Yeah for Dads!

Babydaddy has noticed a lot of stuff out there on stay at home dads, and articles about dad's being more that just the bread winner in a family. Perhaps it has to do with the economy, perhaps society is growing and stretching the idea of parenting.

So here's a couple of links.

Depressed Father's Put Their Children at Risk of course when mommy or daddy is not doing well, it typically means it's not good for the children as well, but there was some new and interesting stuff in this article.

Fathermuckers this is proposed new name for dad's that stay at home with kid(s), as well as the title of a new book coming out soon. What name/term do/would you prefer?

Developing Mad Skills, yo!

Fatherhood presents many challenges, but also many opportunities to learn.

Here's some of Babydaddy's growing skill set(in no particular order):
-making up creative names for foods(daddy cheesy bread, not to be mistaken with "cheesy bread" or Texas Toast, red worm pasta, etc.)
-aspirating boogies from noses(if only this was a marketable skill or a skill that could be monetized, the kids would be paying cash for college)
-holding a child and doing a chore or simply going to the bathroom
-finding that inanimate object that's going to entertain for the next 5 mins
-clipping nails or as Babymama likes to call it "dad-icures"
-doing things over and over and not getting sick of it(listening or singing the same songs, or reading books)
-foraging(not plated) for snacks that the kids left behind for Babydaddy

what skills have you developed or working on?

Home is NOT Where the Heart Is!

Yes you read that right, Babydaddy is going all 90's angsty grundge on ya!

Babymama had asked Babydaddy if he was looking fwd to the annual holiday trip back to our childhood homes to visit with family, and he replied yes and no. He knew it would be different with 2 active kids this year, and having to supervise and plan for activities would hardly be the vacation that they used to take. Prior to kids it used to be about staying out late, sleeping in, and eating good ol' fashion mama's cooking.

Holiday trip 2011 was epic, not because the kids were one again spoiled rotten in love and attention only grandparents (six total!) can give or gifts made in China. 10 days away from our home resulted in 10 nights of interrupted/disturbed sleep.



Interrupted/disturbed sleep can look like any of the following:
-nearly 4y/o Babygirl who always end up btwn Babymama and Babydaddy during the middle of the night
-Babygirl may sleep sideways, upside down, kick covers off, or may slap or kick one's face.
-Babygirl also may bring in any one of her stuffed animals, which only adds to the crowded bed effect
-Babyboy simply may just decide to wake up every 2-3hrs, which will inevitably lead to him in btwn Babymama and Babydaddy in the same bed.
-Babyboy may roll, twist, and turn in bed as well, which is a surprise and safety concern.
-Babyboy and Babygirl ending up in the same queen size bed at Babymama and Babydaddy, leading to Babydaddy having to sleep all contorted, or Babymama seeking respite on the living room couch.
-Babyboy and Babygirl would also end up falling asleep many hours beyond their typical bedtime at home.






All these disruptions and interruptions would lead to feeling exhausted come morning time, it would also lead to totally whacked out dreams loosely based on current events and reality. Naturally it leads to diminished immune system, and leads to getting sick. Such as the both kids getting the sniffles and runny noses, and Babymama fighting a mild cold, which naturally Babydaddy catches at the tail end of the trip.

So that old Americana saying "Home is Where the Heart is" is totally false. I would like to officially change that saying to, Home is Where One's Own Bed is Located. Whatever your bed may be, there's nothing quite like returning home and resting your head on your very own pillow and bed.

Hoping that 2012 is full of sleeping in your own bed!

Just Go Big

Dad's or dad's to be if you're ever in the market to buy a new bed, and are looking to upgrade from the full, just go crazy, skip ahead, pass Go and collect $200!, skip the queen, and just go king or California king.

Never would have thought that Babydaddy would be complaining about how small a queen size bed feels, but throw in an infant and a toddler, and you'll wish you were sleeping on a park bench which is wider than that amount of mattress you'll get when you're sharing the queen with 3 other bodies.

Kids don't sleep properly, they like to sleep perpendicular(or upside down) to the bed, like to spread out the little limbs, like to kick off covers/blankets, and notorious for waking up early and not falling back asleep.

