Broken is the New _____

Sad to say, but it's very clear that this blog has been neglected, but hooray to the visitors who still stop on by and take a peek at my reflections on fatherhood.

Last week babyboy sadly said, "our friendship is broken." Ouch! how does babydaddy respond to that? Ya see, babyboy was just in the midst of his full week of FT pre-K. Sometimes the limitations of kids being able to verbalize things are funny, or frustrating. In this instance, it was just an accurate statement.

Since moving to TN in 2011, babyboy and I have spent many hours and days together, while babymama went off to teach, and babygirl went off to pre-K. During the school year, we were partners in crime as we tackled laundry together, went grocery shopping, etc. We would read, play, eat, and go everywhere together. For the first time in babyboy's existence, he was regularly going somewhere else by himself, and babydaddy was at home.

In his own mind, we we weren't being friends, our relationship had drastically changed. He was under the care and guidance of his capable teachers and the greater school community, not his dad/friend.

Babydaddy would be lying if the thought of this new schedule and life as he knows it was oddly strange. Prior to life in TN, Babydaddy was clearly a breadwinner, sole financial provider, and worked various jobs to support the family. Life in TN has been full of new roles including: school dropoff dad, breakfast/lunch maker, family calendar manager, library dad, stay at home dad, train track designer+builder, business owner, etc. Just as I had fully understood and embraced those new roles, it all quickly changed. Many of those labels and roles are not as applicable this school year, and babydaddy is somewhat at a loss in diminished roles, new schedules, etc. Concretely babydaddy was aware of how things might be different, but emotionally babydaddy did not prepare for the idle time, changes in responsibilities (or lack of concrete ones), etc. Each week it seems that babydaddy is trying out new roles.

There is a sense of mourning and loss of the routines of the past, the ones that had become as comfortable as an old pair of jeans. This comfort of what was, is indeed "broken" according to babyboy, but like all things in life, with brokeness or destructions comes the opportunity to create and grow.

New often means something better, a clean/fresh start, or simply the beginning. "Broken" is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's been good to reflect on yesterday as it relates to today, and look forward to what tomorrow might be.

Babydaddy embraces and mourns the times with babyboy of the past, and look forward to all the many new endeavors that we will individually pursue during our time apart, but babyboy, we're not broken, you're simply growing up and leaving babydaddy in your dust.

Explosions

Just when Babydaddy gets around to blogging, time has exploded and a whole school year has gone by(wow!).

Along the same lines, babyboy is now 3 years old, or more specifically he turned 3 last week.

The hours, days, months, and certainly years all seem to swirl together.

In reflecting upon what babygirl was doing at 3 years old and what babyboy is doing at 3 years old, not to compare, but I will, things on the surface seem starkly different. Then again, babyboy always surprises, just like a understated poker player who ends up running the table. If anything has been consistent, its never count babyboy out.

Typically a month or few weeks before his birthday arrives, there's an explosion of stuff, a sort of show and tell version of all that he's learned in the last year, the developmental milestone he's already had in his back pocket, and it's presented in an oh so cavalier manner.

The family may just be out on the stoop(think less urban, and more country) and babyboy may just start singing his ABC's, babymama and babydaddy may share glances at one another just wondering how long he's had this song in his head.

With age, also comes feelings and emotions, and the greatest explosion of feelings is often directed at babygirl, not even sure where he gets the idea that's it's okay to push or shove, but babygirl is tough and standing her ground with him.

Just recently babyboy has been into mastering word combinations but mimicking what others say, he's also into asking "what does that mean?" Not so much "why?" or "what is that? Deep no?

Let see, babyboy mastered his scoot bike or balance bike, now he's tearing down any slight hill like a mad man. Like all toddlers he's very much into doing things himself, to the point where he'll undo what babydaddy has done, just so that he can do it "all by myself."

Now if babyboy can just fall asleep on his own, remain sleeping in his own bed the whole night, learn to swim, speak Spanish, eat food items that are not considered a dessert/treat or some sort of waffle, and solve world peace, his next year of life will truly be another explosive sight to witness.

