a bounty of knowledge.

Yeah for Dads!

2012-01-23T20:56:00.000-05:00

Babydaddy has noticed a lot of stuff out there on stay at home dads, and articles about dad's being more that just the bread winner in a family. Perhaps it has to do with the economy, perhaps society is growing and stretching the idea of parenting.

So here's a couple of links.

Depressed Father's Put Their Children at Risk of course when mommy or daddy is not doing well, it typically means it's not good for the children as well, but there was some new and interesting stuff in this article.

Fathermuckers this is proposed new name for dad's that stay at home with kid(s), as well as the title of a new book coming out soon. What name/term do/would you prefer?

Developing Mad Skills, yo!

2012-01-12T11:33:00.000-05:00

Fatherhood presents many challenges, but also many opportunities to learn.

Here's some of Babydaddy's growing skill set(in no particular order):
-making up creative names for foods(daddy cheesy bread, not to be mistaken with "cheesy bread" or Texas Toast, red worm pasta, etc.)
-aspirating boogies from noses(if only this was a marketable skill or a skill that could be monetized, the kids would be paying cash for college)
-holding a child and doing a chore or simply going to the bathroom
-finding that inanimate object that's going to entertain for the next 5 mins
-clipping nails or as Babymama likes to call it "dad-icures"
-doing things over and over and not getting sick of it(listening or singing the same songs, or reading books)
-foraging(not plated) for snacks that the kids left behind for Babydaddy

what skills have you developed or working on?

Home is NOT Where the Heart Is!

2012-01-02T20:50:00.000-05:00

Yes you read that right, Babydaddy is going all 90's angsty grundge on ya!

Babymama had asked Babydaddy if he was looking fwd to the annual holiday trip back to our childhood homes to visit with family, and he replied yes and no. He knew it would be different with 2 active kids this year, and having to supervise and plan for activities would hardly be the vacation that they used to take. Prior to kids it used to be about staying out late, sleeping in, and eating good ol' fashion mama's cooking.

Holiday trip 2011 was epic, not because the kids were one again spoiled rotten in love and attention only grandparents (six total!) can give or gifts made in China. 10 days away from our home resulted in 10 nights of interrupted/disturbed sleep.

Interrupted/disturbed sleep can look like any of the following:
-nearly 4y/o Babygirl who always end up btwn Babymama and Babydaddy during the middle of the night
-Babygirl may sleep sideways, upside down, kick covers off, or may slap or kick one's face.
-Babygirl also may bring in any one of her stuffed animals, which only adds to the crowded bed effect
-Babyboy simply may just decide to wake up every 2-3hrs, which will inevitably lead to him in btwn Babymama and Babydaddy in the same bed.
-Babyboy may roll, twist, and turn in bed as well, which is a surprise and safety concern.
-Babyboy and Babygirl ending up in the same queen size bed at Babymama and Babydaddy, leading to Babydaddy having to sleep all contorted, or Babymama seeking respite on the living room couch.
-Babyboy and Babygirl would also end up falling asleep many hours beyond their typical bedtime at home.

All these disruptions and interruptions would lead to feeling exhausted come morning time, it would also lead to totally whacked out dreams loosely based on current events and reality. Naturally it leads to diminished immune system, and leads to getting sick. Such as the both kids getting the sniffles and runny noses, and Babymama fighting a mild cold, which naturally Babydaddy catches at the tail end of the trip.

So that old Americana saying "Home is Where the Heart is" is totally false. I would like to officially change that saying to, Home is Where One's Own Bed is Located. Whatever your bed may be, there's nothing quite like returning home and resting your head on your very own pillow and bed.

Hoping that 2012 is full of sleeping in your own bed!

Just Go Big

2011-12-13T01:18:00.000-05:00

Dad's or dad's to be if you're ever in the market to buy a new bed, and are looking to upgrade from the full, just go crazy, skip ahead, pass Go and collect $200!, skip the queen, and just go king or California king.

Never would have thought that Babydaddy would be complaining about how small a queen size bed feels, but throw in an infant and a toddler, and you'll wish you were sleeping on a park bench which is wider than that amount of mattress you'll get when you're sharing the queen with 3 other bodies.

Kids don't sleep properly, they like to sleep perpendicular(or upside down) to the bed, like to spread out the little limbs, like to kick off covers/blankets, and notorious for waking up early and not falling back asleep.

In the past week, Babydaddy woke up with babyboy using his hip as a pillow, mind you Babydaddy thought it was Babygirl the whole time. Another time this week both to the surprise of Babymama and Babydaddy, Babygirl had Houdini-ed her way right in the middle of them, without anyone waking. Just tonight, went into bed to find the bed occupied by Babygirl and Babymama, right smack in the middle of the bed, leaving Babydaddy just a sliver of mattress to occupy tonight.

The options are(can you tell I'm in the midst of creating a final exam)
a) sleep on couch
b) sleep in Babygirl's bed(which would be like sleeping in minefield of stuffed animals, toys, etc.)
c) find a park bench to sleep on
d) sleep with half of my family, knowing that by an ungodly AM hour, Babyboy will have to join us due to not being able to go back to sleep. Gotta love family time.

I'll be California (king bed) dreamin' tonight!

Photocredit:1800mattressblog.com

What time is it again?!?

Playful Parenting

2011-11-29T21:24:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy time of the year over, with both babymama and babydaddy being all professorial and teaching college kids, so here's a copy and paste of a blog post from my other blog.

wwww.johnleemsw.com

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the holiday season. So glad babygirl and babyboy are not of they age where they ask for specific things for Christmas.

How familiar is this scene in your household: Child watching TV, playing video games, on the computer, talking on the phone, etc., and you're wanting their attention to alert them to something like, "time for dinner," "pick up your clothes," etc.

Often times the child is fully engaged in their activity of choice and don't/can't hear a parent's call. Logic says if a child can't hear us, we should just speak louder or yell. Eventually a child breaks their focus to the yelling of a parent who may or may not be fuming at this point. The child may be very confused why mom or dad is "buggin' out," and may also react to this negative tone by yelling back or being disrespectful.

Recently, I've had much success with a more playful interaction. Instead of getting frustrated with what seems to be like I'm talking to no one(Bueller. . .Bueller. . .Bueller?) or yelling at a small child, I would use a silly, deep, playful voice(think of nicer version of the man behind the curtain from Wizard of Oz). In this playful voice, I would just have to say the name of my child once, and there would be a response full of giggles and a "who is that(with eye contact)."

Most parents aspire to be loving parents, and most are, there's certainly a time for limit setting and authority, but there's certainly room for play as well within parenting. How many parents enjoyed the playful moments with their infants and toddlers, was this a result of the parenting book du jour that encouraged play, or was it something organic and natural?

Children were born to play, its their natural way of interacting with others, manage their feelings, and make sense of the world. Somewhere after toddler-hood the idea and use of play goes out the window by adults. What would it be like if there could still be moments of imaginative play, or creative play, or silliness between parents and children?

Sometimes our adult logic doesn't translate well with children, but play rarely needs to be translated for children. It's this combination of playfulness, love, and logic that often amounts to positive interactions between parents and children. Relax and play along with your kids!

Photo Credit: home-school-coach

Nostalgia or Hipster?

2011-10-12T00:30:00.000-04:00

No one truly claims to be hipsters in this family, yet the family all has some hipness to it. Like have you ever see babyboy move, there's literally a lot of one sided hip action. Babygirl has always been on the cutting edge of putting an outfit together, these days she's seems to be married to her pink converse, and has finally taken to wearing socks. Babymama is the hip dressed prof at the college, so hip that she may be the only one in rural TN sporting cowl neck sweaters that get mistaken for a backwards hoody.

There are things that as parents that Babymama and Babydaddy do for unknown motivations such as Babymama has been slowly amassing old school Little People playhouse and house accessories from ebay for the past 2 years for the kids. She also introduced Follow that Bird to Babygirl, that Sesame Street movie was made in the 80's. She also got Babygirl interested in the Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake cartoons, and also sports s new but retro looking Rainbow Bright T-shirt. Babygirl has been known to watch Yogi Bear since we don't have cable (Babydaddy was given a box set of Yogi Bear Hana Barbara cartoons way back when). Babygirl's has seen more hours out of Snagglepuss and Yakee Doodle than Babydaddy has during his whole childhood. To the point he's scared she'll let a "heavens to megatroid", or "exit stage left" slip at school.

How many other parents like to recite a little Billy Madison when washing their child's hair. Babydaddy has been telling Babygirl that conditioner leaves her hair "silky and smooth." He wonders at what age she'll realize that was not just fact but also a quote from a character Adam Sandler played. Perhaps all kids will reach an age where they will have watched Billy Madison on youtube or something, and all have this eureka moment.

Both Babygirl and Babyboy are into the Letter People an educational video back in the day to help kids learn about letters(google it, it's pretty entertaining). Babyboy has also been known to sport vintage Cleveland Indian paraphernalia as well.

Are we hipsters just re-living our childhood through our children? Or is our stuff from our childhood infinitely better than what's available today. Are the moral lessons of GI Joe really on par with the moral lessons from Veggie Tales? While the new Transformers movies are ok, the original Transformer Movie with the banging soundtrack was even better.

Remember the days when the Nintendo wouldn't work, you would pop out the cartridge and blow on it. To this day Babymama does this with anything that does not work. Lo and behold Babygirl does this as well. At what point in college will she encounter other friends that do the same and discover that this was a phenomenon to solving technological problems in the mid 1980's?

This daddy ain't sure where all the retro 80's stuff is coming from, perhaps it has to do with our perceptions of what is safe, and well the 80's were safe according to our small world view than it is today in 2011. Will irreparable damage be caused by such exposures? Only time will tell.

Go Play Ball!

2011-10-02T23:06:00.000-04:00

For the past month babydaddy got to play softball on a weekly basis, sometimes playing more than once a week. Ya see, babydady got asked to play on babymama's colleague's faculty softball team, that primarily plays against other student in the university's intramural league.

Babydaddy having never played organized baseball, softball or T-Ball in his life, this was going to be comical at best. Nuances of the game from a defensive positioning and strategy, etc. Many times I was just focused on two things, make contact with stick and ball, and run as fast as possible to the next base. In the field well, after couple of games in right field, it was clear I was better off being the catcher, which I didn't mind.

It's been humbling and fun for babydaddy to play a sport that he knows he's not good at. It's also good that it was competitive, but at the same time due to babydaddy's own skill level, he couldn't take the game so seriously.

Sometimes when opportunities present itself to us dad's, we have to take it. Even if it may be a humbling experience or something that's embarrassing. The need to get out, to have fun outside of family makes for good life balance, and if anything it's a great story to share with the kids. At the end of the day, they don't care if you won or lost, but just knowing that you're a "softball player" or that you have other roles than just official swing pusher, and lunch maker gives children other ways to identify/interact with their dads.

Say What?

2011-09-27T21:21:00.000-04:00

Things that Babygirl has learned at school and mentioned off the cuff:

"crybaby" as in her baby bro is a "crybaby"

the act of choking- she put both hands around her neck and showed me that's how you choke i can only guess someone in her class is guilty of choking a sibling and not preparing for a suicide club

various old school church songs that I grew up singing, guess she's now learning them at school

the complete story of creation, the beginnings of Cain and Abel, and the tower of Babel

"girls don't play pirates" as in this is what only the boys play at recess

"this is boring" used in context, but not convinced she knows what it really means, same for "deal"

knows the middle names for most of her class, and learns Spanish songs, but refuses to say any Korean words

awkwardly shy and silent, or totally and open book and singing songs for strangers

The whole instilling independence form the Montessori program is great, but hearing "leave me alone, I'm going to do it myself" sucks. Hearing, "I'm going to go outside, ok?" but its not really a question cuz she's already out the door swinging on her swings.

Since babygirl's teacher is totally on a pedestal, I hear myself saying "what would Ms. S say if you did this at school?" How many more months/years do I have before I lose all influence over my child?

Things I Just Figured Out

2011-09-20T13:56:00.000-04:00

3.5 years after the birth of babygirl, and 1.5 years after the birth of babyboy, I continue to learn new things about parenting, and raising a child- more specifically a girl. Despite being a women's studies minor in college, and having good foundation of feminist theories and thoughts, as well as reading some parenting books/blogs, I learned something new recently.

Not even babymama cared to teach me this or go over the fine art of washing hair. As a guy, and a guy who's shaved his head many times, it's relatively easy to wash my own hairs. Basically, get arbitrary amount of shampoo in your palm and slap it on the top of your head and lather. This works when you have a short hair. When you're a gal or a guy with shoulder length hair this does not work.

Babygirl would complain that I was pulling her hair and causing her pain while washing her hair or conditioning her hair. It then it all made sense, if I placed the shampoo or conditioner more towards the end of her hairs, then it wouldn't take so much effort to lather her hair vs trying to get shampoo from the top of her head down to the roots.

I realize this isn't worthy of MacArthur Foundation Grant, and perhaps it's a no-brainer, but I like to imagine that some other dads out there have also not gotten the tutorial to washing their babygirl's hair painfree. Can I get a witness?

2 little monkeys swinging in a tree

Transitions+Longings

2011-09-07T10:33:00.000-04:00

Moving to a different region of the country with no known friends or contacts can be challenging. Certainly if it wasn't for the family, the feeling of loneliness/isolation may be more pronounced, but spending time with children as well as babymama has lessened those feelings. Being a part time stay at home babydaddy also further causes me to feel isolated in some ways, which is something I can share with all the babymamas out there holding down the fort.

Transitioning to a new place in this day in age is probably very different than in the past, the fact that I still keep up with "local" news of my former home towns, as well as keep up with various interests all via the web, it's almost like I never moved.

Despite staying current and relevant in my professional field, pop culture, sports, politics, weather, etc., I have a longing for relationships, which is the struggle for every parent or stay at home parent, but knowing that I won't see the friends we left behind is now wearing on me. It's one thing to vicariously follow their lives via blog, msg boards, social media, etc., but those are all good forms of keeping in touch when you know you will see them in the immediate future, it's totally different when txt msgs and emails are the only means of sustaining friendships with no face to face contact. I miss interacting with wifey's neighborhood mama friends who would just stop by or I would see at playgrounds, the get togethers with my friends and their new families, as well as hanging out with friends without kids.

Forming and sustaining local relationships around children is simply going to be a long and slower process, like all things in the South.

In the meantime I have my family, and I have to recognize and appreciate what I got.

Land of Developments

2011-08-11T00:30:00.001-04:00

It's been exactly 4 weeks since we've been in our new home in TN, and there's so much catching up to do. Obviously there have been many new developments and milestones as well, so here we go, let's play catch up.

Babyboy:
He is obviously helmet-less, in case you didn't know, he had to wear a helmet for a couple of months. Not because he kept falling and hitting his head, not because he was trying out for pop warner, but because he had a mis-shaped head. So similarly like a retainer, the helmet helped mold/shape his skull(as you may or may not know, a baby's skull is not fully fused and quite malleable).

Currently he's 14months, has many teeth, and likes to eat about anything. He's also in the phase of exploring the idea of whether he really wants to stand or take his 1st steps. Really he just likes to scoot, he never crawled, but he can move pretty quickly. If you can imagine how one rides a scooter or skateboard by pushing off with one leg, well that's what he does, while picking up his butt of the ground, so it's kind of quick lunge type of motion. It's quite funny to see if you've never seen a kid do such a thing(how advanced, huh? who needs to crawl or walk).

Like any boy, he's into trucks, and planes. We don't live in the direct path of the airport anymore, so we don't hear or see the airplanes, but weekly our lawn gets mowed by a riding lawn mower which he thinks is pretty cool. As for communicating, well he's good at pointing with his index finger, making sounds, and definitely says some sort of "mama" and "dada." He definitely tries to talk, definitely likes to sing, and definitely understands more than 20 words.

Babygirl:

Where to begin? First of all, it turns out in very age appropriate intellect, babygirl thinks that "Boston" is the name of her previous home, and "Tennessee" is the name of her new home. So it's always interesting when she tells new people that she used to live in "Boston" and now lives in "Tennessee," of course naturally like good southern folks, they also disclose that they too live in Tennessee. Which then leads to babygirl asking if they will come over and play princess, dress up, or have a sleep over.

Yes, the whole princess thing still continues, she's moved on from tiaras, and now has a collection of magic wands. She also continues to enjoy dressing up like ballerinas, faeries, etc. With growing up, comes the growing up of attitudes and sass, so that hasn't been too fun, but babymama and I are tempering well as possible.

Along the psychological developments, babygirl is definitely interested in weddings and the idea of having a husband. It may have all started months ago when she was intent on wanting to be a flower girl, then good friends of ours tapped her to be their flower girl in the fall, which of course led to many conversations that so and so were getting married. Naturally that led to "daddy, I'm married to you" not a question, but a statement. Telling her no, that this was not so, was like breaking up with a 3y/o. She was disappointed in the news that we were not married, and that I was married to babymama. This went on for a bit, and then she started announcing that her husband had died, and most recently she has announced that she is married to "Pooh Bear," and has a sister in law, "Anissa" who is married to a "John." Babydaddy hopes that penis envy is something she'll just skip over.

As you can see, her imagination has not diminished at all. Babygirl has an interest in reading, and letter sounds these days, as well as playing games on the computer. As you can see from the picture above, babygirl went to her 1st day of Montessori pre-school. Babymama and I are not all, lets be cool and get our kid into Montessori, but more importantly we know that babygirl can be quite the independent firecracker, who probably wouldn't fall in line in a regular classroom setting, so we thought this was a good move for her to get used to the whole school idea in an independent discovery mode way of learning, as well as for her to continue there for kindergarten if it was a successful year.

Babymama:

Babymama is big time these days, here's what the outside of her office reads, or do a little fill in the blank to get the full picture. After years of going to grad school while pregnant, going to classes after giving birth, and adjunct teaching while pregnant and being a mom to 2 babies, she's officially a full time prof at a university, with the options to stay, pursue her doctorate, etc. Babymama is fully into the #1 breadwinner role in the family, and doing the juggle of figuring out full time mom roles and full time prof roles. She got babygirl into a competitive new montessori program, has secured 2 nannies to work on 2 different days to watch babyboy during the week, fingers crossed got tenants to move into our condo back in the Dot, and has remained married(6 years) to a babydaddy who's currently unemployed and spends most days in mesh shorts and wife beaters. Who's better than babymama? I know I wouldn't want a different mama for my babies, nor would babydaddy want anyone else to be his wife.

Babydaddy:

Babydaddy is not one for change, he likes things to stay consistent, predictable, and the same(I sound pretty boring). So the move to TN was big, giving up 3 jobs, giving up city/bike commuting life to country rural life. If it wasn't for Babymama giving the family the opportunity to move, Babydaddy would have worked himself to premature death. So the respite of not working has been a big change, but can one truly rest when there's a family and kids? So despite not working, there's been many things that keeping him up at nights and pounding the coffee in the mornings. More importantly like everyone else in the family babydaddy is also developing and growing. Specifically developing into an adjunct faculty role of teaching for the 1st time, as well as having to teach on a subject matter that he's never taken as a student. Babydaddy will also be pursuing to be a small business owner. He's actively working on establishing a psychotherapy practice for children and adolescents. So definitely many new developments.

the whole family:

This is what our front door looks like. Some things are different, but somethings have stayed the same. For instance, we never use this front door, just like we never did at our old place. Our guests rarely used the front door at our old place, and it's unlikely guests will use our new front door. We moved from a 1300sq ft 2 level 3bdrm 2 bath condo with driveway and patio, on a corner lot on a busy street in a diverse neighborhood in the city. We moved into a 1700sq ft single level 2bdrm 1 bath ranch home with a 1 car garage, a long long driveway, on a main rural 2 lane road with 3 acres of land in the country. We currently have diversity of animals and nature.

We're all adjusting to the humidity and heat, but all enjoying the cool weather of 80 degree weather this week(never thought I would say that). We have yet to meet other biracial kids or inter-racial marriages, we maybe the only family of 4 with 1 car in the area, and miss having curbside recycling bin.