In the past week, Babydaddy woke up with babyboy using his hip as a pillow, mind you Babydaddy thought it was Babygirl the whole time. Another time this week both to the surprise of Babymama and Babydaddy, Babygirl had Houdini-ed her way right in the middle of them, without anyone waking. Just tonight, went into bed to find the bed occupied by Babygirl and Babymama, right smack in the middle of the bed, leaving Babydaddy just a sliver of mattress to occupy tonight.

The options are(can you tell I'm in the midst of creating a final exam)
a) sleep on couch
b) sleep in Babygirl's bed(which would be like sleeping in minefield of stuffed animals, toys, etc.)
c) find a park bench to sleep on
d) sleep with half of my family, knowing that by an ungodly AM hour, Babyboy will have to join us due to not being able to go back to sleep. Gotta love family time.

I'll be California (king bed) dreamin' tonight!

Photocredit:1800mattressblog.com

What time is it again?!?

Nostalgia or Hipster?

No one truly claims to be hipsters in this family, yet the family all has some hipness to it. Like have you ever see babyboy move, there's literally a lot of one sided hip action. Babygirl has always been on the cutting edge of putting an outfit together, these days she's seems to be married to her pink converse, and has finally taken to wearing socks. Babymama is the hip dressed prof at the college, so hip that she may be the only one in rural TN sporting cowl neck sweaters that get mistaken for a backwards hoody.

There are things that as parents that Babymama and Babydaddy do for unknown motivations such as Babymama has been slowly amassing old school Little People playhouse and house accessories from ebay for the past 2 years for the kids. She also introduced Follow that Bird to Babygirl, that Sesame Street movie was made in the 80's. She also got Babygirl interested in the Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake cartoons, and also sports s new but retro looking Rainbow Bright T-shirt. Babygirl has been known to watch Yogi Bear since we don't have cable (Babydaddy was given a box set of Yogi Bear Hana Barbara cartoons way back when). Babygirl's has seen more hours out of Snagglepuss and Yakee Doodle than Babydaddy has during his whole childhood. To the point he's scared she'll let a "heavens to megatroid", or "exit stage left" slip at school.

How many other parents like to recite a little Billy Madison when washing their child's hair. Babydaddy has been telling Babygirl that conditioner leaves her hair "silky and smooth." He wonders at what age she'll realize that was not just fact but also a quote from a character Adam Sandler played. Perhaps all kids will reach an age where they will have watched Billy Madison on youtube or something, and all have this eureka moment.

Both Babygirl and Babyboy are into the Letter People an educational video back in the day to help kids learn about letters(google it, it's pretty entertaining). Babyboy has also been known to sport vintage Cleveland Indian paraphernalia as well.

Are we hipsters just re-living our childhood through our children? Or is our stuff from our childhood infinitely better than what's available today. Are the moral lessons of GI Joe really on par with the moral lessons from Veggie Tales? While the new Transformers movies are ok, the original Transformer Movie with the banging soundtrack was even better.

Remember the days when the Nintendo wouldn't work, you would pop out the cartridge and blow on it. To this day Babymama does this with anything that does not work. Lo and behold Babygirl does this as well. At what point in college will she encounter other friends that do the same and discover that this was a phenomenon to solving technological problems in the mid 1980's?

This daddy ain't sure where all the retro 80's stuff is coming from, perhaps it has to do with our perceptions of what is safe, and well the 80's were safe according to our small world view than it is today in 2011. Will irreparable damage be caused by such exposures? Only time will tell.

Go Play Ball!

For the past month babydaddy got to play softball on a weekly basis, sometimes playing more than once a week. Ya see, babydady got asked to play on babymama's colleague's faculty softball team, that primarily plays against other student in the university's intramural league.

Babydaddy having never played organized baseball, softball or T-Ball in his life, this was going to be comical at best. Nuances of the game from a defensive positioning and strategy, etc. Many times I was just focused on two things, make contact with stick and ball, and run as fast as possible to the next base. In the field well, after couple of games in right field, it was clear I was better off being the catcher, which I didn't mind.

It's been humbling and fun for babydaddy to play a sport that he knows he's not good at. It's also good that it was competitive, but at the same time due to babydaddy's own skill level, he couldn't take the game so seriously.

Sometimes when opportunities present itself to us dad's, we have to take it. Even if it may be a humbling experience or something that's embarrassing. The need to get out, to have fun outside of family makes for good life balance, and if anything it's a great story to share with the kids. At the end of the day, they don't care if you won or lost, but just knowing that you're a "softball player" or that you have other roles than just official swing pusher, and lunch maker gives children other ways to identify/interact with their dads.