All in all in the last year, babyboy and babydaddy have shared a good routine during the school year while babymama and babygirl were at school, and it was a very good year.

Looking forward to many more adventures and surprises in babyboy's next year of life.

Certainly wasn't climbing up the wall last year, but just last week he was crushing the climb and made it to the top.

And for now, he will continue to try to 

keep up with his sissy(babygirl)

Old Viewing Habits

There was a time when Babygirl was labeled "failure to thrive." Basically she had fallen of the growth curve shortly after she turned 1 year old. Obviously things like this happen all the time, especially when an infant gives up the mama milk, and then starts walking. We're talking about an increase in physical activity and calories burned, as well as the switch from the magical nutritional wonders of breast milk to formula(despite technology, formula companies continue to refine their recipe to better mimic everything that breast milk contains).

Prior to the official label of "failure to thrive," everything was tried to increase caloric intake, pediatrician asked us to double up the butter on toast, add oil to everything, etc. Needless to say, Babydaddy got good at sneaking in olive oil into all sorts of meals. Like anyone who's trying to put on weight, it's not necessarily just eating high calorie foods, but also increasing the frequency of eating such things too, which is not easy to convey to a verbally limited infant.

Naturally the one way that babymama and Babydaddy could keep food in front of babygirl long enough, was the introduction of watching TV while eating. If it were not for TV, meal times would be over in less than 5mins. Thus at an early age the idea of watching something and eating became synonymous.

Clearly Babygirl is way beyond the "failure to thrive" label(thank you PediaSure, the official weight gainer/protein shake for babies), but the habit of staring at a screen and putting food to mouth still continues. Naturally babyboy has taken to watching and eating as something normal.

America, it's embarassing as parents to admit that our children are not likely to eat as well if there is not a TV, but it ain't easy to break either, but we're working on it.

At the end of the day, Babygirl and Babyboy are healthy and thriving. Parenting is not always cookie cutter neat and proper, and sometimes we just have to do what we gotta do, and not worry what other parents might be thinking or saying.

 

Babygirl thriving and winning!

Babyboy thriving and not looking too shabby!

Creative Daddies

How could Babydaddy not share this with everyone?

Just wanna give a shout out to all the daddies out there, 

keepin it real and holdin it down- parenting ain't easy!

*know any other dad's that need shout outs for their superhuman efforts? 

let me know, love to spotlight them.

 

So You Think My Child. . .

It never fails when ever someone meets the family for the first time, they always want to compare the face of the child and match it up to a parent. Babymama and Babydaddy have gotten every combination of who looks like who. We do agree that Babyboy is ours, and he is without a doubt a biological sister to Babygirl, but we agree he looks "Serbian" or Eastern Bloc European.

Then there's always that person who wants to compare your child to a fake baby, fake as in not real, or simply created in a Pixar lab. No, people don't think Babyboy looks like the toy baby from Toy Story, but rather Jack Jack from the Incredibles.


At first Babymama and Babydaddy used to think this was funny and it was a clever compliment. Finally Babydaddy decided to refresh his memory of what exactly Jack Jack looks like.


C'mon. Really, he looks like Jack Jack! -because he has a big round head? Maybe similar ears that jut out? He doesn't even rock the faux hawk often either, nor does he turn into a flaming baby when  he's angry. He can be a ball of energy like all 2y/o but no babysitter has refused to come back to watch him.

So let this be a lesson to all of you parents out there, when your child is compared to a fictional child, it can't be a good thing. And if an acquaintance states that your son reminds them of a Pixar kid, it can't be a good thing.
Take a look.

These kids look great as characters, but really would you like to be the parent of child that looks like this? They look cute or funny on screen with their disproportional body parts and sizes, but in real life probably not so cute, just sayin' nothing against Pixar.


What unfavorable character has your child been compared to?

Its Easy to Go Overboard. . .