The other adjustments are the conveniences of the city, but all in all 20mins of driving in traffic in the city, or 20mins of driving in no traffic to get to any destination here is much better. We get better avg gas mileage on the car, but have to drive more miles than we used to, so it all averages out somewhere. 9.5% sales tax on everything, including clothes, which the great commonwealth did not have, but in TN there's no personal income tax, so that probably works out better than in taxachussets. Also here in TN the family has gone without cable tv, so that's rather new, and working out well. Babygirl has gotten comfortable watching shows online, or has gotten into watching Planet Earth series or Yogi Bear on dvd, as well as mix of dvd's from the library.

We're all developing in different ways and different speeds, but we're all in it together supporting one another most of the time and laughing and knowing as T.I says "we don't get down like ya'll" but we trying hard.

Ya'll stay tuned for some mo, ya hear!?!

Ellen and other things

2011-06-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

Currently half the family- Babyboy and Babymama are out of town, leaving Babygirl and Babydaddy at home. Its been said that Babymama used to watch Ellen Degeneres Show in the AM's when Babygirl was just an infant/toddler. I've been told like many woman out there, they would all dance together with the Ellen.

Babymama's Ellen watching days have been over since she's been back to work, baby wrangling 2 kids, and simply trying to find time to take showers in the AM. How surprised was Babydaddy when we turned on the TV, and there was Ellen or as babygirl correctly identified her as "Elwen"

The mind of the kids are definitely fascinating, each and everyday Babygirl is learning how to correctly use new idioms, phrases, and applying knowledge from one particular situation and demonstrating understanding by applying it to different situations. Babyboy is on the cusp of verbalizing English words, and he's fully aware that he's not a newborn anymore, but desires to be like one at times.

Babydaddy hopes that after the move, he will become a more prolific blogger :P

Photo Credit: PalZoo

Happy Belated B-day!

2011-06-05T09:47:00.000-04:00

It's true, baby boy had his 1st bday, and this daddy has yet to publicly acknowledge the momentous occasion on his dying blog.

As we prepare to leave the 617 after living here for 10 yrs, life is just crazy, but with unemployment looming for this babydaddy as he ventures into entrepreneurship, there will probably be lots of time to blog about the slower pace of family life down in the 423.

When she's 18

2011-04-21T21:10:00.000-04:00

Babydaddy can only hope that in 15yrs Babygirl would write a post like this about him and not like this.

Hope everyone has a great wknd!

Many Firsts

2011-04-17T17:44:00.000-04:00

Today, Babymama and Babygirl went off to Sesame Street Live(first show/concert), while Babyboy and Babydaddy went for their first run together.

The whole family enjoyed their very own brand new car together this past week.

In a month Babyboy will enjoy his 1st birthday!

In the past month Babygirl has mastered how to use the mousepad on the laptops, and learn how to pause the TV when she has to go to the potty.

In 2 months the whole family will move for the 1st time below the Mason Dixon line.

In 2 months Babydaddy will go from having 3 employers to becoming an entrepreneur/small business owner.

In 4 months Babymama will return to FT work for 1st time in 3.5 years. She will be a FT college prof for the 1st time.

Technically every day is a new day full of new experiences, but sometimes one can lose sight of that when juggling family, work, home, life, etc.

Babyboy's 1st see saw ride
(sadly not the 1st time a child of mine has worn OSU paraphernalia)

not Babygirl's 1st ice cream cake

How to Get a Ride

2011-04-05T00:29:00.000-04:00

Babygirl is no different than any other kid, loves to get a free ride, whether it's being held in someone's arms, piggyback ride, or riding on top of someone's shoulders.

Here are the many ways babydaddy is asked for a ride:

"Can I get a piggyback ride?"

"Dragon(that's babydaddy, see previous post) can I have a ride?"

"Can I pretend to be your backpack?" <----babydaddy's fav, and babygirl's newest way of manipulating her daddy into giving her a ride.

insight?

2011-03-30T23:19:00.000-04:00

babygirl told me that her "baby" was sad. babydaddy asked why she was sad, like the good child therapist, and babygirl responds "she misses her daddy because he drove away." Why? "because he had to go to work."

OUCH!

how could babydaddy not feel any guilt about that one, or babygirl has already mastered the art of manipulation.

babydaddy was very conscious about the number of times hugs and "i love you were" were handed out this evening.

fun things

2011-03-29T22:25:00.000-04:00

babygirl obsessed with "bookies and crusties." Boogies like nose boogies, but there can also be crusties beneath the nose too. Crusties tend to be anything that's nasty like lint btwn her toes, floaters in her bathtub, etc.

babyboy likes to clap, as well as likes to take my hands in his hands so that my hands are clapping.

babygirl has "names" or "character names for the family. For instance, she likes to watch the Fresh Beat Band, she's Kiki, babymama is Maria, Babyboy is Shout, and babydaddy is Twist, or she's Mini, babymama is Daisy, babyboy is Donald, and babydaddy is Goofy, etc. As you can see this goes on for almost any show she watches like the Care Bears, Sesame Street, Wonder Pets, or the Backyardigans. The crazy things is that her assignment of "names" is consistent and gets mad when we don't follow or play along.

babyboy likes to move around by kicking one leg out and scooting himself around on his but, thanks goodness we have hardwood floors.

babygirl only wears dresses, tutu's, skirts, and tights. She refuses to wear pants, and will change outfits at least x3/day.

babyboy continues to just be chill and likes to hang out under tables.

All in all, everyone is happy and healthy!

Better Than a Couple Hundred Words

2010-11-28T20:03:00.000-05:00


Best Buds


Silly Face

1st Climb

Loves Hangin' Around

Playing House

Yes, 6 Months last week

Regression?

Babydaddy sucks!

2010-11-10T09:52:00.000-05:00

cornucopian dad/babydaddy has been ridiculously busy to find time to blog about the babygirl or babyboy. no promises when regular posts will be posted.

we're all well, and making it each and every day.

You Got Bubbles?

2010-09-05T17:04:00.000-04:00

Babygirl and Babydaddy shared a public family restroom at Target today. Babygirl did her business, and so did Babydaddy.

As Babygirl was looking at end result of the process, she asked "Daddy you got bubbles in your tinkle?" Babydaddy replied, "yup." She quickly responds, "that's so silly."

How does a dad a dad respond to that? It was a funny moment.

Babygirl as previously mentioned, likes to describe her poops. Today Babygirl said that her poop was a "caterpillar with one arm." Sometimes she likes to even tells Babymama and Babydaddy after she's done taking care of business, "I think my poop is moving. See! it's moving." Not sure if she thinks this is funny to her parents, or scares them, or simply thinks that each poop is alive.

Babygirl also likes to compliments toilets that flush by themselves, "good job, it flushed all by itself."

Can't even imagine what her bro, Babyboy is going to be like potty training and what not.

How is everyone else spending their Labor Day Weekend?

18 Months Long!

2010-09-02T13:03:00.000-04:00

Babydaddy, has had very short stints with Babygirl, or Babyboy, or both at the same time. It has either been for a couple of hours-maybe even a full 8 hrs, a series of days for a couple of hours, and a wknd here or there.

Babydaddy can not fathom what a 18month long paternity leave would be like. As the author talked about the cultural changes in Sweeden as other dad's take long leaves to take care of their children, he also questions the social constructions of dudehood or masculinity. Babydaddy can only assume that if he was the lone dad with the long paternity leave he would begin to feel self conscious around other men. At the same time, babydaddy knows it would be one of the best usage of time to be with his own children, as well one of the most tiring of times.

As Babymama likes to point out, even though Babydaddy may be working a lot, the work in the office is so different than the physical nature, the emotional rollercoaster of full time parenting work at home.

Babydaddy salutes all the mom's who do so much each and everyday with very little acknowledgment of all the daily battles they won.

babyboy sleeping(photo taken in mid Aug)

babygirl giving someone the stink eye or totally enchanted?(photo taken in mid aug)

Things I Hope My Kids Will Not Do(in the future)

2010-08-25T12:00:00.000-04:00

1. Write a book about growing up with their whacked out therapist dad or quote me like this guy to the whole world

2. Backlash from the kids about being bi-racial

3. Have a sense of entitlement

4. Waste resources

5. Hate each other beyond normal sibling rivalries/relationships

Pain cont. . .

2010-08-24T13:23:00.000-04:00

Babydaddy had previously written about the pain that he endures at night from Babygirl.

Lately the antics have continued to get Babygirl to brush her teeth. Often times Babydaddy has had to "call" our one of our family's many dentist friends re: the conflict we were having at home, and how "Doctor Jeff" would be disappointed to hear that Babygirl isn't brushing her teeth, or something to that effect.

During a moment of genius, Babygirl was asked if she wanted to brush her teeth upside down, which of course she said yes(Dad's when all else fails, anything upside is sure to be a winner. Like going to bed upside down. Haven't tried eating veggies upside down, but I'm sure it's possible, astronauts do it right?). Babygirl's joy for upside down teeth brushing was short lived, but it's still one of the many options that get offered.

Sometime we just have to sing the brush your teeth song from daycare to get her to brush. Sometimes Babygirl wants to be collaborative and asks that Babydaddy and her both hold the handle and brush her teeth together. Sometime they just agree to independently brush their own teeth at the same time.

Yesterday, Babygirl got a new Dora toothbrush, which has turned into a novelty item in the house. At least oral hygiene is on her mind, but it hasn't made that much of a difference.

Hangin' out poolside!

Generation X Dad?

2010-08-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

Babydaddy falls into the category of not really being a true Generation X-er, but definitely missed that cut off. Is he a child of the 80's or 90's. Of course more of his formative years were a part of the 90's, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the appreciation of all things 80's, especially from '85 and beyond.

This article, Gen-X Parents "R" Us, is a comprehensive look at how marketers/ad companies have targeted the Gen X parents. Some of it was definitely things Babydaddy could related to, and yes he thinks it's fairly normal that each generation tries to compensate for things that were unfulfilled or wrong that their parents did. Of course the tendency is for the next generation to act in the extreme opposite of their own childhood, which creates it's own multi-generational issues. So what do parents do?

Babydaddy believe in this informed society we live in and where we can analyze and document the changes of times, it's important to find the balance btwn the past and present. Does babydaddy wish he had a Jordans while growing up, definitely. Does that mean babyboy needs his Jordans for preschool? NO. Babydaddy had a mix of handy me downs, and very few "cool" clothes, does that mean that every outfit that Babygirl wears needs to come from HM kids? NO. As the article states, many in our generation have added simple luxuries into our lives that we believe are non-negotiables, such as premium organic coffee, furniture from Crate and Barrel, Coach purse, Ed Hardy t-shirts, smartphones w/data plans, etc., and the hope is that as parents various innocuous luxury items will be a part of the child rearing life. Such as child and parent will always resort back to Nickelodeon as the goto channel for entertainment, or New Balance will be the default shoe of choice due to comfort, Sesame characters, or your child will be a member of Red Sox Nation.

Babydaddy and Babymama are equally guilty of our fair share of luxury items, basic cable w/HD+ DVR, granite counter tops, etc. At the same time Babydaddy feels that btwn Babymama and him, they can find the balance where Babygirl and Babyboy aren't totally enslaved to Madison Ave and corporate branding, and overly indulging in capitalism.

Have any parents noticed various consumer traps they've fallen into. Has anyone decided to buy a Toyota Sienna cuz the hipster parents on the commercials make it look acceptable?

one of Babydaddy's fav images/toys of the 80's

Chuck T-eezies!

2010-07-28T11:13:00.000-04:00

Babydaddy definitely bought 4 pairs of Converse all stars (hi-tops) before Babygirl was even born, and before Babydaddy knew that the baby was going to be a boy a girl.

Babydaddy bought 2 pairs in turquoise and 2 pairs in black, all in different sizes(they were on sale). Babygirl looked bad ass in the black, and just looked cute in turquoise.

Although hi-tops and laces are impractical for toddlers, Babymama and Babydaddy have a love for the classic Converse All Stars, and own several pairs.

How excited was Babydaddy to see these Dr. Seuss themed Converse? Babydaddy was always aware that you could design your own but have yet to take the financial plunge in designing his own or Babyboy or Babygirl's uniquely designed canvas shoes.

Come fall Babygirl will fit right into her 3rd pair of converse, and by next summer Babyboy will be fitting into his 1st hand-me-down pair of shoes from BigSister. On a side note, Babydaddy has been jonesing for a new pair of All Stars, any thoughts on what color he should get next?

Pain in the. . .

2010-07-21T21:34:00.003-04:00

Not sure when Babydaddy valued the idea of negotiating as a skill that people should have. It comes up frequently at work btwn a child and parent(s), and somewhere Babydaddy decided that Babygirl should also learn the values of negotiating effectively.

In the midst of trying to get Babygirl to practice regular nightly oral hygiene, Babydaddy had the clever proposition of, "You can brush my teeth, if I can brush your teeth." Since then brushing teeth at night has been pretty successful.

Babygirl gets all of her teeth brushed while swallowing minty flouride, and each night Babydaddy gets to endure a 2.5 year old jabbing the back of his mouth and cheeks with a toothbrush. Despite the pain and screams of "oww," Babygirl thinks it's hilarious.

Despite the pains in Babydady's mouth, teeth are getting brushed, and just like all negotiations, one has to give a little to get a little.

1 year ago, Babygirl was able to be talked into standing on Babydaddy's hand, not so much these day. It was a fun trick while it lasted. Still negotiating the terms of bringing the trick back out this summer.

Stall Tactics

2010-07-08T14:34:00.002-04:00

Since Babygirl has become a big sister, the good sleeper she is disappeared. Also add that Babymama and Babydaddy made her say goodbye to her binkie, that has also disrupted our good sleeper.

Here are the most common ways Babygirl will try to prolong sleepytime.

"I have to go potty"- How could you deny a toddler who wants to use her potty instead of pissing on the bed or in her pull up? The solution is to let her go to the potty. Sometimes she actually goes, sometimes she forces the smallest puddle of urine to prove her point that she had to go. Often she just sits and stalls.

"My bottom is itchy"- This is often not true, but on occasion she could be sporting a diaper rash, or what not. The solution is usually to apply some cream.

"I'm not feeling well" or "I need a washcloth"- Babygirl was sick a couple of wknds ago, and due to her fever she would often get a wash cloth to just keep her temp down and what not. She also heard from us that she wasn't feeling well. The solution is to usually get a slightly damp wash cloth for her and to reassure that she's okay and just needs to sleep if she's not feeling well.

"I need a song"- Sometimes Babymama and Babydaddy will sing her a song, sometimes babygirl demands a song. The solution is to just sing a song.

"Lay down with me"- Good thing Babygirl just took over the guestbed, and sleeps on the queen size bed. So often times Babymama and Babydaddy will lay down with her to read her stories, or to just help her settle down. The solution is to lay down with her until she's feeling calm.

"I need_____"- The blank can range from "blue eyed baby," "cotton candy bear," "toy story ticket," "magic wand," etc. The solution is to hunt down the random object as fast as possible, which really could be on any 2 levels of our condo.

"I need ice water"- In transitioning Babygirl from the milk bottle at night, we switched to the luxury item of "ice water." Ever since then, Babygirl asks for "ice water" before falling asleep each night. The solution is to fetch ice water. Babygirl may be the highest utilizer of the ice maker in our freezer in the whole family.

"I feel scared"- Not sure where she got this from. Not even sure Babygirl knows what "scared" means, but she knows that it gets a response from adults. The solution is to just respond to her and soothe.

I'm sure there are some more classic stall tactics, but these seem to be the most popular ones.

eh, father's day

2010-06-30T13:02:00.006-04:00

Happy belated Father's Day to all. Hopefully ya'lls were better than Babydaddy's. It was only 3 months ago, for Babydaddy's bday he was all sick and laid up in bed.

This time around Babydaddy was sick once again. This time it was serious, and required trip to ER. Babydaddy had pneumonia. Actually 2nd time in his young life, boo!

To make matters worse, Babygirl was sick all wknd long. Nothing worse that being sick and taking care of a sick child.

Babymama is truly the champ and a hero in the house, holding down the household while chasing 2 kids all by herself, while Babydaddy was recuperating. God bless that Babymama.

ma familia!

(de)Efficiency?

2010-06-15T09:07:00.002-04:00

Woke up today, and everything was not gray(a pun on the opening line of Guster song).

Woke up at 7:30ish, 15mins after my alarm 1st went off.

Brushed teeth, took a shower. Thought about Baygirl's lunch options for today.

Went upstairs, started coffee, and started making PB+J (Babydaddy's standard lunch) and pita, cheese and tzatziki for Babygirl. Also made some raisin toast for Babygirl's breakfast.

Due to not so gray day, went outside and watered an area of the lawn where Babydaddy is trying to grow grass.

Came back inside, woke up Babygirl. Despite her being 2.5y/o she's like a teen trying to get out of bed at times.

Babygirl refused to go to the potty this AM, and the oppositional/defiant behaviors began.

Started washing dishes before Babygirl demanded that she had to color this AM, and struck a deal with me if that Babydaddy traced her hand, she would eat some food. Surprisingly she kept to her word and began eating breakfast.

By this point Babymama was already up and started playing some music for Babygirl while she was eating breakfast. Shortly after wards she demanded watching Barney. She then began to scream and yell waking up Babyboy, which was definitely grounds for no Barney.

Continued washing dishes that collected over the last 1.5 days.

Getting Babygirl dressed is no easy chore, and this AM did not disappoint. Funny thing is that Babymama and Babydaddy picked out separate outfits for Babygirl that were pretty much identical in look/style. Eventually the offer was made if Babygirl got dressed she could watch Babyboost- that didn't work. Eventually Babygirl did not want to wear Babymama's outfit and demanded to wear purple, she was adamant there was a clean purple shirt. After looking at her drawer, she came back to wearing the original outfit that Babydaddy picked out.

The next chore was getting some sunscreen on her, as well as doing her hair. Babygirl demanded to play with the "shakers" aka medicine bottles. At this time it was 8:40 and she had to be out the door in 15 to get to daycare.

A couple bottles were given, and a single side pony tail was put together.

Somewhere during this time oatmeal was eaten and coffee was drunk by Babydaddy.

Helped babymama get Babygirl into the car, and off then went at 9AM.

Also during this AM, laundry was started, and wash was transferred to dryer. 35 pushups were also snuck in while babygirl was eating breakfast.

Here Babydaddy is working from home for the next hour or so. What a crazy 90mins!

Any tips for AM efficiency?

a sample of Babygirl's play with the "shakers"

Can dads and moms really be just friends?

2010-06-09T09:42:00.004-04:00

Babydaddy found this article in Babble interesting. For most of Babydaddy's life he has had many platonic relationship with females through high school, college, and grad school. Things did change after marriage, but there continues to be a good group of women that Babydaddy keeps in touch with. Of course some of them are mothers, but most reside far away for playdates and regular stroller walks.

Babymama has a nice collection of mama friends, and I've met most of them. They are all very nice to me, but it's very clear that Babydaddy's presence upsets the balance of things. Babydaddy doesn't necessarily feel excluded, but they're not really his friends

Unsure if it's totally appropriate for Stay At Home Dads to be trolling for female friends, but the options are pretty limited when 90% of stay at home parent happens to be a woman. Babydaddy is not bitter, or even upset, but it can be lonely for us dads. Any thoughts dads?

"just hanging out"

awake+alert

And Then There Were Two. . .

2010-06-04T22:43:00.000-04:00

Babygirl has been nothing but gentle and loving with her new baby bro. We're all adjusting, but we're all doing well.

More details/recap of life the past 2 weeks to follow shortly.

Last Dance

2010-05-14T20:30:00.002-04:00

While Babymama is on high alert to pop out baby#2 at anytime, we all decided to run an errand this afternoon that included a trip to the ice cream shop to keep excitement levels in check.

As Babygirl sat on my lap and we shared some sorbet in a waffle cone, Babydaddy couldn't help but soak it all up. Babygirl was very focused on eating her cone, and also willing shared with Babydaddy. Even though Babygirl ate more sorbet than Babydaddy, we had a nice memorable moment.

Babydaddy couldn't help but get all sentimental with the thought this could be one of last non routine moments btwn us before #2 arrives and the chaos begins.

All in all Babygirl has been quite emotional, perhaps due to impending life altering changes, as well as normal developmental stages of "terrible two's." Babygirl has really turned up the nurturing factor- needing to sleep with many more stuffed animals, and needing to take more objects with her when leaving home, and all of sudden, "no thanks, thank you, and please" are just part of the norm. Even in tantrums it's hard to really get upset when there's good manners.