Things I Just Figured Out

3.5 years after the birth of babygirl, and 1.5 years after the birth of babyboy, I continue to learn new things about parenting, and raising a child- more specifically a girl. Despite being a women's studies minor in college, and having good foundation of feminist theories and thoughts, as well as reading some parenting books/blogs, I learned something new recently.

Not even babymama cared to teach me this or go over the fine art of washing hair. As a guy, and a guy who's shaved his head many times, it's relatively easy to wash my own hairs. Basically, get arbitrary amount of shampoo in your palm and slap it on the top of your head and lather. This works when you have a short hair. When you're a gal or a guy with shoulder length hair this does not work.

Babygirl would complain that I was pulling her hair and causing her pain while washing her hair or conditioning her hair. It then it all made sense, if I placed the shampoo or conditioner more towards the end of her hairs, then it wouldn't take so much effort to lather her hair vs trying to get shampoo from the top of her head down to the roots.

I realize this isn't worthy of MacArthur Foundation Grant, and perhaps it's a no-brainer, but I like to imagine that some other dads out there have also not gotten the tutorial to washing their babygirl's hair painfree. Can I get a witness?

2 little monkeys swinging in a tree

You Got Bubbles?

Babygirl and Babydaddy shared a public family restroom at Target today. Babygirl did her business, and so did Babydaddy.

As Babygirl was looking at end result of the process, she asked "Daddy you got bubbles in your tinkle?" Babydaddy replied, "yup." She quickly responds, "that's so silly."

How does a dad a dad respond to that? It was a funny moment.

Babygirl as previously mentioned, likes to describe her poops.  Today Babygirl said that her poop was a "caterpillar with one arm."  Sometimes she likes to even tells Babymama and Babydaddy after she's done taking care of business, "I think my poop is moving.  See! it's moving."  Not sure if she thinks this is funny to her parents, or scares them, or simply thinks that each poop is alive.

Babygirl also likes to compliments toilets that flush by themselves, "good job, it flushed all by itself."

Can't even imagine what her bro, Babyboy is going to be like potty training and what not.

How is everyone else spending their Labor Day Weekend?

18 Months Long!

Babydaddy, has had very short stints with Babygirl, or Babyboy, or both at the same time.  It has either been for a couple of hours-maybe even a full 8 hrs, a series of days for a couple of hours, and a wknd here or there.

Babydaddy can not fathom what a 18month long paternity leave would be like.  As the author talked about the cultural changes in Sweeden as other dad's take long leaves to take care of their children, he also questions the social constructions of dudehood or masculinity.  Babydaddy can only assume that if he was the lone dad with the long paternity leave he would begin to feel self conscious around other men.  At the same time, babydaddy knows it would be one of the best usage of time to be with his own children, as well one of the most tiring of times.

As Babymama likes to point out, even though Babydaddy may be working a lot, the work in the office is so different than the physical nature, the emotional rollercoaster of full time parenting work at home.

Babydaddy salutes all the mom's who do so much each and everyday with very little acknowledgment of all the daily battles they won.

babyboy sleeping(photo taken in mid Aug)


babygirl giving someone the stink eye or totally enchanted?(photo taken in mid aug)

Pain cont. . .

Babydaddy had previously written about the pain that he endures at night from Babygirl.

Lately the antics have continued to get Babygirl to brush her teeth.  Often times Babydaddy has had to "call" our one of our family's many dentist friends re: the conflict we were having at home, and how "Doctor Jeff" would be disappointed to hear that Babygirl isn't brushing her teeth, or something to that effect.

During a moment of genius, Babygirl was asked if she wanted to brush her teeth upside down, which of course she said yes(Dad's when all else fails, anything upside is sure to be a winner. Like going to bed upside down.  Haven't tried eating veggies upside down, but I'm sure it's possible, astronauts do it right?).  Babygirl's joy for upside down teeth brushing was short lived, but it's still one of the many options that get offered.

Sometime we just have to sing the brush your teeth song from daycare to get her to brush.  Sometimes Babygirl wants to be collaborative and asks that Babydaddy and her both hold the handle and brush her teeth together.  Sometime they just agree to independently brush their own teeth at the same time.

Yesterday, Babygirl got a new Dora toothbrush, which has turned into a novelty item in the house.  At least oral hygiene is on her mind, but it hasn't made that much of a difference.