-with the goodie bags at a birthday party

-with one's excitement watching a vaginal or Cesarean delivery

-with doing so much that you've literally fallen over and sinking in (mess, illness, emotional paralysis, etc.)

-or simply enjoying the summer like Babydaddy has been doing this summer(the benefits of being your own boss, as well as working in an a field that has a seasonal slowdown).

Clearly this *dad went overboard in excitement, TMI, bodily fluids, etc. Dad's it's easy to geek out in the joys of fatherhood, but some are best not sharing with others.

Summer Pics

*yes i realize that this is purely fiction but there's some babydaddy's or babymama's who can come pretty close to the level of full disclosure, TMI, etc. just try not to be one of them :)

760ish and Counting: A Look Backwards

Wow, did not know it's been 3 months since Babydaddy's last threw up a post. Go figure Babydaddy has been more productive with his business blog, so naturally the dad blog has gone by the way side. Well 3 months have gone by and Babyboy is now 2 years old, like he was born in 2010.


As Babydaddy reflects back on the past 760ish days, it almost seems like the amount of life events covered like 1400 days. Here's a crude snap shot of 2 years:

May 2010- BabyBoy was born almost 2 weeks past due in family tradition of emergency c-section

July 2010- Babydaddy gets hit up w/pneumonia for a the 2nd time in his life

Fall 2010- brought on some of the most difficult and stressful challenges at work

Nov 2010- we find Babymama got the FT teaching job, and we'll be moving to TN in the summer, so she cab start teaching in the fall.

Jan 2011- Babyboy started wearing a helmet to reshape his head (unsure of exact start date) Prior to meeting with specialist on head shapes and doctor who invented the helmet, Babyboy also had trips to see a urologist and dermatologist(all for precautionary reasons, and hypervigilant pediatrician)

Jan 2011- Babyboy takes a trip to CA with family, Babyboy gets to dip his toes in both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans in less than a year, what took Babymama until adulthood to achieve

Feb-April 2011- Babydaddy spent much time and money trying to keep greenbus(our beloved green CR-V) alive

April 2011- Family forced to buy new car, as greenbus is headed for the scrap yard

May 2011- Babyboy no longer has to wear a helmet, and turns 1 years old.

May-June 2011- purging, packing, cleaning, rinse, repeat.

June 2011- we move away from a city that Babymama and Babydaddy arrived in 10 years prior as single, young kids, and left as a married couple with 2 kids. We leave our condo(1st home) vacant with no tenants moving despite valiant efforts to find someone.

July 2011- arrive in our new home after traveling and visiting w/friends and family(in MA, NY, PA, OH, and MI) for the past 2.5weeks.

Aug 2011- the hottest and driest summer in TN history= 5th ring of Dante's Inferno for us northerners. leaves were turning brown and falling by the end of the month.

Sept 2011- tenants move into our condo, babydaddy started teaching, babymama started teaching, babygirl started montessori pre-k, babyboy started to hang out with babydaddy more, babydaddy started paying rent on his own office space.

Dec 2011- finish paying off repair costs for greenbus which we hadn't owned for past 8 months.

Jan 2012- with help of County Sheriff's office we evicted our tenants

Feb 2012- our condo is listed for sale, well below the price we paid for

May 2012- Babymama participates in her 2nd graduation as a faculty member, and completes/survives her 1st year of FT teaching. Babygirl completes her 1st year of pre K. Babydaddy actually has busy days at the office, and Babyboy excited to make it to 2 years old and looking fwd to full summer with his whole family.

On a a side note:
In 2 years Babyboy has taken trips to CA, NC, FL, OH, MI, NY, RI, IL, and PA, and has lived in MA and TN. Also accompanied Babymama to 2 family funerals


Along with the many 1sts that come within the first 2 years of life(scoot crawling, standing, walking, talking, etc.), Babyboy had no trips to ER(thankfully), and has had 4 different regular nanny/babysitters/child care providers.

It's been a busy 2 years of growing for Babyboy, but so much more was happening around him as well.

birth-24months in 3 month intervals