So perhaps this was Babydaddy's and Babygirl's "last dance," but in reality there's so many more first's than last's ahead of all of us.

cam you tell Babygirl enjoys eating blueberry pancakes?

Questions

2010-05-11T14:01:00.003-04:00

Babygirl is definitely inquisitive like babymama and is always wanting to know the details of things, especially the relationships btwn things.

For instance, Babygirl will commonly ask babymama, "What's Sally's mom's name?"

Other questions that are commonly asked:

"Who bought me this?"- is it clear that we live in a capitalistic society?

"Do you remember me?"- not sure if she needs the reassurance that she's stuck with babymama and babydadyy for life, or just mimicking Babymama when she asks her if she remembers someone or doing something.

"What that guy doing?"- or replace guy with car, man, etc. This question often comes up when Babygirl and Babydaddy are walking to the train station, and passing by people or parked cars.

"What's his/her name?"- this one occurs in passing, whether when we're on a bike ride or we're out for a run.

There are always the non questions that come up frequently.

"This is blue eyed baby's mom"- apparently Elmo is the mom of her baby doll.

"I see the moon"- could be any time of the day, she swears she see the "crescent moon."

"I see helicopter"- every non commercial plane apparently is a helicopter.

"pick-up truck"- taught her this the other week, and of course she loves to point them out.

"Cars every-where!"- often when we're out for a run, and the intersection is busy with cars.

"daddy, go to your kitchen!"- this is when she wants me not up in her grille, whether it's getting in the way of her TV watching, eating, or wants to play alone.

"I'm not a big girl, I'm a little girl."- typically said when you call her a big girl

"I'm getting bigger and stronger."- she prefers this statement, rather than growing up into a big girl.

Of course there are many more funny and cute things she says. She's definitely ready to be a big sister as best as a 2 year old could be prepared for.

"Accidents Happen"

2010-03-27T20:45:00.002-04:00

Babygirl has been doing very well with the potty training. Everytime there's a sucessful output it's followed by "Yeah! I went TINKLE!" Sometimes this will be followed by, "I WANT PINK AND BLUE!" which refers to candy that she would receive as an incentive for going to the potty. Since she only likes pink an blue things, she only requests a pink and blue skittle(tropical flavors).

Babygirl typically doesn't make an announcement re: poop, just because she's still working on it. When the poop does end up in the potty versus her diapers when she's napping or sleeping, or simply in her underwear. She's very descriptive in what kind of poop it is, there's been "ice cream, rock, and macaroni poop."

When she's so enthralled in her activity like eating, or watching TV, or watching TV and eating, she may not make it to the potty in time. This typically lead to tears, where poor Babygirl is upset and ashamed that she couldn't make it to the potty. Of course Babymamma and Babydaddy just reassure her and clean up the mess. Shortly afterwards, Babygirl will say "accidents happen," in the cutest nonchalant voice that's part statement, and part apology.

Babymamma and Babydaddy have been blessed with not having to deal with massive poop explosions in the middle of the night that require stripping the crib while half asleep. Although, in the last week they've had to strip the bed in the AM two times due to Babygirl waking up and stating that the bed was wet.

Ya see, Babygirl takes a while to fall asleep, somtimes she'll thrash around, sometimes she'll sing songs, recite her ABC's, talk to her stuffed animals, etc. Her latest trick is to undue her sleeper and take off her diaper and fall asleep commando style(for some reason she keeps her top shirt on). Of course if Babymamma and Babydaddy are not aware of this before they go to sleep, that's when the AM tinkle happens in her crib instead of the potty.

Tonight Babymamma, had the idea to make Babygirl wear her sleeper Kriss Kross style, that's right. . .backwards. This way Babygirl will never be able to pull down the zipper on her sleeper and get undressed, keeping her diaper on, and crib dry, hooray!

Happy Easter ya'll!

Wasn't I Right. . .

2010-03-06T19:17:00.003-05:00

. . .just call Babydaddy the Sartorialist, well maybe not yet. Earlier Babydaddy posted about how fashion fwd Babygirl was. Did anyone else catch the cover of Urbanoutfitters' spring catalog? They're basically wearing the same outfit, no?

Choosing a Pediatrician

2010-03-04T11:17:00.004-05:00

Since Babydaddy works at a health center, and knows all of the pediatricians here, it was a no brainer, when it came to where Babygirl would get her medical care. Not only is it great that her doctor is my colleague, I also get full access to her medical records, which is a nice bonus.

Babydaddy is aware that choosing a pediatrician can be difficult, and perhaps the following link written by pediatrician may be of help in selecting a doctor.

http://thefastertimes.com/pediatrics/2010/03/04/picking-your-babys-doc-the-prenatal-visit/

Other than that Babymamma, Babygirl, and Babydaddy are down to single digits (9 weeks!) before we meet Baby#2!

Babygirl has been working on her lullabies for her sib.

Grammar

2010-02-26T22:21:00.002-05:00

It's true English is not Babydaddy's first language, despite being born in an English speaking country. It's true Babydaddy scored higher in the math section of SAT's compared to the English section. It may also be true Babydaddy did not apply to grad schools that required GRE's.

Babydaddy is not very good at grammar, especially when he's totally into just letting thoughts and feelings fly out of his fingers for the blog, so grammar does take a backseat to just getting a new post up. Due to not posting frequently he even forgets there's a spell check button, but really what's needed is one of those grammar checking buttons or what Staples would refer to as an Easy Button that would just go ahead and correct all of my mistakes that drives Babymamma(who currently is teaching composition college students) bananas, and may or may not be one of the biggest critics of my poor command in written English grammar.

Babydaddy thoroughly apologizes for the lack of editing/proofreading that occurs in about every post. Hopefully Babydaddy will change, and make better efforts to not cause readers visual and mental anguish due to poorly written English.

*anyone looking for an editing job?

Sports

2010-02-21T21:13:00.004-05:00

Babydaddy's goal is definitely to instill values in Babygirl that she's fully capable to compete with the boys at the playground, field or court. Time will tell how much she fights Babydaddy on this one, but Babydaddy still hopes that he'll be able to play ultimate frisbee with her on the same team.

Babydaddy isn't going to be like NFL dad who grooms his child to be a quarterback from the age 4. I do hope that she does enjoy sports, because quite frankly Babydaddy enjoys sports- enjoys participating in it, watching it, following it, etc. So far Babydaddy would say he's off to a good start.

When Babygirl was only an infant, Babydaddy would read Sports Illustrated/ESPN the Magazine articles to her while holding her. Obviously she just liked the rhythm of the words and continuity of auditory stimulation that was not babymusic. Soon she began to enjoy the photos, the colors, etc.

Babygirl became attached to balls- tennis balls, spikey ball, yoga ball, etc. It was only natural one day we all watched several minutes of an NFL game together. Babygirl loved how the ball would be thrown in the air, how other people would kick the ball, and of course how people all fall. Right around this time she was really into "Ring Around the Rosie," especially the "we all fall down" part. So many people "falling" on top of each other was definitely sure joy.

Shortly afterward Babygirl began to identify numbers and colors, so NFL/football took on a different level of interest- green fields, numbers on the fields, numbers on the uniforms, different colored helmets(Babygirl likes her bike helmet). Babygirl soon began to ask for "Elmo Football" as well.

At this point, despite NFL season being over, Babygirl will still ask for football, so we'll catch a minute or two on the NFL channel. She's also quick to point out all the football related ads in magazine and Sunday circulars. These days Babygirl will even put on her "helmet" a pink bucket while she wants to play catch with the football. Perhaps Babygirl will be a candidate for the NFL's Punt, Pass, and Kick competitions, heck maybe girls will be playing football with the boys when she's in high school.

Good thing there's such thing as the NFL channel, otherwise I don't know if she would understand if Babydaddy had to explain the off season and this idea of the need to get into baseball and spring training. Babygirl has been to a baseball game and recognizes the game, but it doesn't really captivate her attention like football, same thing with basketball. Babygirl recognizes that people shoot the ball into the hoop, but isn't really interested.

As winter and the Olympics have rolled in, babygirl has definitely taken a liking to ice skating, and will typically watch something, especially like in speed skating where you can cheer for someone in a colored uniform. Prior to the Olympics Babygirl and Babydaddy enjoyed watching Shaun White highlights from the X Games, and particularly enjoyed the idea that people could spin and be upside down at the same time.

So far Babydaddy is happy with the progression of her enjoyment of all sorts of sports, and hope that Babygirl will continue to take an interest in participating in sports (not necessarily in a crazy competitive, got to go to the Olympics type way) but just for the sheer enjoyment of sportsmanship, competing, and pushing various mental and physical limits.

Obviously Babydaddy is excited for Babygirl to pick up ultimate frisbee, skiing/snowboarding, rock climbing, adventure sports, etc., and can't wait to participate together as father/daughter.

"Elmo Football" Babygirl also enjoys doing the "1,2,3, hit exercise"

This is Babygirl's stinky face

poop

2010-01-29T20:05:00.004-05:00

Babygirl repeatedly said the following today: "I want to eat poopies," while I was changing her diapers, and "I poop on daddy," while sitting on my lap as if I was her potty. Should I be concerned?

On another note, Babygirl continues to push the limits of how trendy she is. As most fashionable women, she's all about the oversized shirts, and not afraid of showing legs with or with out tights. Her pink pail doubles as her "football helmet," and as an all purpose retro purse for her "trips to the store," or "work."

In all honesty, Babygirl is starting to potty train so sometimes she's running around with her big girl "elmo underwear" on or simply just running around commando, which she thoroughly enjoys despite it being winter in a home whose thermostat settings are very conservative. I can't help thinking that sometimes she's dressed like all the college girls, perhaps this is something I should worry about more than poop.

Milestones

2010-01-06T15:34:00.003-05:00

Due to lack of time and holidays, Babydaddy has so much to share, so this will be an abridged version of things perhaps to come in the near future.

Babygirl can now:
-levitate off the ground when she jumps(previously both feet would not leave the ground when she would say she was "jumping."

-imagination gone wild: she has a toy lizard which has a tongue that's a measuring tape, it was a hand me down toy for someone. Babygirl calls it her "puppy." After spending holidays with pampa and nana's dogs Stubby+Ella and "Uncle JoJo and Sha Sha's" dog Pennie, she too has a dog. She will yell "Pup-pee!, cahm here" when she's looking for the toy. She also very persistent with having Babymama and I "walk the dog" to the "dog park" or to the doorway so that it can go to the bathroom.

-babydoll(s) and George continue to be part of the various activities of her life, the big thing is "Everybody Eats," which is a recreation of Thanksgiving Day dinner with placemats, plates, plasticware, etc. Also now that she has her own "tea set," she's serving tea every afternoon and just about every hour.

-music has always been something she enjoys, any real piano or the various xylophones she has are all fun to bang on. Lately she's into drumming on paper plates with Babydaddy. Babydaddy took an African Handrumming class and learned that every human is a natural born drummer.

-sense of humor/manipulation: when she doesn't want to sleep she'll cry so that she can be rocked again or so that she can get another Christmas song out of us. Her ultimate trump card while crying with tears is to say "pooopie!" Babydaddy would fall for this take her to the changing table where, after undressing her, she's dry as any desert. At that point she'll let out a "ha, ha, ha"(in a very sinister way) and also say things like "I all-star?"

she has also begun to experiment with her cute eyes, and is on her way to mastering the Bambi look. The other day babygirl comes up to me, uses a higher pitched, sweet sounding voice, gives me the big eye look and then immediately looks down and asks if she can watch "Big Burd"(aka: Follow that Bird dvd. Of course since Babydaddy is so mean, I said "no," and re-directed her.

-Vocab/words: Babygirl is just talking up a storm these days, repeating phrases and words that you don't think she would repeat, and beginning to try to say things out of context, which is always funny.

There are probably many more things that Babydaddy is forgetting, more to come later.

On a side note here's a plug for a dad who's also a pediatrician who writes some good stuff: Pediatrics

Babygirl and her grandma

terminology

2009-12-16T15:39:00.004-05:00

Perhaps it's Babydaddy's own lofty ambitions to raise Babygirl in an environment that is a good mix of exposing her to the big bad world, while keeping her under the security of protective arms and watchful eyes.

If there's anything that Babydaddy sees in working with adolescents or pre-teens, as well as his own reflections on childhood is the lack of frankness and appropriate conversations parents/adults have with kids re: all things related to sex, drugs and rock and roll.

In all seriousness some states down even allow for teachers to talk about sex, which is grossly lacking in the great Bay State that Babydaddy resides in. This lack of education puts even more pressure and importance on parents, and between soccer practice, afterschool activities, and what not, what kid or parent has time for sit down conversations on any topic that requires being open and frank? May B btwn txt msgs ppl can fit in all da important 411.

Oprah likes to use the term "va-jay jay," babymama has been known to use such terms as "lady parts," "ladyland," etc. Lately babygirl is in that normal, natural age where when she's naked her hands naturally go to body parts that are 99% of the time covered by a cloth diaper. Of course it was cute when babygirl would refered to her gluteus maximus as her "bootee," but it wasn't so cute when she would touch her labia/vagina and say "coochie." Is there a double standard that Babydaddy thinks "booty" is ok(cuz he taught her this), but not "coochie"(cuz Babymamma taught her this)?

Babydaddy firmly believes that there should not be any shame, embarrassment, with correctly naming all of our God given anatomical parts. Babydaddy can't tell you the number of times he's played the "penis game" with his clients(this has nothing to do with inappropriate touching, or anything like that, just a game to help boys get used to saying body parts as candidly as saying "elbow" or "knee" or "penis.") so why wouldn't Babydaddy's own little girl grow up learning all the real terminology for these body parts?

It's Babydaddy's belief if we as parents can use appropriate language, it will allow for a more open dialogue regarding anything related to the body, which includes sex. If a child grows up knowing that certain body parts have cute little names, won't there be some great embarrassment, or unspoken stigma in bringing up serious questions about those same body parts?

So Babydaddy thinks Babymama is on board with referring to the correct body parts with the correct terminology for those parts. What are other parents doing? What did ya'll grow up calling those "private parts." I think it's interesting that the non-medical terminology for penis in Korean is the same word for pepper, as in red, bell, jalapeno pepper, how about in your own native tongue, any funny names?

Accents

2009-12-08T21:04:00.006-05:00

Babydaddy has always enjoyed accents, and of course he always liked the English(UK) accent. Growing up in Canada, of course he was oblivious to Canadian accent, then moving to Michigan, who would have thought there was a Midwester accent? Going to college in Western PA he got exposed to Pittsburgh-ese, and of course moving to the Bean got him exposed to a whole new version of English, as well as the Irish brogue.

Come to think of it growing up in Toronto he also went to a school with a lot of Jamaicans, so he was definitely used to (one, two, tree, etc). Braveheart, Shrek(Mike Meyers), and Trainspotting got him into the Scottish accent.

Before babygirl could speak, he always wondered how she would sound-0f course it's sweet and totally cute. Happy to say she has yet to pick up any accent, if anything she pronounces things as she sees fit, and makes up her own words.

Of course the day Babymama reported that Babygirl has picked up on some of the subtleties of her daycare teacher, who's Jamaican, such as "wash yor hahnds," Babygirl also likes to say "you's." She also says "yah" like a Black lady. Babydaddy always though she would pick up a Scottish or English accent, since that's the accent most of her books are read in(what else is a dad to do when he has to read the same books over and over, might as well practice some accents).

Then again Babydaddy should have known, growing up in a city, and living in a diverse neighborhood, Babygirl was bound to pick up a hodge podge of accents. I'm sure it's only a matter of going to school she'll be exposed to a wicked good accent.

recent photo of our hipstah baby

Confessional

2009-11-27T14:09:00.003-05:00

While Babymamma was out with friend, and while Babygirl were asleep, Babydaddy got stuck watching TV. Since it's a holiday week, there's nothing but bad movieson , but Babydaddy managed to sit through a movie he's seen several times.

There's something about a movie, that involved blue collar men behaving and doing blue collar work, like drilling into the ground to tap oil reserves. There's also something about space and flight that fascinates me, any space SciFi related movie(Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens, Apollo 13, Top Gun, etc.). On top of all that you have actors who just play their interesting characters, nothing memorable or Oscar worthy, but nothing as bad as B movies. It also helps that you have a female character who's pale skinned and has dark hair(both my wife and mom have these features). Of course you have themes such as heroism, fate of mankind, love, brotherhood, trust, conflict, patriotism, underdogs, going rogue, a feel good ending, shots of ideal Americana, etc. Btw there's also a cheesy Aerosmith song that gets played at the end of the movie as well, and general likeable soundtrack.

Babydaddy could probably go on and on about the various scenes and dialogue that are compelling to him, but he'll save himself the embarrassment. Sure the science behind the movie, as well as the whole premise of the movie is highly unlikely, but it's a movie, and in the end it's compelling enough entertainment where you can get sucked into a movie and escape from the reality for a short period of time.

This movie was made in 1998, it has a cast of Bruce Willis, acting in a non cop Die Hard kind of way. You have Billy Bob Thorton playing a disabled man pre Monster's Ball. Ben Affleck before he started to over act, JLo or wife/kids and being a director. Michael Clark Duncan just playing a small roll, Owen Wilson playing a zany guy who gets killed, Steve Buscemi just getting into his character as he always does, and of course Liv Tyler.

If you haven't figured it out already, this movie is a Michael Bay movie called Armageddon.

So there you have it, what this says about Babydaddy, I don't know, but it's one of those movies when on TV, I can't just pass it up. Even though I keep telling myself, I'll just watch until this next scene, I just end up watching the whole thing. I'm a sucker. Babymamma knows I'm a sucker, and hopefully Babygirl doesn't know I'm a sucker yet.

*the most reassuring for Babydaddy is that he's not alone in getting sucked into this movie each time it's on TV, just read some of the reviews.

To: babygirl

2009-11-15T11:23:00.005-05:00

Dear Babygirl, it's been awhile since I've written to you. Where has time gone? Almost every time I change your diaper, it seems you've grown, your legs are stronger, longer, and your clothes are getting much bigger or smaller.

It seems so long ago that I would have to rock you back to sleep, wait I still do that from time to time, but there was definitely a time when all you did was just want/needed to be held. These days your so busy that if I'm lucky I might get a hug and kiss out of you before I'm out the door.

Each day is certainly a new day, a new day of learning some new words, understanding new mechanical concepts, or figuring out how you fit into this world. It's been a such a delight to see your vocab increase, and your ability to communicate with us increase. Other times mommy and I have no idea what you're trying to tell us, but we eventually figure out. Like for some time you use to say "appasappadah" which after many weeks we figured out that it was your word for "applesauce."

I was certainly shocked when I reading the many books we repeatedly read before you go to sleep, that you actually knew all the words to the books. Well at least the last word of every sentence. Like I would read "A hog and frog cavort in a. . ." and you would definitely say "bog." Soon you were completing every sentence for almost every book, its interesting that you have the knowledge of these words, but only use these words in the context of these books, rather than every day language like the words "kitten, top, mitten, bog, work, etc."

What has also been great to see is what Mommy says is your recognition of details, always aware of which things belong to certain people. Even this summer you were able to recognize who's shoes were who's and would be able to bring them to the rightful owner. Like great-grandma, whom you only spent a long wknd with, you knew which shoes were hers, or what slippers she wore. You're also very aware of all the shoes that your pals at daycare wear, and always talking about who so and so is, and how "funny" they are, etc.

Another thing that's been great to see is your imagination/fantasy play work. George(Curious) has always been your pal since birth, but these days he's really like a buddy. He almost has to always travel with you now. You like to be fair and share all things with him, even knowing that he doesn't eat, you do feed him, and ask about food for him. You also will put some diapers on him from time to time, or push him around in a car/stroller, or anything that moves. George has been known to play "ring around the rosey" with you, dance, give you "high five and fist bumps," and you'll even "rock him like a baby." Of course the babydolls also get this type of maternal love from you, but George, he's your #1.

Along with caring, you also show budding signs of empathy. You're always quick to be very concerned when babies in public are crying. You'll often tell me that "he/she sad, need binkie." The concerned face you make is so serious, and you become so affected by their crying. You also express when your happy, and if someone is funny. Although, it seems anyone who's positive gets the "he/she funny!"