Hangin' out poolside!

Generation X Dad?

Babydaddy falls into the category of not really being a true Generation X-er, but definitely missed that cut off.  Is he a child of the 80's or 90's.  Of course more of his formative years were a part of the 90's, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the appreciation of all things 80's, especially from '85 and beyond.

This article, Gen-X Parents "R" Us, is a comprehensive look at how marketers/ad companies have targeted the Gen X parents.  Some of it was definitely things Babydaddy could related to, and yes he thinks it's fairly normal that each generation tries to compensate for things that were unfulfilled or wrong that their parents did.  Of course the tendency is for the next generation to act in the extreme opposite of their own childhood, which creates it's own multi-generational issues.  So what do parents do?

Babydaddy believe in this informed society we live in and where we can analyze and document the changes of times, it's important to find the balance btwn the past and present.  Does babydaddy wish he had a Jordans while growing up, definitely.  Does that mean babyboy needs his Jordans for preschool? NO.  Babydaddy had a mix of handy me downs, and very few "cool" clothes, does that mean that every outfit that Babygirl wears needs to come from HM kids? NO.  As the article states, many in our generation have added simple luxuries into our lives that we believe are non-negotiables, such as premium organic coffee, furniture from Crate and Barrel, Coach purse, Ed Hardy t-shirts, smartphones w/data plans, etc., and the hope is that as parents various innocuous luxury items will be a part of the child rearing life.  Such as child and parent will always resort back to Nickelodeon as the goto channel for entertainment, or New Balance will be the default shoe of choice due to comfort, Sesame characters, or your child will be a member of Red Sox Nation.

Babydaddy and Babymama are equally guilty of our fair share of luxury items, basic cable w/HD+ DVR, granite counter tops, etc.  At the same time Babydaddy feels that btwn Babymama and him,  they can find the balance where Babygirl and Babyboy aren't totally enslaved to Madison Ave and corporate branding, and overly indulging in capitalism.

Have any parents noticed various consumer traps they've fallen into.  Has anyone decided to buy a Toyota Sienna cuz the hipster parents on the commercials make it look acceptable?

one of Babydaddy's fav images/toys of the 80's

Chuck T-eezies!

Babydaddy definitely bought 4 pairs of Converse all stars (hi-tops) before Babygirl was even born, and before Babydaddy knew that the baby was going to be a boy a girl.

Babydaddy bought 2 pairs in turquoise and 2 pairs in black, all in different sizes(they were on sale). Babygirl looked bad ass in the black, and just looked cute in turquoise.

Although hi-tops and laces are impractical for toddlers, Babymama and Babydaddy have a love for the classic Converse All Stars, and own several pairs.

How excited was Babydaddy to see these Dr. Seuss themed Converse? Babydaddy was always aware that you could design your own but have yet to take the financial plunge in designing his own or Babyboy or Babygirl's uniquely designed canvas shoes.

Come fall Babygirl will fit right into her 3rd pair of converse, and by next summer Babyboy will be fitting into his 1st hand-me-down pair of shoes from BigSister.  On a side note, Babydaddy has been jonesing for a new pair of All Stars, any thoughts on what color he should get next?

Can dads and moms really be just friends?

Babydaddy found this article in Babble interesting. For most of Babydaddy's life he has had many platonic relationship with females through high school, college, and grad school. Things did change after marriage, but there continues to be a good group of women that Babydaddy keeps in touch with. Of course some of them are mothers, but most reside far away for playdates and regular stroller walks.

Babymama has a nice collection of mama friends, and I've met most of them. They are all very nice to me, but it's very clear that Babydaddy's presence upsets the balance of things. Babydaddy doesn't necessarily feel excluded, but they're not really his friends

Unsure if it's totally appropriate for Stay At Home Dads to be trolling for female friends, but the options are pretty limited when 90% of stay at home parent happens to be a woman. Babydaddy is not bitter, or even upset, but it can be lonely for us dads. Any thoughts dads?

"just hanging out"


awake+alert

Choosing a Pediatrician

Since Babydaddy works at a health center, and knows all of the pediatricians here, it was a no brainer, when it came to where Babygirl would get her medical care. Not only is it great that her doctor is my colleague, I also get full access to her medical records, which is a nice bonus.