All these signs of caring, empathy, and playing mom has both mommy and I excited for the upcoming arrival of your sibling this spring. I know when you saw the ultrasound you thought and wishfully wanted a puppy, but I'm sad to say it'll be a little baby. Of course i suspect this will be quite a transition, but at the same time, I know that you're going to be great caring big sister. Perhaps you'll be the big sister that daddy always wanted when he was growing up.

You've begun to know/learn about Jesus. You love to have mommy and daddy re-read all the Bible stories. The act of praying before every meal and before going to bed is certainly a ritual you look fwd to, so this is all very promising, and positive towards raising you in a positive Christian home.

Needless to say, it's been a very active and busy past couple of months of development and growth on all levels. Despite daddy's crazy schedule, it seems we make the most of our time together. I certainly enjoy our Mondays together, and any chance that we get to watch football together(you always like to comment on people falling, and like the clapping that occurs in the stands, as well as the kicking and throwing of the ball).

Mommy and Daddy love you dearly, and excited that you're going to be big sister soon, whom you'll share and teach all these great things you've picked up along the way.

Love,
dad

<3

2009-11-04T10:23:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile, but it's also been really busy. There's so much to report on, but the most exciting thing happened today.

For the first time to my knowledge, Babygirl said "I love daddy" while hugging the toilet. She wasn't sick, but nonetheless while we were in the bathroom, she said "I love daddy, I love mommy.

Pretty cool moment.

here's a cool pic of Babygirl

Loud and Proud

2009-10-09T11:29:00.004-04:00

Babymama is a great mom, and wife. I don't often verbalize these sentiments enough.

It's been a long and crazy week for our family. While it is true Babydaddy has been reunited with his family with a car that runs, Babygirl and Babymama have probably not really enjoyed my company this week.

While still nursing my mystery viral illness, that is more bothersome that debilitating, my arrival at home Tues night, started my life back at home right in the middle of the week, or right at the start of my crazy schedule. Ya see the beginning of the week is very chill for me, with a couple of appts on Sun, followed by some good family time in the evening. Mon, no work at all, and spending most of the day with Babygirl. Tues I return back to the clinic, but Tues night I'm at home with the family.

Coming home at the start of Wed, 12AM, I was already officially "on call"status for the hospital. Wed morning I was due back at the clinic, now being away for 2 days, I was not looking fwd to the madness. To complicate things, Wed AM's I go straight to a school to see kids at school, let alone I need to be there by 8:30AM. Wed night had me at my private practice. Thurs back at the clinic, but before I get to my office, I go straight to an alternative high school to meet with teen for the first 3hrs of the day. Then Thurs night is another night at my private practice. This particular Thurs, due to lack of coverage, I had volunteered 2 weeks ago to help cover the ER to start my on call shift earlier and was officially "on call" from 8pm to 8:30AM Fri. Of course I got paged right at 8pm. So right after all my clients at my private practice, I was rushing to ER to eval a confused man. Only then to be paged again half way home that I had another eval. Needless to say, I finally got home after midnight.

Fri, fairly straight fwd day, 8hrs at the clinic, and then home to my family for the longest stretch of time I'll spend with them all week. Pretty crazy week, pretty crazy schedule, but typically manageable when I'm not stranded in NY for a couple of days.

Throughout all this, Babymama has been holding down the fort, keeping Babygirl happy, healthy and clean. Babymama has also not been feeling under the weather, as well maintaining her own work schedule, teaching schedule, lesson prep, lunch prep, feeding herself, buying groceries, washing diapers, folding laundry, etc. etc. I can't even imagine the amount of energy and patience that was required to get through this week with Babygirl, as well as coping with my absence. Throughout it all Babymama has not been vindictive, or outright frustrated with me, and truly shows what a godly woman she is, who exudes with much motherly strength. I am most thankful and appreciative of all these wonderful qualities that Babymama, and also very lucky that she is my partner and spouse in this crazy life we have together.

Away From the Fam

2009-10-06T16:45:00.003-04:00

Usually it's the other way around, I'm left at home with Babygirl and Babymama is enjoying much needed time away. This time around, by chance, the girls managed to get whisked away and I got left in the dust. They're at home and I'm away.

Well it didn't really happen like that, but here's the story. The Family and I decided to attend a wedding in western NY. Great wknd, caught up with old friends, stayed with an old friend, and when the wknd was over we were headed home.

Not an hour into our drive, the car just died, couldn't accelerate anymore, so I tried to start the car again, and nothing. Called 911 for the first time for a disabled car that was not a true emergency, and also txt-ed the girl who got married for the cell number of someone who was also lives in the same direction as us.

Lucky enough, the folks that live near us, probably left Western NY about half hour after we did, and was able to scoop up the girls and deliver them home by night, while I stayed back for the tow truck and wait up the inevitable repair that hopefully wouldn't take more than a couple hours the next morning.

Well next morning has turned into 2 mornings, and I hoping that it doesn't turn into a 3rd.

Obviously this has been upsetting for my girls, as well as everything else that was suppose to happen this week. Luckily work is fairly flexible so I can just cancel appts, and reschedule them, but I'm ready to blow this pop stand and get on home.

I don't know what my life has become here stuck in my friend's apartment, that I'm totally thankful and comfortable in, but I miss the chaos of Babygirl, pagers going off at night, riding my bike to work rain or shine, eating PB+J, falling asleep next to Babymama, Reading Babygirl books, etc.

It's probably a blessing in disguise that I'm apart from my family while I have mystery cold/flu like symptoms. That and my car is going to be like totally refurbished and ready to roll into it's 200,000th mile of life and more.

Wishful thinking is simply nothing more than that

2009-09-20T20:36:00.003-04:00

There are mornings when Babygirl decides to wake up at some despicable hour, well not really, but earlier and hour or half hour earlier than normal. Then again on Sun AM's anything before 9am is despicable. Lately Babygirl is good to wake up 7-7:30AM window, everyday. There are always those AM's when she decides 5AM seems like a great time to start asking for a bottle, or 6AM when she just start crying because she wants out of her crib.

Well this AM it was 6AM, when she was crying, and was not going to soothe her own self back to bed. It turns out these chilly overnights make it chilly for Babygirl who doesn't believe in blankets yet, despite dressing her in warm clothes (if only she believed in wearing hats to bed like she did a year ago, sigh). Well after rocking her back to sleep, I laid her down back in bed, and not even 20mins later, she was back up stating she had a "poopy" diaper, and also needed a bottle, since she was so thirsty.

After all that, she had no interest to go back to sleep, and Babydaddy had no interest in staying up. So in my mind, despite knowing the likely outcome, decided to bring Babygirl to bed with Babymamma and I. Lets just say Babymama and I have tried this numerous time in the last 6 months and she's never once gone back to sleep with us. Of course I think, she's a bit older than the last time, and I'm just as tired, so in my wishful thoughts I think, ya she'll fall asleep, especially when she get's under that down comforter.

WHAT WAS I THINKING? Wishful thinking is like a form of delusion, just flat out crazy. Babygirl did start off pretty calm laying there, getting all cozy, before she poked me in my eye, sat up, bothered Babymama, and declared that the sun was up, roosters had already crowed and surely we had to get up too.

After 20mins, Babygirl and I started our Sunday at 7AM. Good thing I don't think Babygirl is despicable, nor am I delusional for loving this girl, but boy do I miss sleeping in on Sun's.

Yoga Baby

2009-09-09T15:32:00.003-04:00

One of the interesting things about blogging as well as reading blogs is the fact that you're not sure how many people are actually reading the actual blog, or people who stumble across my blog by googling search words such as: "caffeine" or "frantic nurse," etc.

Very few people tend to leave comments here at cornucopiandad, but when people do, Babydaddy is definitely one to respond. So this post goes out to my friend way out there in China who asked for pics of Babygirl doing downward facing dog, so here we go.

Also feel free to post comments, and let it be known that you're a lover or a hater.

*sorry for the droopy cloth diapers

Rockin' the new Cons for 1st day of Daycare! Can ya tell Babygirl loves stickers?

things that elicit "More"

2009-08-23T10:18:00.005-04:00

As Babygirl continues to develop and grow into being a little person, she's acquiring things she likes and things she doesn't like, as well as the verbal capacity to let Babymamma and babydaddy know what's up. The good thing is that not every question or thing is answered with the word, "No." It's interesting how babies gravitate to a two letter word that's so powerful, but the issues of asserting power is a topic for another day.

So here's the unofficial list of things Babygirl likes:
-baths in a tub with a bathmat, with never ending supply of water from the tap
-"nonnies" also known to you and me as raisins
-whole milk with strawberry Pediasure mixed in
-tuna, the girl loves it
-"Geoge" aka Curious George her daily companion and sleeping pal
-"Elco" aka Elmo another member of her entourage
-"I push the butt" aka I want to push the button on the cd player so I can rock out
-"wahhhk" aka walk, way too cool to ride in the stroller these days
-sitting in the potty for 5 seconds
-climbing into my own high chair when it's time to eat
-"bye bye poopies" said when we flush her poopies away
-balls- loves to throw them
-collecting and gathering objects
-wearing Babymamma's jewlery, watch, shoes, etc.
-looking at "baby" pics, when really they're pics of her from a year ago
-"rock" loves throwing rocks into the ocean
-loves any kind of body of water- salt, fresh, dirty, clean, cold, etc.
-swings- wants to test ride every swing, until she finds the right one @playgrounds
-downward facing dog- loves that yoga stretch
-going through Babydaddy's wallet
-"i see ball" she also shares other things she sees like bikes, etc.
-"i have foot" doesn't realize yet that she has feet
-"haaht" said when her food is hot or her car seat, or whenever

her ongoing obsession these day is the following clip:

Babygirl will ask to watch "Elco" several times a day, and is mesmerized by the singing of India and Elmo. You can even watch her trying to mouth the letters of the alphabet, and soon enough Babydaddy thinks she'll just sing the whole song in one shot.

Babygirl continues to bring much joy and love into our home, and Babymamma and I love it!

Is IUD the bomb?

2009-07-30T12:27:00.003-04:00

IUD or IED, what's the difference? Intra-Uterine Device or Improvised Explosive Device, often times both are difficult to find, and both are used as a prevention method.

In the case of IED, they're often buried in the road so unwanted vehicles or people(aka, US soldiers occupying foreign land) going by would detonate the explosive devise. In the case of an IUD, it's typically carefully implanted by the Gynecologist which prevents from sperm from fertilizing an egg, as well as if an egg was fertilized it would have difficulty attaching to the uterus.

Why is this an important note to dads? Well sometimes Moms like to get Dads involved in the birth control process, whether is equal sharing of who buys the condoms, to the the dad who reminds the mom to take the birth control pills, etc. As this article states, IUD are not too popular in the US, while in other parts of the world, it's widely used amongst women. I am sure there are many woman who dread the idea of going back on the pill, the possible weight gain, the hormonal changes/imbalances, etc.

Perhaps the Dads out there can suggest the IUD, no hormones, low cost, no mess. While the NuvaRing is similar, other than you have to keep putting it in and taking it out, I've heard it was never designed for women who are sexually active with well endowed man(true story, personal friend had to call NuvaRing customer service on why the ring wasn't working for her and her man).

What would be best form of birth control for your family? IUD, BCP, Tubectomy, Vasectomy?

Four Days Away

2009-07-30T11:21:00.005-04:00

Babymamma was away for the past 4 days. Luckily, Babydaddy has a mamma who wanted to come and hang out w/Babygirl and help me out with the logistics of balancing work, play, and life.

Oh there were adventures and mishaps, but most of them did not include Babygirl. Eachday she would tire herself out with endless shenanigans and theatrics she would perform for her Grandma. It probably included: her ability to climb on to things, her games of wanting more milk but not really wanting, but wait I think I want it now, saying "bye poopies," as someone flushes the toilet, running around in the ocean, playing in the sprinklers, saying "no," "oh-oh," "no way," learning new words like "walk," "rock," "wet," throwing balls around, reading many books, dancing, stretching, trying on hats, trying on Babymamma's shoes, putting on bling, putting diapers on her dolls/stuffed animals, and lots of hugs and kisses.

Babygirl got to bond with Grandma, Babymamma got to get pumped up at a conference, and Babydaddy got to spend more time with Babygirl as well.

Summer living ain't too shabby when Babygirl provides all the laughter.

Me, Grup, U?

2009-07-10T11:40:00.003-04:00

An astute friend of mine passed along this article from the NYMag, about Grups, or Grown Ups, or basically hipster dads. Interestingly the article was published in 2006, since I wasn't a dad back then, nor have I ever read the NYMag, I guess I never came across the article.

I guess Babydaddy here wants to know, how many dads outside of NYC, identify with the dudes in this article? By no means am I hipster, dress down techie who has a flexible schedule and buy Ramones onesies for Babygirl. I do live in the city, I do commute by bike, not a fixed gear bike, I do have a collection of retro shoes, I also do like to go through the sales rack of Urban Outfitters, but I certainly don't have time to be chasing indie bands, wear retro t-shirts from the 80's, or quit jobs frequently to fit my lifestyle.

I do feel as a dad and adult, I long to hold on to Passion. I long for more passionate parenting experiences with Babygirl, I do hope that I can foster her own passions, rather than conform to molds of what's socially acceptable or a passing fad at the moment. I also hope that my jobs do not stifle my passions for my own pursuits. I guess like many hipster dads, I don't want to just live to work, so that I can work to live. I know I won't be carrying a briefcase anytime soon, and I'm happy going sock-less most days of the years, but is that going to be enough to keep the Passion alive? Isn't the chase for staying young and being youthful and passionate a losing battle in the end?

Everyone is looking for something to bring meaning to their lives, sometimes it's family, sometimes it's who we associate with, sometimes it's a revolutionary movement, or political affiliation, at the end of the day my Christian identity makes the most sense to me and helps me to stay grounded and not get caught up in emotionally charged/uplifting groupings.

What drives your ideas of adulthood, parenthood, or being Grup?

Vacation Tips

2009-07-09T14:17:00.003-04:00

While Babydaddy has traveled a bunch with Babymamma, before baby was included in our names, the 4th of July wknd, was our first opportunity to travel w/Babygirl which did not include attending a wedding, figuring out how to get a baby through airport security, or visiting family.

I think the #1 idea of thinking about traveling with a baby should not be about costs. Of course you should always stay within budget, but let me explain. While we went for pricier accommodations, it was totally worth the cost. First we stayed in a suite, which allowed for us adults to stay up well past a child's early bedtime. It also gave kids enough space to run around and not feel like they are trapped in a hotel room. We also had access to a full sized fridge and kitchenette if we wanted to cook in(who wants to cook on vacation). Of course there was a pool, which is always nice for the kiddies, what kid doesn't love to swim? There was also a very nice hot tub for the adults too.

With the nice suite option, we had a better than expected continental breakfast, that was not your typical, heat your own waffles, eat boxed cereals, and drink some coffee breakfast. Every breakfast was slightly different, but great, and everyone took full advantage of the free food. Eating a good breakfast, which also had good coffee, cut down on costs for snacks before lunch, and allowed for a small lunch rather than big lunch.

Where you spend extra money on accommodations, it seems that we were able to cut corners on meals. Only because Babygirl just doesn't do well in sit-down-restaurants, which allowed for Babymamma and I to go get quick sandwiches, go to off the tourist path's eateries and have real conversations with hipsters working their summer jobs. We would make Rachel Ray proud in accomplishing $40 a day on meals for three.

While Babydaddy typically likes to get the most of traveling and pack in as many things as possible, but with Babygirl in tow, I made very loose plans, and left it up to Babygirl's mood, weather, and various other factors that could come up with traveling with a baby. So being flexible and just enjoying the fact that you're out of town, or don't have to worry about cleaning should be much appreciated of any vacation.

While Babygirl did get out of some routines and rituals, it was vacation and we tried to roll with it. For instance Babygirl got to co-sleep with her parents for the first time. The pack n play wasn't working out. Of course trying to keep some thing predictable and same as home is much more comforting for kids, even if they are on vacation.

Of course any destination that has plenty of outdoor space, playgrounds, children friendly places(museums, stores, restaurants, activity places) are a must. I would say it could be difficult to find balance btwn fun things for the parents and fun things for kids/babies, but being a part of your child's exploration of a new place, or new thing is pleasure in itself!

Go out and and explore!

While we did not fly to our vacation this time, we have traveled extensively on airplanes with Babygirl, since she was less than a year old.

(In)Audibles

2009-06-30T14:01:00.002-04:00

Babydaddy typically has to entertain Babygirl when she's getting her diaper changed so she doesn't cry or fuss too much with the procedure. Typical the dialogue includes, "Where's your hair?" and she grabs her hair, "Where's your belly?" and she'll pat her belly. "What does mamma say?" and she says, "ssshhhh" (from the song, Wheels on the Bus- the mammas say "sssshhhh"). I'll also ask, "What does the pirate say? and she'll say "arrrg".

We recently branched into animals like cow, bear, lion, doggie, still trying to get cat/kittens, sheep, duck and horse down. Interestingly, as auntie TP came to visit this wknd, she got stage fright and forgot all her animal sounds. Now when I ask "What does the lion say?" Like a good Asian girl, she'll cover her mouth and giggle. The same goes for the bear sound. Truth be told the bear and and the lion sounded the same, but when will the roars come back?

It's quite interesting how Babygirl has acquired language, or has stopped acquiring language. For instance despite Babydaddy and Babymamma asking if she wants "raisins" each day, she'll agree and state she wants "nonnies." Despite not really watching TV, she now knows who Elmo is, and refers to Elmo, as "Elco." Again despite corrections, her parents say "Elmo" and Babygirl says "Elco." Guess we got a strong willed baby.

Another word she has been saying repeatedly is "bucky, bucky, bucky." No one has any clue what she's referring to, but she seems to enjoy saying it and is typically smiling when she says it. The only thing I can think of is when I would call ducks, "ducky."

On the flip side, her comprehension of proper English words, commands and what not is improving. We can ask her to sit, and if she wants, she'll sit. When we ask her to use gentle hands, her lobstah claws transform to paint brushes. She can typically put things where she found them, when I ask, this especially comes in handy when she's taking out every card from my wallet.

One of the strangeest thing is that she'll wake up in the middle of the night and ask for a "bopple," not necessarily to drink, but just to have. Babymamma and I have discovered she just likes the comfort of a cold bottle near her at times, so we've now always have a babybottle filled with water on ice.

Babygirl is weird, but we continue to love the joy she brings to our lives.

It's So Hard. . .

2009-06-22T17:26:00.003-04:00

. . . to say goodbye to Babygirl these days. Just the other day I held Babygirl, gave her a hug+kiss and began to leave just like every other weekday morning, only this time Babygirl let me know how she really felt. Babygirl threw down her sippybottle with vengence, began to scream/cry and stomp her feet. I was frozen in my tracks, how do I leave a girl who's clearly unhappy with saying goodbye.

I wouldn't say that Babygirl is more clingy, or needy, but I would say we continue to have our own special moments where we come up with new ways to bond, find new ways to laugh, or silly new things we learn together. She's into independent play, able to self soothe, and ask for things.

I guess in some ways my schedule has changed as I've been playing ultimate frisbee this summer(something I look fwd to starting in Feb). I'm away 1-2 nights a week for ultimate, but on top of that I'm working 2 evenings a week, so that really leaves very little time for quality time. Also in the mix, has been 7:3oAM physical therapy appts x2/week, which takes away from some AM bonding(although that's going to end this Fri.)

I wish I could say that Babygirl is just exhibiting large emotions with goodbyes, but it really doesn't happen when Babymamma goes out, or when we're leaving someplace, but it only seems to occur when I'm leaving by myself. I guess she's really letting me know how she feels, and I can't help but sigh, and feel guilty and sad for leaving.

It would be one thing if I just never came home, and I was perpetually absent every night, but it's the small amount of time that I'm home which is just a tease for her and perhaps gets her all excited to see me, and then quickly I'm going out the door. I can only hope that things will get better in time, but perhaps in time Babygirl will only begin to expect that "daddy just likes to go places with me."

I guess in many ways Babydaddy has got to do some thinking about his whereabouts on a day to day basis, and re-think his schedule, even if it means cutting back in work. How have other dealt with the balane btwn spending time with family vs. providing for family vs. balancing the needs of one own's self and sanity?

Father's Day

2009-06-21T12:35:00.003-04:00

Happy Father's day to all the dads out there. I hope everyone is relaxing and not having to mow the lawn or anything.

As Obama says, "Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father."

I hope that every dad is encouraged by the people around them to continue to persevere as fathers with the various challenges and difficulties of home, work, and the world around us.

May we continue to have the courage to be present in the lives of our children, the mothers of our children, and for the children whose fathers are not present in their lives.

not because i'm lazy

2009-06-10T11:58:00.002-04:00

not sure why the posts have been slow and non existent, but in the absence of all this, i found an appropriate dad article for folks.

i can't say i'm like this writer, but i do like his question re: needing to reinvent the perception and conception of the American Man.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/06/09/man_up/print.html

Monkey Love

2009-05-13T11:22:00.003-04:00

Do ya'll remember those sock monkeys that we grew up with, they hand long gangly arms and legs, and the best part was that the hands had velcro on them so they could connect so you could wear your monkey around your neck like big ol fuzzy bling, 80's style? Well I never had one of those, but I don't think I was missing much. I don't even think I was missing much when I didn't have my own Coco the Chimp.

After Babygirl's little bout with having a cold- waking up in the middle of the night due to fevers, runny nose, etc., we got a nice little bond going on. On the flip side, she's not sick any more, but she's going through a needy stage, and does not like to be consoled by Babymama if I'm around. I think the for the last couple of mornings, I've had to make my breakfast+lunch while holding Babygirl in one arm, just like one of those monkey with the velcro hands.

Sometimes Babygirl is pats me on the head, or strokes my hair with her hands, other times he hands morph into a mean Bahston Lahbstah Clah or a violent monkey and leaves marks on my face or neck. I enjoy being a source of reassurance, sense of safety, and nurturing Babydaddy, but c'mon Daddy also needs to be productive and efficient with his AM routines, as well as not go into the office like a rabid squirrel landed on his face while biking to work.

Irregardless(Babymama's least fav word), I still love this monkey baby of mine, and will continue to take the good with the bad, but really it's not even that bad, so it's really a whole lotta good, mixed with equal amount of love.

In Love with Babygirl

2009-05-06T12:35:00.003-04:00

Babygirl, it's been a pleasure to hang out with you the last two evenings without Babymamma. During this time I just had so much love for you, and I also became aware that I need to find the balance in my love. Otherwise I would regress back to freshmen year in college when I thought my then girlfriend was going to be the girl I would get married to and have kids with, that's not the type of love you'll need growing up.

With the absence of Babymamma we've gotten to bond, learn some new things, and just play. We learned a new body part- you now know where your tongue is, and stick it out quite frequently these days. We watched a couple minutes of BBC's Planet Earth, and you thought the polar bear cubs were "bow wow's,"(dogs) and empathized with their hunger, and offered them your "bopple" (bottle).

You've also been thriving in many ways, just eating everything in site, and you seem to be getting bigger, taller, and heavier each day, which is all a good thing (we're almost back up to double digit percentiles for your weight, yeah!). You're into climbing, and sharing your food, pacifier, bottle, with me and your stuffed animal pals. You've also discovered the word and concept of "mine," which is a shocker for both Babymama and I.

You've also had some difficulties at night, waking up due to not being able to find your pacifier, just being uncomfortable, etc. which has led to increased time we spend in the dark. Sometimes I sing, we'll re-read "Gossie," or sometimes we just rock. Most often you ask for "Geoge,"(Curious George) to help soothe you, and if I'm lucky you'll fall asleep with your head on my chest, like earlier this AM. It's all these little moments that makes my heart melt, and allows me to furiously ride my bike home to spend whatever time I have with you before you head off to bed, or I head off to my other office.

Despite getting older, it's good to know that I can still rock you to sleep, and teach you silly things. For now I can give you all this undivided attention and love, and that's ok.

State of Panic

2009-04-29T13:58:00.003-04:00

It's been almost 2 years now where I have gone to bed with the possibility of being awakened. The fall of 2007 is when I officially began moonlighting at a local hospital as their on call psych emergency guy from 12am to 8am couple nights a week. After a few months, Babygirl arrived.

Often times I'm confused or just simply pissed when I wake up to the pager going off. There was a time when Babymamma thought an ice cream truck crashed into our place due to the ringtone of my pager. These days, I grab my pager instinctively, and wake up with pager in hand wondering how I woke up without remembering hearing the pager ringing.

After more than a year, the shrill of Babygirl crying still jump starts my slow beating heart to full on panic. Not sure what I'm scared of or panic-ed about, usually Babygirl just needs her pacifier, often times milk, or is just letting out some cries while she's sleeping.

Babygirl is safe, we lock doors and windows, she's healthy, we're past SIDS stage- not sure if Babymamma ever awakens in a panic due to the cries, but I still do.

No worries, Babygirl is really not a Buckeyes Fan.

Where's Your Nose?

2009-04-06T11:22:00.002-04:00

As Babygirl continues to grow and hit her developmental milestones, it's just been fun to sit back and watch her pick up new words and new concepts. She's really into figuring things out, and likes to hide things and come back to them seconds later just to know that they are still there.

I think in a few years we'll be strapping Babygirl into harness so she can go rock climbing with us. She just loves to hook that heel and pull her self up on to boxes, shelves, chairs, etc.

Another thing we've enjoyed is getting her familiar with her body parts. Babymamma and I are not progressive enough to read to her Spanish and Korean, but at least we can help her learn some body parts in English. Most days she can point to her where ears, nose, mouth and belly. Although lately, she's getting some things confused or not playing the game at all.

The funniest thing is that when we ask her, "Where's your nose?" She'll take her right pointer finger right up her right nostril, and say, "No, No-se." How she learned how to stick her finger in her nose, and why only her right nostril beats me, but it's a sight to see. What a funny gal. Fatherhood is full of fun times, I can't wait until she's saying the most hilarious things.

Fragility of Life

2009-04-04T10:23:00.003-04:00

Becoming a dad has definitely led me to be more in tuned with the fragility of life. Perhaps one extreme form of this realization is signing up for life insurance. Not that I'm headed to Iraq, nor do I have a high casualty job, but I am the head of household that works to provide for the family, so my absence would definitely put Babymamma and Babygirl in a tough place.

Anyways, as my 30th year of life approaches, I've noticed the themes that I'm surrounded by at work, at home, on TV, on the radio- it happens to be about the fragility of life. How things can seemingly change in a blink of an eye. It all started when I was watching TV, perhaps it had to do with being up for more than 39 hours straight, but the characters the plot lines, all were eliciting a range of emotions of frailty, and the uncertainty of what happens when a loved one passes away.

Thoughts of what it would be like to raise Babygirl as a single dad, the various things that Babymamma would have to encounter if I was on "life support." What if Babymamma passed away, would I go into a deep depression, and have an unquenchable yearning for my wife which leaves Babygirl in the unfair position of having lost her mom, and an emotionally checked out dad? Surprisingly I am more at peace with the inevitable passing away of my parents, of course it will be sad, but in many ways I think the loss of my wife or child will have a greater impact on me.

I have encountered or been exposed to a multitude of losses this week, sometimes it's a death, sometimes it's been neglect that results in a loss for someone else, sometimes a parent is coping with the loss of their boy who is now a teenager, sometimes it's a mom who's struggling to keep her marriage and family alive, loss is all around.

Of course Love is all around us as well. The problem is that it's more gripping to report/share about loss than it is with love. Perhaps this next decade of life, the new frontier into my 30's should really be about exposing the love that already exists within us and within others.

Being a dad, a husband, and husband has already increased my conceptions of love, but there can never be enough of it, and I can only hope that through the understandings of God's love for mankind will I be able to greater share love with others all around me.

A moment of balance and love

Peek-a-boo!

2009-03-24T09:33:00.003-04:00

So many things have been going on with Babygirl these days. She's taking more steps each day, she's into figuring out how things open, gathering things and putting them in various containers, she continues to love slides at the playground, and she's learning new words each day. I've also had some nice extended times/day hanging out with her.

Lately she's been against having her diaper changed, so like most things, we had to make a game out of it. While she's laying on her back, getting ready to be changed, we play peek-a-boo. Something she manged to learn at 11month, and several months later, she's still hamming it up, and loving the game of peek-a-boo. Sometimes she even covers my face so that I can play peek-a-boo with her. As you can imagine, it's full of laughter, smiles, and it's all so cute.

On a side note, it's been difficult trying to stay fit and exercise. Something that has been helpful is squeezing a stress ball at work with one hand, working the forearms. Such a simple exercise and a mild burn in the forearms has led to them getting stronger, which has helped me push past my previous threshold of the number of consecutive push-ups I could do. Perhaps all this time, it wasn't about me being weak but more the stabilizing muscles that allow me to do push ups were weak, any thoughts?

Other than that if I didn't commute by bike, who knows what I would look like or feel like. As we approach almost 2 years of living in our condo, I'm quickly approaching the approx 2000 mile mark of biking. My lifetime mileage of biking is probably closer to 2700 miles. Other than my life with my family, faith in God, prayer, and biking have been one of the most important things to healthy/happy living. Any other dads commuting by bike?

Doubleback

2009-03-04T10:52:00.004-05:00

For whatever reason, my schedule allowed me this past Sunday to run errands with Babygirl. I got out of work early, and Babymamma had some assignments to finish, so she sent me on the monthly Trader Joe's run, while also stopping at the New Balance Outlet Store to return some shoes.

You can only imagine that Babydaddy was excited to go out alone with his Babygirl. Babygirl was well behaved in the car, we sang some songs, and ran our errands. Despite the craziness of crashing carts at TJ's, and mad white people sporting Patagonia, Mountain Hardware, North Face, Marmot, and Arc'Teryx all for a shopping trip on a cold Sunday in the city via car(not by bike, snowshoeing, skiing, etc. This is obviously a whole different topic, but c'mon is it really necesary?).

Anyways, after a successful trip and many laps around the store, we left feeling good. No meltdowns, no crying, Babygirl was happy with some pretzels and a bottle of water. On the way home, I glanced back and noticed her sleeping, and also that a shoe was missing! I waved my arm towards the floor hoping that Babygirl had kicked it off while I was still driving, no shoe. When we arrived home, there was no shoe to be found anywhere, but Babygirl was still asleep.

After handing Babygirl to Babymamma, I said, "We lost a shoe, I'm going back to TJ's to find her shoe." She was like "Really?" "Ya shoes are expensive, . . . peace." In the back of my neurotic mind I was thinking, "Great, the one time that I go out with Babygirl I lose a shoe, this will be the last time I'll get to go out unsupervised, or more importantly it shows how I'm really careless, or can't multi-task, etc., etc."

Doubling back to TJ's with some traffic, I got to the parking lot, and lo and behold, found the shoe underneath a Porsche SUV(what kind of outdoorware do you think the owner was sporting?), the shoe must have fallen off when I hastily took Babygirl out of the shopping cart and into the cat. Not sure why I was hurrying, yes it was cold outside, but it's not like the car was warm.

Lesson learned, no more hasty exits from the shopping cart, therefore avoiding to double back, waste gas, waste money, and waste time on a Sunday. Worst of all, by the time I came back, Babygirl was already in bed, doh!

Am I still in the running for Babydaddy of the year?

What's in a Shoe?

2009-02-22T14:10:00.005-05:00

Babymama informed me that other day that Babygirl ". . .did not want to grow up any more, simply stay a baby." I inquired very perplexed how Babygirl could have conveyed her desires to be like Peter Pan.

Well, apparently Babymamma decided to help Babygirl with her walking, she would get her out of her soft soled shoes, and upgrade up to big girl shoes with the firm sole. I guess Babygirl had opinions of her own and was inconsolably crying and just not having any of this firm sole shoe stuff.

Since then Babygirl has been reluctantly wearing her big girl shoes whenever she can, she's still intrigued with these clunky things on her feet, but I think she'll grow to like them. The move to big girl shoes got me all excited for a the 4 pairs of Converse All Star hightops I got her in an array of sizes(they were on sale), I think by summer, she'll be the cool kid sporting her black Chuck Taylor's.

Surprisingly, when I showed Babygirl her new shoes, she was really excited, and even gave her new shoes hugs and kisses. Perhaps this is just the beginning of a life long Babydaddy approved relationship with Chuck Taylor.

What's in a face?

2009-02-13T00:33:00.004-05:00

When Babygirl was born, I told Babymamma, that now that we have a baby, and we'll be so busy, I think I'll forgo getting a haircut. I had grand dreams of pony tails and looking like a samurai or asian biker gang dude or something like that. Of course not even after 2 months, and probably going almost 3 months without a hair, the hairs got cut.

After another busy week, and more product in the hair due to it's length, the dilemma of how to fit in a haircut with my salon lady while working so much arose. Of course it doesn't help that salon lady also had a baby and only works 3 days a week.

So Babymamma suggested, "Why don't you just shave your head?" I looked at her, cocked my head upwards as I thought about this idea, and responded cooly, "OK, I'll shave my head."

4 years in college right before Valentine's day, I would buy whole pack or razors, and shave nearly every sq inch of my body. No this wasn't for my once a year S+M hot wax, chocolate sauce ritual with Babymamma, but more I was a swimmer, and our conference meet always landed on the wknd before Valentine's day. So my body has a memory of getting rid of hair every Feb, and since I've graduated I've probably shaved my head in Feb 3 times. People think it's drastic, but to me it's normal, and not a big deal. Of course it helps that I don't look bad as a bald headed guy, nor do I have an awkwardly shaped head.

Of course the next morning I was looking fwd to how Babygirl was going to react. When I went to pick her up from her crib in the AM, she just went through her normal routine and that was that. She didn't cry, "where's daddy!" or anything of the sorts. If anything she's come to patting my head now, or perhaps she thinks my head is a drum.

Which got me thinking, what is it about me that Babygirl recognizes. Since she's been born, I wear contacts when I go for a run or play ultimate, and she doesn't seem to mistake who I am without my glasses. She also doesn't seem to mind if my hair is down, I'm wearing my hat, my hoodie, or if I've buzzed off all my hair. Is it simply my facial structure and facial features? What does it take for a brain to remember a familiar face? Quite fascinating isn't it?

Well as the girls have gone off to the Midwest for a funeral, I'll be missing the girls the next 5 days, but I know that even after 5 days of no daddy time, Babygirl is going to remember her daddy, and there's nothing sweeter than that!

book binder?

2009-02-10T19:05:00.005-05:00

If someone had asked me what fatherhood comprised of, I would most likely have answered them with the following possible answers:
-a gentle caring role model who is always there to protect their child
-someone who's fun but fair
-someone to help in the development of a child's personality, morality, character, values, etc.

Never would have I thought that it involved rinsing out cloth diapers, scheming ways to fattening up Babygirl, or letting her go to bed with my chapstick. I always knew that there would come a time when I would fix her bicycle, untie knots, fix broken zippers, crazy glue science fair projects together, but never would I have thought that I would venture into the world of book binder.

To be exact, I've yet to bind any books, but I do some magic work with clear packing tape, especially with babygirl's pop-up books. Sure pop-up books are visually stimulating and add depth to what's going on in a story book, but c'mon, babies like to grab, rip and tear.

I guess in reality fatherhood is comprised of many little things and perhaps a few very big things. I wonder when I'll get to start fixing things with duct tape?

Headshot for Spy Kids audition

Suck Day

2009-02-04T18:44:00.002-05:00

Today is not Babydaddy's best day. He woke up late, and didn't get to hand out with Babygirl. He came home, and Babygirl was asleep. He was home for all of 10mins, before heading back out the door, to go his other job. Here I am waiting out a no show, boo!

I did get to see Babygirl in the highchair, but that was about it, and by the time I get home, Babygirl will have probably been asleep for 1.5 hrs.

I miss that little girl.

525,600

2009-02-01T12:47:00.002-05:00

Last night and this morning I officially went to bed with the numbers 525,600 in my head, as in the number, as in the number of minutes in a year, or as they repeat over and over in Seasons of Love.

Babymamma and I have officially spent five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes with our babgirl, or 365 days.

About 75 of those minutes, occur when I go to pick up Babygirl from her crib in the mornings. Babygirl will either be yelling/crying or just letting us know that she's awake, and I'll typically go in and greet her. That first minute where we're saying goodmorning usually looks like this.

Babygirl is sitting in her crib with her pacifier still in her month, she'll have turned on her little crib music things, and when I see her, she'll usually let out some kind of excited grunt or noise. By the time I actually lean into her crib, she'll offer me "George", Curious George, whom I"ll take and give him a hug a kiss. I'll then give George back to her, which she'll snatch back up and give George a hug and a kiss as well. I'll then pick her up, remove her pacifier, and then we're on our way to morning rituals, and the beginings of yet another day for Babygirl.

The "Good Morning" routine, has yet to get old, and it's just one of the many repetitive minute(s) that I've enjoyed with Babygirl.

Oops

2009-01-30T15:24:00.004-05:00

Does this blog still exist? Obviously I've lost track of it, but actually it's been on my mind. One day I vow to post, and then it doesn't happen. I say I'll post when I have more time, and then more "post-able" stories come into play, and so I need more time, time I don't have and so 4 months later the blog devoted to dads and Babygirl is nonexistent.

Well on the eve of Babygirl's 1st birthday, I vow to get back into blogging, although I've decided to post regularly, albeit less lengthy and substantial posts. I've set the standard to simple Twitter-esque posts.

I've been a dad for a year, and it's been lots of fun. There are many things that are still foreign to me, and I have not spend an entire day with Babygirl by myself in the last 9 months. It still puzzles me how Babymamma can do it day after day, and most importantly I am lucky and happy that Babygirl is under the care of my wife. A woman whom I always knew would/could be the mother of my child, and do a good job at it.

As a dad I've fell into very boring gender type roles of being a "breadwinning dad," I work so that Babygirl can stay at home with Babymamma. Yes over the last year, I've worked many more hours, gotten a lot less sleep, and drank a lot more caffeine, waking up each morning knowing that Babygirl is happy, thriving developmentally in a safe and nurturing environment makes the long days, and sleepless nights totally worth it.

I'm sure many dads and mom try to find the appropriate balance btwn work and time with baby, and I can't honestly say I've found the balancing point, but for now, it works. Of course I wish I could spend more time with Babygirl, of course I miss her during the day, and of course Babygirl does not get all of my undivided attention when I am not at work, but we're all trying, and it continues to be a work in progress.

I guess being a dad, the ideals of being a dad, and the challenges of being a dad are ever evolving. For now, this is how it is. Also as a dad, the sense of providing for a family only renews my own depleted energies to continue to give back to Babygirl and Babymamma. Thank you both, and Happy early Birthday little one.

Babygirl is a droid

2008-08-27T11:49:00.006-04:00

Baby girl is nearing 7 months of life. There's not a whole lot of mind blowing things to blog about. For a girl she's still lacking hair, she's not bald, but it's still pretty thin and trying to grow in ever so slowly. She's sitting up by herself, but the whole idea of crawling isn't really working. I think she may learn how to stand up on her own before she crawls. Babymamma and I have thought she's been teething since 4 months ago. What do we really know, Babygirl was drooling a lot, and always had her fingers in her mouth, needless to say at 7 months, she's still pretty toothless, but has some great gums for dentures if we ever wanted to go that route.

Other than that I have the distinct pleasure of feeding Babygirl some food, usually some kind of pureed veggie and fruit. I try to keep the messiness down, and try to instill some order so there's not a lot of playing with food, so far it's going well, and oh she's eating well too. Of course what goes in must come out, so our days of "clean poop" are long gone. Let's just say things are a bit more messy in every way possible than the good ol' days.

Speaking of the good ol' days, it's almost hard to imagine the little infant I held with one arm that barely moved or cried, is now bigger, bolder, and even cuter. She's really exploring her surroundings, responding more to people, trying to interact with others, developing some autonomy, pretty cool things to be a part of.

Part of all this growing up and reaching developmental milestones is the countdown to actually talking. I keep wondering what the voice of my child will sound like, this for me is more exciting than her running or catching a frisbee. Which leads me to wonder when George Lucas was thinking about what an Ewok and R2-D2 would be like, I wonder if he a little baby in the house. When I think of Babygirl, all rollie pollie, clumsy with her motor skills, but still very cute, that's probably a good way to describe an Ewok no?