Babydaddy is aware that choosing a pediatrician can be difficult, and perhaps the following link written by pediatrician may be of help in selecting a doctor.

http://thefastertimes.com/pediatrics/2010/03/04/picking-your-babys-doc-the-prenatal-visit/

Other than that Babymamma, Babygirl, and Babydaddy are down to single digits (9 weeks!) before we meet Baby#2!

Babygirl has been working on her lullabies for her sib.

Sports

Babydaddy's goal is definitely to instill values in Babygirl that she's fully capable to compete with the boys at the playground, field or court. Time will tell how much she fights Babydaddy on this one, but Babydaddy still hopes that he'll be able to play ultimate frisbee with her on the same team.

Babydaddy isn't going to be like NFL dad who grooms his child to be a quarterback from the age 4. I do hope that she does enjoy sports, because quite frankly Babydaddy enjoys sports- enjoys participating in it, watching it, following it, etc. So far Babydaddy would say he's off to a good start.

When Babygirl was only an infant, Babydaddy would read Sports Illustrated/ESPN the Magazine articles to her while holding her. Obviously she just liked the rhythm of the words and continuity of auditory stimulation that was not babymusic. Soon she began to enjoy the photos, the colors, etc.

Babygirl became attached to balls- tennis balls, spikey ball, yoga ball, etc. It was only natural one day we all watched several minutes of an NFL game together. Babygirl loved how the ball would be thrown in the air, how other people would kick the ball, and of course how people all fall. Right around this time she was really into "Ring Around the Rosie," especially the "we all fall down" part. So many people "falling" on top of each other was definitely sure joy.

Shortly afterward Babygirl began to identify numbers and colors, so NFL/football took on a different level of interest- green fields, numbers on the fields, numbers on the uniforms, different colored helmets(Babygirl likes her bike helmet). Babygirl soon began to ask for "Elmo Football" as well.

At this point, despite NFL season being over, Babygirl will still ask for football, so we'll catch a minute or two on the NFL channel. She's also quick to point out all the football related ads in magazine and Sunday circulars. These days Babygirl will even put on her "helmet" a pink bucket while she wants to play catch with the football. Perhaps Babygirl will be a candidate for the NFL's Punt, Pass, and Kick competitions, heck maybe girls will be playing football with the boys when she's in high school.

Good thing there's such thing as the NFL channel, otherwise I don't know if she would understand if Babydaddy had to explain the off season and this idea of the need to get into baseball and spring training. Babygirl has been to a baseball game and recognizes the game, but it doesn't really captivate her attention like football, same thing with basketball. Babygirl recognizes that people shoot the ball into the hoop, but isn't really interested.

As winter and the Olympics have rolled in, babygirl has definitely taken a liking to ice skating, and will typically watch something, especially like in speed skating where you can cheer for someone in a colored uniform. Prior to the Olympics Babygirl and Babydaddy enjoyed watching Shaun White highlights from the X Games, and particularly enjoyed the idea that people could spin and be upside down at the same time.

So far Babydaddy is happy with the progression of her enjoyment of all sorts of sports, and hope that Babygirl will continue to take an interest in participating in sports (not necessarily in a crazy competitive, got to go to the Olympics type way) but just for the sheer enjoyment of sportsmanship, competing, and pushing various mental and physical limits.

Obviously Babydaddy is excited for Babygirl to pick up ultimate frisbee, skiing/snowboarding, rock climbing, adventure sports, etc., and can't wait to participate together as father/daughter.

"Elmo Football" Babygirl also enjoys doing the "1,2,3, hit exercise"




This is Babygirl's stinky face

terminology

Perhaps it's Babydaddy's own lofty ambitions to raise Babygirl in an environment that is a good mix of exposing her to the big bad world, while keeping her under the security of protective arms and watchful eyes.

If there's anything that Babydaddy sees in working with adolescents or pre-teens, as well as his own reflections on childhood is the lack of frankness and appropriate conversations parents/adults have with kids re: all things related to sex, drugs and rock and roll.

In all seriousness some States don't even allow for teachers to talk about sex, which is grossly lacking in the great Bay State that Babydaddy resides in. This lack of education puts even more pressure and importance on parents, and between soccer practice, afterschool activities, and what not, what kid or parent has time for a sit down conversations on any topic that requires being open and frank? May B btwn txt msgs ppl can fit in all da important 411.

Oprah likes to use the term "va-jay jay," babymama has been known to use such terms as "lady parts," "ladyland," etc. Lately babygirl is in that normal, natural age where when she's naked her hands naturally go to body parts that are 99% of the time covered by a cloth diaper. Of course it was cute when babygirl would refered to her gluteus maximus as her "bootee," but it wasn't so cute when she would touch her labia/vagina and say "coochie." Is there a double standard that Babydaddy thinks "booty" is ok(cuz he taught her this), but not "coochie"(cuz Babymamma taught her this)?

Babydaddy firmly believes that there should not be any shame, embarrassment, with correctly naming all of our God given anatomical parts. Babydaddy can't tell you the number of times he's played the "penis game" with his clients(this has nothing to do with inappropriate touching, or anything like that, just a game to help boys get used to saying body parts as candidly as saying "elbow" or "knee" or "penis.") so why wouldn't Babydaddy's own little girl grow up learning all the real terminology for these body parts?

It's Babydaddy's belief if we as parents can use appropriate language, it will allow for a more open dialogue regarding anything related to the body, which includes sex. If a child grows up knowing that certain body parts have cute little names, won't there be some great embarrassment, or unspoken stigma in bringing up serious questions about those same body parts?

So Babydaddy thinks Babymama is on board with referring to the correct body parts with the correct terminology for those parts. What are other parents doing? What did ya'll grow up calling those "private parts." I think it's interesting that the non-medical terminology for penis in Korean is the same word for pepper, as in red, bell, jalapeno pepper, how about in your own native tongue, any funny names?

Wishful thinking is simply nothing more than that

There are mornings when Babygirl decides to wake up at some despicable hour, well not really, but earlier and hour or half hour earlier than normal. Then again on Sun AM's anything before 9am is despicable. Lately Babygirl is good to wake up 7-7:30AM window, everyday. There are always those AM's when she decides 5AM seems like a great time to start asking for a bottle, or 6AM when she just start crying because she wants out of her crib.

Well this AM it was 6AM, when she was crying, and was not going to soothe her own self back to bed. It turns out these chilly overnights make it chilly for Babygirl who doesn't believe in blankets yet, despite dressing her in warm clothes (if only she believed in wearing hats to bed like she did a year ago, sigh). Well after rocking her back to sleep, I laid her down back in bed, and not even 20mins later, she was back up stating she had a "poopy" diaper, and also needed a bottle, since she was so thirsty.

After all that, she had no interest to go back to sleep, and Babydaddy had no interest in staying up. So in my mind, despite knowing the likely outcome, decided to bring Babygirl to bed with Babymamma and I. Lets just say Babymama and I have tried this numerous time in the last 6 months and she's never once gone back to sleep with us. Of course I think, she's a bit older than the last time, and I'm just as tired, so in my wishful thoughts I think, ya she'll fall asleep, especially when she get's under that down comforter.

WHAT WAS I THINKING? Wishful thinking is like a form of delusion, just flat out crazy. Babygirl did start off pretty calm laying there, getting all cozy, before she poked me in my eye, sat up, bothered Babymama, and declared that the sun was up, roosters had already crowed and surely we had to get up too.

After 20mins, Babygirl and I started our Sunday at 7AM. Good thing I don't think Babygirl is despicable, nor am I delusional for loving this girl, but boy do I miss sleeping in on Sun's.

Is IUD the bomb?

IUD or IED, what's the difference? Intra-Uterine Device or Improvised Explosive Device, often times both are difficult to find, and both are used as a prevention method.

In the case of IED, they're often buried in the road so unwanted vehicles or people(aka, US soldiers occupying foreign land) going by would detonate the explosive devise. In the case of an IUD, it's typically carefully implanted by the Gynecologist which prevents from sperm from fertilizing an egg, as well as if an egg was fertilized it would have difficulty attaching to the uterus.

Why is this an important note to dads? Well sometimes Moms like to get Dads involved in the birth control process, whether is equal sharing of who buys the condoms, to the the dad who reminds the mom to take the birth control pills, etc. As this article states, IUD are not too popular in the US, while in other parts of the world, it's widely used amongst women. I am sure there are many woman who dread the idea of going back on the pill, the possible weight gain, the hormonal changes/imbalances, etc.

Perhaps the Dads out there can suggest the IUD, no hormones, low cost, no mess. While the NuvaRing is similar, other than you have to keep putting it in and taking it out, I've heard it was never designed for women who are sexually active with well endowed man(true story, personal friend had to call NuvaRing customer service on why the ring wasn't working for her and her man).