Well Babygirl is also reminding me of every one's fav droid. There is nothing decipherable about how R2 communicates with others, it's typically a whirl of high pitched beep, blips, screeches and flat tones that allows R2 to be understood by others. Quite similarly, Babygirl likes to shriek in high pitched tones, grunt and roar like a Simba, and make other noises that put her closer to a droid than human. For now it's cute, and I just play along and make various sounds back. No worries I also talk to her like a human quite often and read with many different English accents. But no where have I read that part of speech development is to sound like R2-D2 before graduating to talk like C-3PO. For now, I continue to enjoy doing my best James Earle Jones impression, "Babygirl, . . .I"m your father."

Swingin' Baby

6 Month Gear Review

2008-07-28T14:42:00.003-04:00

Baby Girl turns 6 months old in a couple of days, which also happens to be Baby Mamma and Cornucopian Dad's 3rd wedding anniversary, so yeah for everyone! Since I can't seem to manage a proper blog (one that updates at least once a day), instead of writing anything witty or cute, I have decided to write about something near and dear to me . . . . . .gear!

So there's no particular order or ranking to the gear, but I tried to include as many helpful links as possible, maybe my helpfulness will lead to people leaving comments?!?.

Micralite Toro
What can I say, the various choices, possibilities, and budgets for strollers can be overwhelming. How much do you want to spend? How heavy is it? How maneuverable is it? What kind of accessories and colors does it come in? Will it fit in doorways? Will I be able to put it in my trunk, or do I need to upgrade to a Minivan now!?!

Of all the criteria for strollers, I think the one that gets neglected is, "What does Baby Girl want?" Is it possible that not all strollers are comfortable to every child? I can't say that Baby Girl went to fancy baby store and said, "Daddy, I like the Toro, because of it's clean design and its practical for mamma." Baby Girl did go try out this stroller and other ones that made the short list, and she didn't seem to fuss too much btwn the various choices.

The Toro is great, it's light, it's sturdy, and it's compact. It's got 12" air filled wheels in the back to hop those curbs, and eat those brick sidewalks. This stroller is smooth, I don't know if it's the wheels, the bearings, but its very effortless to push, and it's probably just a smooth of a ride/push as the baby jogger(see below). There aren't too many bells and whistles on this pram (no cup holders, telescoping handles, trays, etc.) There's a more than easy and effective brake for the stroller, multiple reclining positions, and great deal of ingenuity in how the stroller opens/closes and collapses. I think I remember reading that the Micralite was the love child of golf caddy company or people who designed them, hence the similar mechanism in opening/closing, etc.

This was a great buy for us for many reasons. I imagine it would have been a bit cheaper had it not been made in the UK and imported, but its still cheaper than some of it's counterparts, and comparable in price to others in the same range. It's definitely under 20lbs, it's compact, and dreamy to push. Baby mamma gets mad compliments from people about how cool our stroller is, and Baby Girl couldn't be any happier.

Graco Snap N Go
What's not to love about this, it's light, it's functional, and it's cheap! If people want to go out and buy a fancy bassinet stroller, that's great for them, but if you don't have a car, you're going to have to get a car seat so you might as well use the carseat as part of the stroller.

Baby mamma had no problems with this simplistic stroller. It even had plenty of undercarriage storage to help haul grocery, diaper bag, etc. The adjustable handle bar and cup holder are great too(if you're into such things). You can even lock of the front swivel wheels and go for a very lite jog on very smooth roads in sub-division (the joys of visiting the grandparents). Did I mention that we bought ours "gently used" on craigslist for cheap!

Red Castle Infant Carrier
If you haven't figured it out, I'm not one to play by the rules and trends, and like to be different. Baby Mamma says it because I'm and We're both first borns. Anyways, I don't know about you, but I'm sick of seeing Baby Bjorns. I'm surprised Baby Bjorn parents are not the swing demographic( ie, Nascar dad's, soccer mom's, etc.) in this year's election.

When I first saw this carrier, it made all the sense in the world. Waist strap? Why that makes perfectly good sense in carrying a load. Why would any parent subject themselves to carrying the weight of their child all in their back or shoulders? Every backpacker knows that the key to carrying a big pack is being able to distribute the weight to your waist or more specifically your hips. Shoulder straps are more about balancing the weight, and less about bearing the weight.

So back to the infant carrier, this one stood out, we liked the multiple positions that Baby Girl could transition into as she got older, and has enjoyed just about every position out there. Yes there's straps to adjust and it can look complicated, but all in all, they're all there for all the necessary adjustments to make things comfortable for the parent, and keep the child secure. Be leery of infant carriers that don't offer ways to adjust for differentpositions, body types, etc. Baby mamma is 4'11" and I'm 5'10" and we're both able to use this very comfortable.

Baby Jogger
I couldn't help but get a Baby Jogger, so I could go jogging/running with Baby Girl. Of course I couldn't justify getting a brand new one. So I found one on craigslist that got minimal use. Yes there had been some major design improvements than model I own, but it's still very functional, and most importantly it had 3 16" bicycle wheels. If you're going to be jogging/running, you want at the very least 16" wheels, 20's if you're going to be running 5 miles+.

Baby Jogger, known for making great jog strollers due to their very smooth push/roll and how straight the stroller goes even with just one hand on the handlebar. Don't settle for smaller wheels, or other brands that may look just as nice, but may not be as fun/easy to run with. Joggingstroller.com is a great resource for what works, and what's available, and has a great community of reviewers who run and like their strollers.

Aquarium
Not sure if Baby Girl would have ever fallen asleep without this one. You would think after 160 some odd nights of listening to the the same songs she would get sick of this, but she loves it(glad we got this at the baby shower without even having to register for it, thanks friends!). Baby Mamma and I would also perk up in glee during the evening when the aquarium would just magically be turned on. The verdict is still out if Baby Girl the fitful sleeper she is, turns it on inadvertently, or would wake up, and hit the button for the soothing glow of the aquarium and now familiar tunes to send her back to dreamland. Whatever the case may be, we like it, she likes it, and there's even a remote so that you can turn on the aquarium all stealth without the baby seeing you (we like making eye contact with Baby Girl, but sometimes that might lead to "I want to play, I want to eat, or everything else that's not appropriate for 3am"). Obviously this was a feature that was more useful when she didn't know how to turn it on herself :)

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring

2008-06-22T15:05:00.004-04:00

my apologies in not posting regularly or not regularly enough!

Spring, last year, this was a hectic time for Mamma and Daddy. We spent the latter parts of Winter and into Spring going to open houses and looking for a place that we could hang our hats and write all over the walls, with no fears of losing our security deposit. Going into Spring was exciting as the weather gave away, and snow was melting, and yes we finally found a place that we loved.

Spring was full of many firsts such as working with not so hard working real estate agent, borrowing large sums of money that we may or may not be able to pay back, hiring a moving company, and living in a new place that had a bathroom for Daddy and Mommy. Spring is also when the miracle of conception occurred too. Let's just say getting Mommy knocked up wasn't necessarily planned for Spring, but we didn't mind at all either :P

Although as dad's can be, Daddy began to be all concerned about how we're going to afford private school for you, all the cool toys that we never got, as well as how to avoid foreclosure, cuz babies aren't cheap, ya know? Spring was a time of much celebration, many answered prayers, and many blessings.

Summer, I wish I could say was full of great trips to the beach, and enjoying our new home. Daddy took a pay cut, at work, not because he's a bad worker, but more there was a "restructuring" of how people got paid for their work. Needless to say the income that Daddy was projecting to make for the year came to a crashing halt with the limit of not being able to make much more in the near future.

Thankfully the Summer was not overly oppressive, minus the heat waves that would come by. We entertained a few of Mommy and Daddy's friends where they officially could stay in the guest room, vs on the futon in the living room of our small apartment. We felt so grown up with our nice appliances and counter tops, as well as Mommy's interest in decorating and painting.

Summer was also a time mommy and daddy celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary, with a nice day trip just a ferry ride away. We also became equally nervous and excited as the summer was coming to a close, how we would soon be able to meet you, as well as begin to alert the world of your developing presence in mamma's body.

Fall brought on many new changes for Daddy and Mommy. Mommy was really getting into the thick of things at work, and was getting more familiar and comfortable with her writing job. Daddy on the other hand was experiencing various challenges with job(s). Daddy took on more responsibilities at the clinic, which required more mtgs, and less direct time with clients. Daddy also signed a contract to join a private practice. Also in haste and uncertainty with our financial situation, Daddy also accepted a job at a local ER, covering on call over night shifts for any emergencies.

Again Fall was a time of much change and excitement. Another season of fervent prayer, and blessings in securing 2 jobs to make up the difference in Daddy's pay cut, and to help out when you were a real person in our lives. Fall was also when we first got to see you inside of Mommy, and also when Mommy was becoming noticeably pregnant.

Winter was all about taking things in strides. Mamma was growing uncomfortable as well as had difficulty with the various adjustment to being tired, hungry, emotional, etc. (of course not in that or any order). Winter also brought on the holidays which was celebrated with Daddy's side of the family visiting with us for almost a week, all of which we just took in stride.

Winter was also was a time of adventures such as Mamma's commute from hell, as well as precarious winter bike commuting by Daddy. Daddy would be lying if we weren't full of anxiety and worries for the future of this family, but again we stayed in stride, and just took everything on day at a time. And of course, our most exciting adventure of all, your arrival.

And here we are, back to Spring again, the thawing of winter allowed us to take you out in the strollers through our neighborhood. At this point, Mamma and Daddy we're about to throw in the towel on the lack of sleep we were getting, but we turned the corner, you started sleeping more, your personality started to shine through, as a family we survived the back to back to back visits of all 3 sets of grandparents, and you were just our very own bundle of joy to love, caress, kiss, take care, and sing to.

while summer is officially here, we expect many more adventures, prayers, and many more blessings with our life spent with you this season, and for many more.

Just a Blur

2008-05-22T08:51:00.003-04:00

Its been about 4 weeks since my last post. You would think things were pretty boring at home, and daddy just forgot about you. Quite the contrary, for the first time I was overwhelmed with guilt because I was not going to be able to spend significant time with you. Of course as the adult I want to place the blame on you babygirl, but really it's partly my fault as well as the adjustment with you growing up. Let me explain.

In the last month, you have been quite the joy- facially animated, physically active, and just a sweet baby. Another big thing that's occurred in the last four weeks is the fact that mamma and daddy are sleeping a lot more these days, simply because you're sleeping a lot more. Another part of growing up is that you don't need to be consoled to go back to sleep anymore. Long gone are the days when daddy would rock you to sleep on the rocker, or the nights I would find songs to sing to you.

These days you're as consistent as Amtrak, not always on time, but we have a rough idea when you'll be going to your dreamworld, or alerting us with distinct cries that you're arriving back to an awakened reality. Mamma's putting you down around 7ish and you may or may not wake up within the next hour or so, just to let us know that your pacifier has fallen out or your music has stopped, and you want it back on. Typically after this, you'll wake up around in an hour's window btwn 1-2am, for a feeding and diaper change. After this you're usually asleep til 6-7:30am. If you're lucky, you're awake at 6-6:30am where you'll get propped away from the TV, but totally in view of daddy doing yoga. You particularly like when I'm doing moves like Sun Moon- lots of stretching and swinging of arms while breathing slowly.

Since you're going to bed at 7pm these days, that really limits my time with you these days. Sometimes I'll be home after 6pm, so then my time is pretty limited. Other times I'm off at my other office and don't get home well past your initial bedtime. Daddy tries to play ultimate one night a week, but by the time daddy get homes, you're sleeping peacefully. Wknds can be tough too, since daddy spend a considerable amount of Sundays at the office, and Sat can be full of church activities or catching up with other friends.

Am I turning into daddy's parents who were immigrants who had to work long and hard for everything daddy got? Not sure how to answer this question, but I do feel guilty that some days I may not get to spend significant amount of time with you for a stretch of 2-3 days. Of course as you continue to grow and get older, you won't require as much sleep, but that's many years away, and hopefully I will not have to continue to work and feel this way about my time with you for years.

The most important thing is that mamma is with you, she loves being home with you, and she's so grateful that she can be there with you. Of course if the roles were reversed daddy would have no problems with it either, but the reality is that daddy has to work a lot. I'm still figuring out this whole fathering thing, and hope that I will find and strike a better balance btwn work and play time with you.

I miss ya babygirl.

*You're more than just a blur in my eyes*

Updates to babygirl

2008-04-23T13:44:00.005-04:00

Babygirl, you're one day shy of being a dozen weeks old!

This past wknd being Patriots Day here in Boston, as well as Marathon Monday, daddy had a long wknd, and a long wknd it was spending with you. There was many moments of quality time all wknd long. I'm even beginning to think that you're even liking me a little bit more than the previous weeks. You're able to endure long periods of me holding you, and just hanging out with you, all this is evident by your smiles, new noises, and the sounds of premature laughs/giggles.

Some of the things you've enjoyed is daddy beatboxing, choreographing movements for various songs he sings, or general infant calisthenics to give those joints range of motion. You particularly like fist pumping, bilateral arm swings, and knee bends. We had a nice long walk in the arboretum, where I had you harnessed in the carrier, you slept the whole time, so I guess you liked it.

Mamma has been reading you kiddy books with pictures, while daddy continues to read you updates from Team Slipstream, Sports Illustrated articles, or anything else that daddy likes to read. Since there haven't been any vocal complaints with daddy's selection of readings, I will continue until you get bored and demand colored pictures about koalas, worms, or bears.

If you were wondering, there are less poopy diapers throughout the day, but that just means there's a 50/50 chance that we may have an explosive mess to clean up from time to time. Of course cloth diapering continues to be a big hit with your butt- no rash, and no complaints. Hopefully we'll have you in underoos in no time.

Yesterday daddy was able to get away and play some ultimate! I've been itching to play shortly after you were born. It was good to get out there, and scrimmage against a team that I was familiar with. Of course the team that I picked up was not so familiar to me, but it was good times. Like I told mamma, "expect cuts and blood," and of course I didn't disappoint. One left handed layout attempt at a pass that looked like it was for me, but wasn't, led to scrapes on the elbow, hip, and knee area, and minimal blood. As for first time playing and throwing since the fall, I felt pretty good. Had some good throws, no dropped passes, no stupid throws, and holstered the hucks. I also had one lucky D, where I jumped in front of my defender with my back towards the disc, and able to knock the flight of the disc away from my opponent, and negated the other teams attempt to score, yeah daddy!

Other than that, daddy's been able to run at least 2 times a week for the past 3 weeks, and that's been feeling great. Not feeling entirely fast, but hoping to get back some speed, lose some this slowly growing gut. I've also started doing yoga workouts from the DVR, pretty good way to start the morning while you're asleep of course. So now that you're older, daddy's been a bit more active, and even mamma's getting the itch to get away from strollering, and get back to rock climbing and what not.

You've been a joy so far, and you're doing some cool things these days, I hope that I can just keep up with you and catch them along the way!

large coinslot?

2008-04-17T22:33:00.003-04:00

You might be wondering what does coinslot have to do with being a dad? Well it has to do with everything in the end.

Let me first back up this truck for just a quick minute. If your babymamma and you used to fight about not putting the dishes away, after lil baby arrives, most likely babymamma and you will have a fight at some point for not putting away baby's clothes, toys, etc. If you're a dad like me who has developed all these neurotic and OCD like ways of accomplishing tasks/chores/activities, and you expect others to learn and fully embrace the "daddy way," you might be the same way when it comes to taking care of your baby.

If one has all these neurotic ways of doing things, of course any other way than the "daddy way" is always going to seem so silly, naive, or futile to me. For instance this babydaddy likes to fill the car up with gas when there's 1/4 tank left, why would one delay the inevitable any longer? Ask me how many times I've been caught with no gas in the tank? That's right, never, and I intend to keep it that way. Of course it would just blow my neurotic mind if babymamma would ever let the refueling process go until the warning light went on (Just to set the record, babymamma has always been diligent at keeping the car gassed up). The point is that I have accumulated a whole mess of ways of doing things, and of course this has translated to being a dad as well.

As I've mentioned before, we've been cloth diapering baby girl. Of course since the start of diapering, there have been a series of the "daddy way" of diapering. Such as, since babygirl's first days of life at the hospital, I just assumed that I wouldn't want some strange man undiapering me, an wiping my butt with a wet washcloth. So being the empathic human-being that I am, I would give babygirl a sign, I would give babygirl a warning wipe off to the side of her butt, just to let her know that daddy is about to plunge into the nooks and crannies of her girl parts for a cleaning with something wet. Of course this continued as we came home, and started using wipes (being the practical parents that babymamma and I are, we opted not to get a babywipe warmer) I would continue to give her the cold warning wipe to the side to let babygirl know how cold this wipe was going to be, and she could brace herself for the unpleasantness of someone wiping her bottom.

One of the biggest things that I've made sure in cloth diapering, was the position and the tautness of the diaper. As I've mentioned before I liken changing a diaper to a full service pitstop for a NASCAR driver, there's a need for organized speed, and crucial elements that need to be taken care of. From day one, I've always wanted a taut diaper for my babygirl, cuz that's what this daddy thought was best for babygirl. The thought of poopy pants, explosive poops that blow through diapers, or God forbid a poopy bed sheet in the middle of the night seemed like things I would not like to experience, and completely avoidable.

To counter my poopy nightmares, I figured the "daddy way" is going to be all about a taut diaper that will contain all runny fecal matter where it's suppose to be. Of course the reality of keeping poop in the diaper and diaper cover is tougher than all the precautionary steps one dad can take, but I like to think "daddy's way" is still pretty good. On the other hand, diapers that babymamma places on babygirl, have led to some uncontained explosions. Of course there is no scientific proof of this or any way of confirming this, but this is what I like to think. (not that I'm hating on my babymamma, I love her dearly!)

As babygirl is currently in the 90th percentile in length, positioning of the diaper is important. I understand that sometimes babygirl is fussin' during a change, or that babymamma's tired, but sometimes babygirl's diaper is just sagging like a straight up thug when I go to change her. Of course babymamma would say that this occurs because babygirl is squirmy, active, and cuz the shear amount of pee and poop in the diaper has weighed down the diaper. I like to think "daddy's way" of proper positioning and tautness would have avoided such things.

Now bringing it back to coinslot here. Not sure if babygirl's is just long or large(however you want to look at it) due to her 90th percentile in length but, the "daddy way" is all about covering every bit of coinslot when he's diapering. This may mean that our babygirl looks like the Steve Urkel of babies, with her diaper hiked up way high, but when I go to change that poopy diaper, ya know what, all that runny poop is where it's suppose to be- all up in the coinslot, and in the diaper.

Long story short, or at this point, to make an already long story from getting any longer, the "daddy way" of diapering is: 1) Making sure that babygir's diaper is covering all of her coinslot 2) Taut enough around the waist to prevent any sagging 3) Covering every bit of cloth with the diaper cover to prevent any leaks. Of course this being the "daddy way," it's not babymamma's way all the time, and of course this become a point of contention. Ain't no blows being traded, nor at this point I wouldn't even call them fights, but it's one of those things when I'm changing a diaper, I shake my head and think, this is definitely not the "daddy way."

And for this reason, I may have in the past said something to babymamma about diapering the "daddy way" and then a verbal exchange would ensue. Which of course is why I like to warn all the dad's to be, whatever that it is that allows for unpleasant discussions to occur at loud or low volumes, those patterns and themes of why those happen will only be carried into when this baby arrives. Sure it's all sweet and sugar plums to have your own progeny in the flesh living at your place, but the same relationship struggles just mutate into baby related things.

Here's to all the dad's to be, good luck!

9.5 weeks going on 13 years old

2008-04-07T15:31:00.015-04:00

So Wed with daddy #4 went a bit better baby. You and I went to my friend's house who recently gave birth to a little girl just like you, except she had a little peanut head and generally just a bigger baby than she was. Daddy's friend also had a 3 y/o son who liked to talk and talk and talk. I think you weren't used to all this extra noise. On top of that daddy's friend also had her mother there, and she just kind of liked to talk and had something to say about everything.

You didn't embarrass Daddy too much, other than you did go into a mild crying fit, but luckily it didn't take too much to console you and get you napping in a swing. If it's any consolation, Daddy also wanted to cry since he wasn't used to so much talking from a little boy, all he wanted to talk about was how the pinwheel went around and around.

So I don't think you hate me as much as you did last week. Although when I hold you with our faces facing each other, you still fuss and cry. You don't like to be cradled by me. Basically I have to just face you outward, so you can just be ignorant about who's really holding you, I guess basically if it's not Mamma, you're unhappy, and you'll let people know about it.

You were able to eat/drink better this week, since my newly discovered trick of wrapping up your bottle in the burp cloth. Who knows why you'll only take a bottle like this for me, but when Mamma offers you a bottle, it's all good. Maybe only seeing a clear nipple, and having the bottle hidden away is sort of like Mamma's boobs?!? Still trying to figure it out baby. So I'm not feeling the hate as much as I did last week, but Daddy still loves you.

Looks like the weather is going to be nice on my last wed with you. Of course the new babysitter will also be checking in with us but perhaps we can do some fun things like get on the T, and walk around, get lost, and explore. :)

Happy Baby

Baby and the Boy who likes to talk

2 Months Going on Sixteen. . .

2008-03-27T09:05:00.002-04:00

Is it possible that baby girl hates me already? Yesterday was "Wed with Daddy #3." Wed #2 was a wash, literally. The weather was rainy, and cold, so we got stuck indoors. Needless to say there weren't too many photo opportunities. All in all it went well.

This past week, baby girl has been a terror with me. It may or may not have anything to do with serving her a bottle with maybe a bit too warm mamma's milk which may or may not have burned her mouth. Even before this hasty hot feed, baby girl was not wanting to be consoled by me, or better yet I was not able to give her a sense of security and calm like mamma.

It's been difficult these days since her tear ducts are in full working order. Those big teary eyes eventually lead to big tear drops. It breaks my heart each time I see her cry, knowing that I am unable to really help her, or she doesn't want my help. The esteem of being a father has been an all time these days with baby girl not even like making eye contact with me nor does she like to be held by me. She prefers non face to face type of hold- like over the shoulder, where she looks towards my back, or she prefers to be held so that she can look out and avoid having an engaging moment with pappa. Mamma on the other hand can just snug her really tight up to her face when she's crying and instantly she's laughing and smiling.

I already feel guilty about working so much and not being able to spend as much time as I would like with my baby girl, but there was a time when I could console her instantly, there was a time when we could hang out. Theses days I'm begining to think she already hates me.

Yesterday, Wed #3, baby girl screamed and cried at the top of her little lungs, get all red in the face, pump her fists in rage, and then after some prolonged time she would get exhausted and pass out for about an hour. On top of all this, she refused all pacifiers, as well as milk. We were at an all time low for diaper changes due to lack of fluids. What's a dad to do? Eventually daddy got smart and wrapped up the bottle in a burp cloth, so that there was this new magical nipple thing that had milk in it, instead of this bottle that scared her or made her upset. I've yet to read in any book, that there may be a time when you have to hide the physical presence of a bottle cuz it doesn't look like mamma's boobs.

So that's the story, not a pretty one, not a fun one, but it's been rough. All in all this is my baby, I don't hate her, nor am I angry, I'm just wondering, where's da love?

At least this morning was a nice moment with her, smiles, laughs and a successful feeding via covered bottle. Each day is a new day, and hopefully each week is better than the one before.

Happy 8 weeks old, baby girl!

Can't Stop Til You Get Enough!

2008-03-16T22:31:00.004-04:00

Caffeine, ". . .is arguably the most robust form of drug self-administration known to man." It is this widely available drug that is keeping me from falling over sideways while riding my bike, or falling asleep on my clients.

After 4 weeks of sleeping for approx 100-120 minutes and then waking up for 5-40 mins, and then sleeping for 100-120 minutes, and repeating this 4 times a night, my body is spent.

Babymamma is not not snoring anymore and waking me up every night, nor do I have sleep apnea. The sleep deprivation that I've gone through the last month has been hitting me hard.

I've always been a 1 cup (ok it's a large 16oz mug) of green tea kind of guy during the work days. I wouldn't say I was addicted to caffeine, but I just enjoyed the slow release of caffeine that was laced into my day. On mornings of emergency, I'll admit I would drink that awful black sludge at work with a packet of hot chocolate to make it tolerable (poor man's cafe mocha).

These past 2-3 weeks have been 160z green tea in the morning, and another "cup" in the afternoon around 2pm. On my early morning meetings day which only happen once a month, I treat myself to 160z Peet's Coffee, splash of milk, and 1 sweet and low. On really tired days when I'm dragging and not feeling the tea, I'll get a sugar free Red Bull and call it a day, I'm good til the evening. Typically when I've drank Red Bull, I would be wired and get the caffeine shakes, and pee every 15mins. These days the afternoon Red Bull is nothing but a smooth delivery of caffeine with no real ill effects like the shakes, caffeine headaches, nor does "it give me wings," I guess this only affirms how tired I am on any given afternoon.

While Red Bull is not something I like to indulge in daily, nor does baby want me to spend all her college money on a $2 can of Caffeine, frugal daddy decided to try(or plan to try) some other caffeinated beverages. Mountain Dew is so something I OD'ed on in high school, so I don't wish to regress to liquid yellow. So it's on to fancy new products like:

1. Propel Invigorating Water: Good flavor, 2omg of the big C, and it's a non-carbonated beverage. While I found the caffeine delivery to be fast and sudden, it did give me a quick jolt, and got the shakes. Als,o since I was drinking water+diuretic (caffeine) I was heavily hydrated and thought I was going to wet my pants today like my baby.

2. Owater infused w/caffeine: Another non carbonated water drink with flavor and caffeine. This is probably the next product I'll sample in the next month.

3. Pimp Juice: I hope in the near future I'll get my hands on "the #1 hip hop energy drink." As they say, "its hard out here for pimp," and if it works for Nellly, it can work for this daddy.

The moral of this story is that this dad is tired, and despite catching z's when he can, regardless of how many hours of sleep I actually get, I can't seem to catch up on the sleep that I've lost. Sometimes I think this is really just the beginning of a lifetime of just being tired and having stank coffee breadth for the rest of my baby's 18 years of life.

Save a dad and pick up some caffeine for him in any form that's necessary.

Weds with Daddy

2008-03-12T22:48:00.002-04:00

Mamma is away interning today. It's a sweet deal, she get to go into the office 1 day a week, and then the other day she gets to work from home. While she's away, for the next 5 weds, I've decided to hang out with you you, who knows who's going to watch in a month or so, but for now, you're all mine.

Morning went well, mamma fed you and you were out. Which led me to hold you while mamma rediscovered morning routines that involve leaving the house before noon. While you were fast asleep, I got to catch up on some headlines on ESPN.

After your little nap, you tried out a silicone nippled bottle for the first time, what do you think? My guess that it was weird, but it ain't like daddy's got anything better to offer you, so you ate and that was that. I imagine that you missed your mamma's presence because you were just cryin' and crying for no reason. I could have done Cirque du Soleil tricks you still would have thought I was lame. Finally I thought about going back to basics, and tied you to my back. It kept you happy for 20 mins or so, and then that got kind of got boring, and you let me know. At least while you were on my back, I got a start on washing your diapers, cuz ya know what, you only had 2 clean diapers this AM, :(

Somehow, you did manage to nap a bit, and I got to catch up on some news and what not. Somehow I had all these ideas of getting things done, scanning old photos, scrubbing the floors,, little did I know. After another bottle feeding, I got you all dressed up for a walk down the street. Daddy needed to go out, and so as a responsible adult, you came along via stroller. It was raining, but it wasn't too cold.

Not sure if you know this baby, but we live close to some pretty rough looking places. We walked by an old gas station, a bar, oil changing place, several car repair garages, including a cab repair garage, needless to say, daddy pushing the snap n go, was probably quite the sight today. We didn't see no other babies today, or parents out with their kids. Nor did we go to baby friendly places like Babies R Us, or the library. We walked straight to Advance Auto Parts. Daddy had to go buy oil and oil filter so he can change the oil this week. If you were only awake, you would have seen a young Ludacris look alike giving daddy the eye as we backed into the store, stroller and all. I'm sure he wasn't giving us the eye due to the single digit sized rims on the stroller, but more so that he ain't never seen an asian brotha pushing his baby girl into Advance Auto. We got our stuff and we were on our way. Next stop the bank.

We pull up to the ATM, and woman at the ATM was all about verbalizing and commenting on her own life. It's one thing baby when you or I comment on what others are doing, but this woman was all about, "nuh uh, they must be crazy that I'm going to take out that much money. . . . . forget this, they must be crazy." Daddy deposited a check and we took the long way back home. It was still raining a bit, and we got a nice walk in. You continued to sleep despite all the cracks and uneveness on these city sidewalks, but you just kept on sleeping.

Coming back home was good, you continued to sleep a bit, and then you got to eat again. After eating from the bottle once again, there was no stopping the wailing. Reggae wouldn't even console you, bouncing on the yoga ball was of no use, all sorts of different hold and positions were useless too. I think you were just crying out for mamma, who was beyond crying distance for the first time in your life. Needless to say daddy had a rough time trying to find ways to console you. Finally you just fell asleep in my arms. Due to the lack of napping this afternoon, you just slept and slept. Which allowed for daddy to finally take a nap too.

Then mamma came home and took over parental duties, including expelling warm milk straight from the boob. Of course you were all calm and well behaved for her. You even made funny faces and smiled with mamma tonight. Maybe next week, we'll get to smile together :)

What Kind of Dad am I?

2008-03-03T15:05:00.003-05:00

While everyday pop psychology says that I"ll be a father just like my own father, or I'll try to do the polar opposite of what my father was like. Of course as a young idealistic dad, who's insightful and in-tune with himself (narcissistic?!?), I like to think I'll be able to bridge the shortcomings of my father and blend my own thoughts of what a 21st century father should be like. Of course this streaming thought of who I am was sparked by this article in the Globe today, The Parent Trap.

Where do my conventions and scripts for 21st century daddy-ing come from? Are there good models out there? I thought I would share a quick and not thoroughly researched (no google searches or in depth interviewing, and more whatever comes to mind first).

Here's what my mom sent to me before baby was even born.
1. Be Prepared, is entertaining, and informative in a basic and practical way, but is this all that entails in being a father. Is this all that pop culture expects from fathers these days? Is this the type of father I want to be. Don't get me wrong it's a great gift and fun book to flip through, but do I want to pimp this out to future dad's?

2. Expectant Father, reads more like one man's desire to add some substance to the literary "How to's" of being a dad. It's lengthy like it's most "How to be a mom" books, but again it's dry, there's forced humor that's plain, "mad corny, yo!" I can't say this book encourages or challenges me to be a cool dad.

3. Alternadad, how cool would it have been if my mom sent me this book. It's been a book that's been received with mixed reviews, from people who think it's a great portrayal of Generation X'ers as parents, to people who probably think it's forced and narrowly focused.

As the Globe article states, there are more ideas of what families are like on TV, but are these portrayals accurate? The article chooses to focus on Black families, and the portrayals of Black dads. Just like all things with the media, where my Asians at? I've noticed a proliferation of Asian actresses these days, but what about the Asian dudes out there? What about Asian families? It's not that difficult for writers to stay within conventions of ethnic stereotypes and give us an Asian dad who's a doctor or lawyer, or good at math. Or similarly, it wouldn't be that difficult to write a about an Asian dad who's working an office, or blue collar job. Maybe in my daughter's generation of writers and media will there be something more than white and black families.

The King of Queens portrays a blue collar husband than dad, but then again how many times have I've really watched this show. Homer Simpson is a highly fictional character that has moments of great fathering moments, but I can do better than someone in 2-D right? I'll have to admit I can only wish I was as cool as the Escalade driving Mac in the Bernie Mac Show. I'll have to say there are some great learning moments because we see Bernie make mistakes, and overreact, and correct them in a 30min episode, but I'm left feeling that what I just saw could be realistic in a similar situation with my daughter. When I watch Will Smith play Chris Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness, I see a man who cares, and would go to great lengths to protect and pursue the very best for his only son. In the end can I really emulate a man who was single dad raising a son in a shelter?

While I enjoy reading Steve's blog on being a dad, it's simply a blog that offer glimpses of what his experiences are, or more his observations on what living with his daughter is like. I can't say it challenges me in any way, and that's no knock on Steve, but if I'm truly to be a cool, hip, dad who's able to be a breadwinner, have a great relationship with his daughter, and still be the husband that my wife wants to sleep with every night, who will be my guide? Is this even possible or simply idealistic?

I like to think I can be a better dad than Lester in American Beauty, and I think I can be as cadid as Mac McGruff in Juno. Maybe I"ll be a successful dad and family man like John Edwards, he seems to have done a good job in raising his daughter. I guess time will only tell if the various depictions of fatherhood and dads help me more than hurt me. Perhaps it's just inevitable that I"ll just be like my dad, which in the end isn't he worse thing, cuz I'm content with being me.

What are people's thoughts? Are there great models for fatherhood out there, for a generation of 21st century kids we're parents to? Maybe there's a better blog out there someone can point me to?

Random Hysterics

2008-03-02T04:17:00.002-05:00

There will be a time when your child may just cry cry cry, and babymamma will pass off the child to you due to being frustrated, annoyed, or simply cuz everyone needs to suffer when a baby is wailing at the top of their little lungs.

Our baby is a pretty good kid, but when she cries, sometimes she just wants to cry it out for a a period of time. It doesn't have to do with the clothes she's wearing, the barometric pressure, whether she's tired or hungry, or even a wet diaper. Swaddle or no swaddle, distracting noises or lovely lullabies, there's nothing that will console or pacify that child.

The only thing that I can think of is the prolonged exposure to new people. Perhaps it's the germs (can't be, everyone Purell's before they touch her), perhaps it's something else. All I can think of is that it must be an overstimulation of senses or attention. Why she doesn't start to cry when she's in the presence of overstimulation is beyond me. Her crying fits always seems to happen when we're trying to put her down to bed, so we can go to bed, but again her fits only occur on days when many people have handled her, or she's been around others for a long period of time other than her parents.

I can only imagine perhaps at the end of the day, she reviews her day and then suddenly realizes all the scary people(non-biological parents) have touched her, held her, or spoke to her in baby talk, etc. Perhaps it's this sudden recall of faces and scents or something freaks out my baby and causes her to cry, cry cry.

One month and counting

2008-02-29T04:36:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, or exactly 4 weeks ago baby,you were born. I hope this milestone in your life is a good one for ya. In terms of developmental milestones, you're visually tracking things, you're still obsessed with light fixtures, and if needed, you can scream and cry while using the full capacity of your little lungs. You can also shed tears after prolonged crying :( Just recently you can't seem to take your eyes of mamma, but I guess that's to be expected since you hang out with her so much (I'm secretly jealous).

You're making a range of noises, sometimes like a baby Wookiee, to just grunts of a young girl who knows karate. Sometimes I make a range of noises from scatting to random undulating noises, and my all time favorite, pit noises from a Nascar pitstop (this is truly what daddy thinks when he's changing your diaper at night. Undoing those tiny snaps on your sleeper and onesie, taking off the diaper cover, undoing snappi fastener, put aside dirty diaper with one hand, while the other hand keeps both legs secured and butt off the changing pad, secure proper placement of new diaper, ensure proper and secure fit of snappi fastener, but this point baby you might be squirming, and post cold baby wipe, you're about to start crying. We're in the home stretch here, I may sometimes make tire changing noises while I'm putting on your diaper cover, sometimes fastening the sides together could be a challenge if you're crying, squirming or both. Othertimes the noises seem to distract you, OK, I'll admit it, it's fun to make your own sound effects. If you're really crying mom's awake, quite possible the neighbors are awake, so there's a quick hand off to top you off with mamma's milk., so we can get you back to sleepyland. Haven't timed myself yet, but perhaps one of these days mamma will catch this all on tape.)

Speaking of sounds, I've expanded your musical knowledge by singing you Rockabies from the Beatles, Smashing Pumpkins, the Cure, Led Zepplin, etc. You seem to really like D'yer Mak'er. There's never a dull moment when you hang out with daddy, whether it's reading you the news, magazine articles, giving you the play by play of a bball game on tv, etc.

Back to milestones, baby, you now have a belly button, you're little stump and dried up and fallen off. Mamma discarded it, she had no desire to save it, so blame her. It's hard to say if it's going to be an innie or an outie, but it ain't like I'm going to be buying you navel shirts anytime soon, so no need to get all self conscious about it. Now that the stump is dry, you've been enjoying baths, cuz you've grown up into a real bath tub, so yeah!

The cutest thing you do is still when you're sleeping- the range of expressions, half smiles, more noises, and arm/hand placement is adorable. Some of my favorite arm positions, are the both arms above your head like you're doing the wave, the thinker-one fist tucked underneath your chin, and I think it's cute when you soothe yourself with a finger, side of your hand or your fist.

It's been a great 4 weeks, a bit sleep deprived, and becoming more dependent on caffeine, but I'm loving every moment with you.

Back in the day. . .

2008-02-27T10:03:00.004-05:00

Baby, it's been awhile since I've written to you. I just wanted to re-live pappa's glory days. Now daddy was no all state quarterback, or track star, instead he chose obscure sports so that he had a fighting chance to participate and be active.

In H.S. pappa played water polo for 4 years, he was also on the state championship team his senior year. He also swam on the swim team his freshmen year. In College, for some reason he decided to walk on to the swim team, and devote 4 years of his life and many holidays swimming back and forth in a pool. I also discovered ultimate frisbee in college and that was more dynamic than swimming was.

After College I continued to play ultimate frisbee 3 out of 4 seasons each year, started commuting by bike to work, took up rock climbing for a bit, and even trained and participated in 2 sprint triathlons. Of course this is all the major activities, this doesn't include stretching daily that I started in college, occasional to regular running, lifting weights, backpacking/hiking, etc.

Daddy is a man who likes to stay active, sitting at work, being stagnant is not enjoyable, he can feel his muscles going into atrophy from lack of stimulating activity.

Since your arrival, daddy has been pretty inactive. Even couple of months before you arrived, daddy had to stop running due to his first serious knee injury. While stretching, strength based work outs, and commuting by bike is great, he's really missed running in the cold winter mornings, missed going skiing/snowboarding, and is itching to play ultimate frisbee. While all the inactivity you would think daddy blew up like a blimp, but actually the whole birthing process, not sleeping, always running, and hanging out with you has led to actual weight loss, but after 2 straight weeks of nicely cooked meals by your grandma's, daddy's weight is back to normal.

While all the inactivity drives him crazy, it really is a joy to just spend an hour with you in the morning, instead of going out for a run. How daddy will juggle this as you continue to get older is TBD. I did calculate on my bike ride, when you're in your teens, it's possible that we can play on the same ultimate team, boy do I look fwd to that. Until then, I'm loving every non activity related minute and hours that spend with you. Let's just hope daddy doesn't have to start walking to work each day and only eating subway, like Jared.

Reflections on Love

2008-02-23T22:52:00.003-05:00

As I have become a father, there have been many new things I’ve learned and many stories about my daughter that I can share. There have been two defining moments in my life that have made me learn new things about my Father. Many people have said the marriage union btwn a man and a woman is as close of an example of the love that our Father has for us. A partner who does not grow tired of waiting, loving, or supporting the other. This unconditional love is reflective of God’s love. Marriage has helped me to understand the unwavering devotion that God has for us, as well as how important Jesus’ grace is to us as Christians.

Another defining moment was the birth of my daughter. Everyday I look fwd to when I can spend time with her. More importantly I know that I get to spend as much time with her really late at night, or really early in the morning, when I wake up to change her diaper, or helping her go back to sleep after a feeding. Those moments, in the quietness of when the world is asleep, my daughter and I are awake, hanging out. Often times we sit in the rocking chair, sometimes I’m too tired to even hold her, but other times I sit and sing for my daughter. In singing sometimes she falls asleep or tries to stay awake to hear the melodies of hymns or church songs.

I’ve realized that only a parent who loves their child would wake up every 2-3 hours to sing to their child for 20mins to fall back asleep. Sometimes I think about the future when my daughter will cause me some pain or worry, but my love for her will never change. There may be moments in life when my daughter will claim to hate me, but my love will remain the same. I’ve also realized that regardless of how much my daughter says “I love you,” it will never equal the love that I have for my daughter.

How is it that I can love someone that I don’t even know, or someone who can’t express their love for me. It goes beyond logical reasoning that I would have utmost devotion to someone that may or may not love me back to the same degree. It is these thoughts that have made me realize and understand the true and exact love that my parents had and have for me when I was a child and as an adult. It is also how I’ve continued to learn about how God loves me.

Like my daughter, it is unlikely that my love for God will equal the love that God has extended to me. God sent his only son to live and die for me. God looks fwd to the time we spend with him. God’s love and grace for us only becomes more tangible to me as I begun to spend time with my daughter. The biggest difference as it says in Jeremiah 1:5 is, God knows us even before we’re born. Even though my daughter may know my voice, she doesn’t know me, and I don’t know her. The love I have for my daughter a complete stranger, who has lived with me for 2 weeks runs deep, how much deeper does the love of our Father run if he knew us before we were even born, before we began to pray, before we devoted our lives to him? The amount of love and grace that God extends to us becomes incomprehensible to human thought.

What a great and loving father we have in Heaven. What a delight it is for God to hear us sing and talk to him. What a delight it is for God to see his children in his house today. The idea of God’s unwavering and never ending love is basic, but also very complex. It has taken many life changing events for me to further understand this love. It is my hope that God will reveal the depth of his love to us in a very personal way before we spend an eternity in heaven learning more about God’s love.

Technique

2008-02-09T23:18:00.001-05:00

The intricacies of fatherhood is comprised of many things, unfortunately being a dad for a week has not enlightened me to too many of the secrets at this time. But I will share these various techniques that has made me a better father to my daughter.

1. Swaddling- It's important to learn how to swaddle so that the baby feels safe and secure, in a tight fashion, just like when they lived inside of mamma. Sometimes baby get startled by their own involuntary movements. Like when I'm dreaming about playing ultimate, I may extend my arm out for a bid, and hit my wife, but that's another story. Not sure what babies are dreaming about, but they squirm just as much as we do in our sleep, except it's weird for them. When things are weird, babies tend to freak out, and then start crying. If a baby starts crying before they wet or poop in their diaper, or before a scheduled feeding time, this is going to make any dad or mom unhappy in the middle of the night. So it's best to swaddle, so how do you do it?

Take blanket, (preferably cotton or fleece like material, no silk or something slippery like) and lay it on a flat surface, but lay it down with a corner pointed at your crotch, you don't want one of the sides of the blanket in front of a crotch. The corner in front and opposite of your crotch should be folded down about into the center of the blanket about 6 inches or so, basically not quite halfway into the blanket and more 1/3 to 1/4. Since I couldn't find and visuals, let's repeat here. At this point, the 4 cornered rectangular blanket will not only have 3 corners and the top corner will be folded into itself to have a flat edge.

On this fold (flat edge) is where you'll place your baby's head (face up, of course). You'll have to experiment if that means the whole head, half head, or base of the head, etc.

Now you take the left corner for your righties and fold it over the front of thebaby's body. There should be enough blanket that it will go across the front of the baby's body and then still have enough material to tuck it under the baby's body. If there's too much slack, just reposition the baby and start all over. If your baby is young or tends to scratch at its face, it may be more beneficial to have it's right are down by the baby's side before folding the left corner over the baby's body. If your baby likes to suck it's fist or fingers, and you don't mind, then place both of its hands near its face when swaddling.

Next you take the lower corner of the blanket (one closest to crotch) and bring that up towards the baby's left shoulder and tuck that corner underneath the shoulder. The important thing to remember is that both feet are secured and will not poke out if it kicks or squirms. So if this isn't possible, you may have to start all over and reposition in a fashion that you have enough blanket below the baby's feet.

Rounding third, heading for home now, you take the final corner on the right hand side and bring that over the baby's body, making sure it's snug, and securing the the previous folds from slipping out, and tucking the excess material underneath the baby's body. Also, you'll want arm placement consistency here, either at its side or near the face. Again it's important that the feet are secured in this fold. The baby's own weight will keep the baby from un-doing all your hard work.

One of the most common mistake is to loosely swaddle which is a waste of time, because the baby will eventual fun in a short amount of time. Of course no swaddle is impervious to getting loose, but the more snug it is, the better the swaddle, and longer the baby and you may get to sleep. Also another common problem is the baby's ability to kick through the swaddle, so it's important to have the folds that go across the leg to be snug and have enough blanket to keep them secure.

2. Cloth Diapering/disposable diaper changing- the key here men is speed. Isn't all things measured by how fast we do things? Like most things, we don't want to fall into "haste makes waste." The trick is to be Navy Seal like, fast and efficient. Also like the military you want to be prepared for the battle before you're wrist deep in doo doo. So like a good surgeon or NASCAR pit crew, you'll want to lay out all the things you will need before you take off a diaper.
Things one will need:

1. Appropriate changing surface
2. anti-bacterial gel
3. new diaper
4. moist wash cloth/baby wipes
5. place to dispose diaper
6. post diaper changing plan
7. misc items

First you'll need to find an appropriate changing surface, whether it's a changing pad on the floor, changing table, in the crib, etc.

Next you'll want to practice good hygiene as you'll be in contact with baby's delicate genitalia, so slather on that anti bacterial gel, or wash your hands with soap.

New diaper-whether cloth or disposable, you'll want to have a steady supply of them. Before even removing the diaper, you'll want to have new one laid out-flat, with all the adhesives ready to stick, etc. If you're cloth diapering, it's all the same, except you'll also want the option for a new cover in case it's stained or wet.

Undo the dirty diaper, if it's just pee, great, cuz it's going to be easy breezy. If it's poo, take the clean part of the diaper and wipe down (front to back) the poop. More poop in the diaper less chance that it'll get on your hands and more efficient use of diaper wipes or wash cloth.

Once baby's been wiped with the diaper, grab both or one leg of the baby, kind of like your going to hog tie a calf, and raise baby's butt of the diaper. Pull dirty diaper away, and set aside for disposal. While holding onto the baby's legs, and butt off the changing surface, take baby wifes/moist cloth and wipe down baby front to back. Don't want to go back to front and have poop or debris near baby's genitalia.

Now that baby is poop free and clean, take new diaper and slide it underneath the baby. Lower baby's butt on diaper and reposition if necessary. Now if this is a newborn and the poop is that paste like black stuff, you'll want to put some vaseline on the diaper, so that you can smear the vaseline on the baby's butt, genitalia, legs, etc. This is to prevent that black stuff from getting caked on the skin and easier clean up. Now close up the diaper and you're all set.

Now we're back to swaddling the baby if that's the post diaper change plan or hand of clean diapered baby to someone, or whatever. If baby is diapered, now you go back to disposing of the dirty diaper, and whatever clean up.

If you're cloth diapering, I've found that the flying angel wing technique good, also using the snappi fasteners has also made cloth diapering neater, in that there hasn't been any leaks of any kinds.

3. Consoling- Dads need to have a good repertoire of ways to console a crying baby or fussy baby. When mamma is frustrated or too tired to deal with crying baby, guess who's on deck to help out- you are. So have a good list of things that your baby is going to like including, singing, dancing, reading, rocking in the glider, multiple ways to hold/position the baby, different music (preferably one with a good distinct beat like reggae or something), changing diapers, swaddling, going for a walk, bouncing seats, swings, etc.

I'm sure there are many more techniques out there that dads need, but these are my top 3 for the moment.

Home, Sweet, Home

2008-02-06T22:20:00.000-05:00

Baby, I forgot to mention that we did give you a cool name, but for privacy purposes, you'll continue to be referred to as Baby.

It's been nearly 30ish hours since mamma and I brought you home. I'll have to say waiting for the pediatrician to give you the final look over physical and critique mamma on correct alignment of teet to your mouth was excruciatingly long. Probably more than the previous 4 days with you, I was overcome with dread and fear the day we left the hospital. Not that the we left you in the care of nurses the whole time, or you slept in the nursery every night. Mamma and I hae been in action, playing the role of caretakers to ya, but something about leaving the safe confines of the fancy hospital made it oh so real, and scary.

Mamma had some good insights, it's going to be tough not having a new nurse every 8-12 hours who comes and tells us how you cute you are, and how superficially we feel proud of you, but really those surface level parental ego boosters only solidify, yes how cute you are, but also how could we not be good parents to you.

So while it's been quiet here at home, mamma and I have been busy, getting the cloth diaper system working, as well as just getting all the last minute things ready for mamma and your need. Most importantly I worry that mamma is eating enough and eating healthy foods. As well as resting enough to recuperate from her surgery.

I dread going back to work, realizing that, yes each day is a new day, and each day for you is a milestone that we will not be able to re-visit. So the thought of going into work even for a couple of hours seems like I may be missing so much, just imagine in a couple of months when there's walking and talking involved. Even since you've come home, you've been adjusting well to just mamma and I, and our condo.

You appear to be sleeping more that mamma's milk is freely flowing, and we hope that you get back to your birth weight. You also seem to need less soothing- I haven't had to sing you a song, nor use the pacifier. In the end you really are growing up each day, and you're doing it all by yourself. That alone seems so amazing and bring tears to my eyes, knowing that this is only the beginning of many sentimental moments in our lifetime together.

Going back to you Baby, you seem to like your makeshift bassinet in the pack and play, you also seem to like the lighting in our house, and generally the ceiling is of particular interest to you. You also like it when mamma reads you books, and you don't even seem to mind diaper changes anymore. Like I said, you're growing up so nicely, and it's almost happening too fast for this dad.

Things they don't tell you to pack

2008-02-04T20:42:00.000-05:00

So dad's, your babymamma is going to get all psycho about packing a suitcase of things they may or may not need when they go to the hospital to delivery. Just remind them all they really need is some good slippers, and some comfy clothes to wear out of the hospital.

Here are some things that the books don't tell you to bring.
1. Toilet paper- yes you would assume that "fancy hospital" that's well endowed research and teaching facility would be able the cover your ass and there's, but when it comes to good ol TP, let's just say they're using the single ply, melts in your hands if you have sweaty palm type of TP. To avoid bloody ass, I suggest bringing a roll or two of the good stuff.

2. Dad's dress in layers, the HVAC systems in large buildings are not to be trusted. A hoody, comfy pants, a nice hat, bandanna, headband, vest, bring it all. You won't regret it.

3. Mamma will be supplied her own drinking mug, but not daddy. She will also be supplied with food at no charge, but not daddy. So bring your own nalgene and a mug for coffee or tea. Save a paper cup and bring a reusable mug.

4. Don't even bother to bring books, cuz one doesn't really have the attention span to read post delivery. Although if there's no contractions and you're laid up in the hospital with the wife, bring a book, bring your laptop (hopefully there's wifi), bring some dvd's and chillax while you've taken the day off from work.

5. chapstick, again the HVAC can be bad, which means the humidity can be all screwy which mean chapped lips, parched mouths in the AM, and dry nasal passages. small humidifier could be nice for the really ambitious.

6. Electronic gadgets and their chargers -MP3 player, digital camera, cellphones, bluetooth headsets, PSP, etc.

7. As for things for the baby, maybe their own newborn hat instead of standard hospital issued hat. Although most of the standard hospital stuff is great cuz there's an abundance of it, it's free, and you don't have to wash it.

8. Lastly, Bring your A game for support, empathy, and advocating in the best interest of a happy babymamma, and for many hero pts for you.

The rest of the story

2008-02-04T20:01:00.001-05:00

Well my last post was on 01.31.08 at 11am. gosh hard to imagine all the moments and stories that occurred that day but here's the quick scoop.

As already mentioned, pitocin and epidural was on board, things were progressing. Midwife really worked with mamma to let her be in control of things, limit "lady land" exams and just let nature do what it knows best.

Well around 3pm it was determined the cervix was fully effaced and fully dilated to 10cm. Midwife continued to let mamma be in control of things and see if contractions would continue to get stronger. I believe sometime in the afternoon mamma was given more meds to decrease the back labor pains she was experiencing.

By 6pm, it was determined, lets start pushing. So mamma opened wide, and began to bear down, grunt and push, and boy she was pushing. The nurse was impressed with her strength as well as the midwife, but there was no crowning.

Baby, you must have been very happy and warm in the womb. Ya you were a week late, but also you had no intentions of really coming out despite pooping up in mamma, and risking great infections since all that water broke.

After 2 hours of hard pushing, it was determined that mamma had to consider options. Mamma determined to go with vacuum assisted delivery. So the important white MD's came in. Yamaka doctor was important white dude #1, and went in for the reach to see if there was any movement in the head during a push to determine if vacuum would work. Yamaka doc said it ain't moving and it ain't going to work. At this point, mamma also became violently ill while puking up lots of fluids- orange gatorade, water, etc. At that point her temp was 108 degrees, which basically meant she could have a fever due to an infection or something, which also meant baby could be at risk.

So at that point, mamma and White MD's decided C-section was the way. Mamma was rolled out to the OR, while I got to wear full scrubs and wait in the OR hallway like I was in trouble with the Principal. At that point baby, my head was flooded with thoughts of what you would look like, if there would be any complications with mamma getting her stomach cut open, etc. etc. It was all to surreal.

Finally, I was let into the OR, and there mamma was with the mask on, and splayed out in crucifix style- arms out to the side, and curtain divider up so that mamma couldn't see her inards being rearranged.

Dad got to see all the bloody mess, and it was cool. The all women surgery staff was quick, efficient, and amazing how they could manipulate various organs and stuff from one incision. Then you arrived baby, and boy the only think I could say or think about was, "whoa that's a big baby." It was beyond me how you fit up in mamma, and it made perfectly good sense why you weren't going to want to come out vaginally.

Baby girl, everything was so perfect, and the cheeks were the first thing that I noticed on you. Due to the c section you came out with perfect skin, no stretched out head, or anything like that. Such a cute kid you are, and mamma and I proud to take care of you for the remainder of time.

pitocin+epidural=baby?!?

2008-01-31T11:26:00.000-05:00

Baby, it's been quite a ride for mamma and I. It's almost 24 hours since we've been participating in our "lock in" at fancy hospital. One can only imagine what the parking costs are going to be (stereotypical dad thought).

Anyways mamma had an eventful evening. It was determined that the pitocin was increasing contractions, and well that got me all exciting thinking that you would be arriving by the morning. Again it's almost noon, and it seems we'll be lucky if peek your head and body out before midnight.

Mamma at 3am decided to get the epidural. Anesthesiologist Resident man was a nice guy. I thought I played some disc with him, but really he just reminded me of Marshall, dude I swam with back in college. Hard to say if his bed side manners were fake or real, but when the 2nd anesthesiologist man came in, I had to ask the nurse if all anesthesiologist residents were cheery and positive, and she said "yes," who knew?

Mamma did really well with all the sharp intsturments involved in the epidura- basically a spinal tap. Since recv'ing the epidural, she has been at peace, sleeping, and getting her rest on.

FYI, if you ever want mamma to ever say "yes," to like. . .borrowing her new car, plagiarizing one of her unpublished poems, etc., all you have to do is slip a little pain med, or general sedative in her drink. Just the smallest of dose gets her initially very happy, giggly, and loopy. The effect is almost immediately after administering such wonder drugs, and then that window of opportunity is closed, but you didn't hear it from me, and I ain't endorsing such practices.

Currently we're on our 3rd midwife, and probably 4th of 5th nurse, talk about lack of continuity of care? If we have to stay here, shouldn't our providers stay here too? All in all, we've been happy with all of our care here, and baby you should be happy too, cuz everyone is rooting for you to come out.

As one nurse predicted, the boys like to stay in mamma's womb, while girls can't wait to get out. so perhaps baby, you're a boy baby, in that case you would be a pretty bad dude!

So baby, dad's thought of pitocin+epidural speeds up our introduction time, in theory is correct, but in real time, well it's out of anyone's control. The good news is that mamma's still oozing and leaking, still experiencing contractions, which all indicates progress. BTW, good baby, for not continuing to want to poop in the womb and swim up all in that junk :)

What do contractions feel like?

2008-01-31T11:18:00.000-05:00

Nurse Jo, very nice nurse who stayed and worked with us through out the wee hours of the AM, states contractions feel like the brain freeze sensation when you bite into cold ice cream. Except if one is having labor pains are in the back, the pain feel like it's shooting up your ass, although in reality there's nothing shooting up, rather it is a downward moving sensation since ultimately the baby is shooting on out downwards. Well at least that's what I'm hoping for :) Things you learn while sleeping on the cot in the labor room.

moisture:precipitation as pitocin:relief

2008-01-30T23:54:00.000-05:00

Well it's fastly approaching the dawning of a new day. Baby we've seen a midwives shift change, as well as 2 nursing shift change. As we enter this last day of January, you've failed your dad in coming a day late, and already losing what little college fund he had saved up. I imagine it won't be the first or last time daddy gambles away the savings, jk.

On a brighter note, mamma loves to monitor her contractions on the machine that gives her an output of how intense things are as well as how fast your hear rate is. Mamma has been experiencing more contractions, and some have even been intense.

While things were calm, dad got to go get some food, where a woman felt up his stomach by a complete stranger. Not because I'm pregnant, because she wanted to emphasize that I'm skinnier than she is and that I was getting a salad for dinner instead fries. Stay in a hospital long enough, all the crazies start talking to you.

Baby, you're going to enjoy this liquid goo stuff that's being shot into mamma's hand. It's going to intensify these contractions and cause you to shoot on out at some point. Mamma's resting up for the push, and well I'm about to caffeinate myself to be ready to push on through as well.

You rest up and hold on for the big squeeeze!

"why are you on the computer?"

2008-01-30T16:33:00.000-05:00

So baby we finally brought you to your first "lock in." It's been about 4 hours since we arrived, and well you haven't done much.

The good thing is that mamma feels that we're in a good labor room, although with it's 15inch TV from the 70's, and a HVAC system just as old, most of my physical movements have been going back and forth to the thermostat to adjust it when it's too hot or too cold.

Mamma is currently sleeping, which is wise, since who knows how long we'll be here. Even though it's been many hours since the water broke, you're still very content and happy in the womb. We're not scary people I swear. What up with all this passive laboring? We want mamma screaming, kicking, threatening dad, and some pushing. Guess you're going to make us wait some more

What we do know is that you're starting to poop a bit, not too much, but it's enough for people to be cautious and keep us here, and induce labor. Getting back to the fancy hospital, this mysterious gel that makes mamma's cervix open up like cavern is lost on route. Can we get a tracking code like UPS? We hope that this little bit of pooping lasts until potty training, seriously not looking fwd to monstrous ass explosions.

So baby, it looks like you may not make the Jan 30th, as predicted birth. At least mamma gets to sleep and I get to be lazy and chill.

What would labor rooms be like without wifi? Thanks to wifi, friends continue to IM me asking why I'm on the computer? Cuz I can, and have nothing else to do. C'mon baby lets get it going!

Why would you be on call?!?

2008-01-30T03:56:00.001-05:00

I was in the ER when the I recv'd the call stating that your mom's water had broke. The only problem was that I was not in the ER of the hospital we would be delivering.

I was actually on call tonight, and got called in to do an eval on sad pregnant girl. While I was just wrapping everything up. The charge nurse informs me that there is another eval. I announce to the ER nursing staff that I will not be able to start this eval, cuz I needed to go back home to be with mamma who's water just broke. One of the old ladies who works the phone in the ER says, "why would you be on call?!?"

Well kid, here's the story, you're a week late, and you don't have a barcode we can scan to see when you'll be due. Rather in 2008, nurses/midwives continue to use this paper dial that supposedly estimates when you were to be born. So their projections are looking to be more than a week off.

Why was I on call when I should have been with mamma you ask? Well dad's gotta work, and especially enjoys getting paid to sleep, although I got called in. Good things I was able to wrap things up with teary pregnant girl. The drive back from the hospital that I work at was surreal, the thoughts of meeting you, all the things we would do together just became more vivid and intense. I'm surprised I even got a couple of hours of sleep.

It's now morning time when I would usually hop on my bike and head into work, but mamma's pretty sure we're going to the hospital. Mamma's snoring as she has been for the last 4 months, and my guess is when she wakes up, shower, shits, and eat, we'll be on our way for our "lock in" at fancy hospital.

Here's hoping that my prayers are answered for an efficient and speedy arrival. Hold on tight