What would be best form of birth control for your family? IUD, BCP, Tubectomy, Vasectomy?

Me, Grup, U?

An astute friend of mine passed along this article from the NYMag, about Grups, or Grown Ups, or basically hipster dads. Interestingly the article was published in 2006, since I wasn't a dad back then, nor have I ever read the NYMag, I guess I never came across the article.

I guess Babydaddy here wants to know, how many dads outside of NYC, identify with the dudes in this article? By no means am I hipster, dress down techie who has a flexible schedule and buy Ramones onesies for Babygirl. I do live in the city, I do commute by bike, not a fixed gear bike, I do have a collection of retro shoes, I also do like to go through the sales rack of Urban Outfitters, but I certainly don't have time to be chasing indie bands, wear retro t-shirts from the 80's, or quit jobs frequently to fit my lifestyle.

I do feel as a dad and adult, I long to hold on to Passion. I long for more passionate parenting experiences with Babygirl, I do hope that I can foster her own passions, rather than conform to molds of what's socially acceptable or a passing fad at the moment. I also hope that my jobs do not stifle my passions for my own pursuits. I guess like many hipster dads, I don't want to just live to work, so that I can work to live. I know I won't be carrying a briefcase anytime soon, and I'm happy going sock-less most days of the years, but is that going to be enough to keep the Passion alive? Isn't the chase for staying young and being youthful and passionate a losing battle in the end?

Everyone is looking for something to bring meaning to their lives, sometimes it's family, sometimes it's who we associate with, sometimes it's a revolutionary movement, or political affiliation, at the end of the day my Christian identity makes the most sense to me and helps me to stay grounded and not get caught up in emotionally charged/uplifting groupings.

What drives your ideas of adulthood, parenthood, or being Grup?

Vacation Tips

While Babydaddy has traveled a bunch with Babymamma, before baby was included in our names, the 4th of July wknd, was our first opportunity to travel w/Babygirl which did not include attending a wedding, figuring out how to get a baby through airport security, or visiting family.

I think the #1 idea of thinking about traveling with a baby should not be about costs. Of course you should always stay within budget, but let me explain. While we went for pricier accommodations, it was totally worth the cost. First we stayed in a suite, which allowed for us adults to stay up well past a child's early bedtime. It also gave kids enough space to run around and not feel like they are trapped in a hotel room. We also had access to a full sized fridge and kitchenette if we wanted to cook in(who wants to cook on vacation). Of course there was a pool, which is always nice for the kiddies, what kid doesn't love to swim? There was also a very nice hot tub for the adults too.

With the nice suite option, we had a better than expected continental breakfast, that was not your typical, heat your own waffles, eat boxed cereals, and drink some coffee breakfast. Every breakfast was slightly different, but great, and everyone took full advantage of the free food. Eating a good breakfast, which also had good coffee, cut down on costs for snacks before lunch, and allowed for a small lunch rather than big lunch.

Where you spend extra money on accommodations, it seems that we were able to cut corners on meals. Only because Babygirl just doesn't do well in sit-down-restaurants, which allowed for Babymamma and I to go get quick sandwiches, go to off the tourist path's eateries and have real conversations with hipsters working their summer jobs. We would make Rachel Ray proud in accomplishing $40 a day on meals for three.

While Babydaddy typically likes to get the most of traveling and pack in as many things as possible, but with Babygirl in tow, I made very loose plans, and left it up to Babygirl's mood, weather, and various other factors that could come up with traveling with a baby. So being flexible and just enjoying the fact that you're out of town, or don't have to worry about cleaning should be much appreciated of any vacation.

While Babygirl did get out of some routines and rituals, it was vacation and we tried to roll with it. For instance Babygirl got to co-sleep with her parents for the first time. The pack n play wasn't working out. Of course trying to keep some thing predictable and same as home is much more comforting for kids, even if they are on vacation.

Of course any destination that has plenty of outdoor space, playgrounds, children friendly places(museums, stores, restaurants, activity places) are a must. I would say it could be difficult to find balance btwn fun things for the parents and fun things for kids/babies, but being a part of your child's exploration of a new place, or new thing is pleasure in itself!

Go out and and explore!

While we did not fly to our vacation this time, we have traveled extensively on airplanes with Babygirl, since she was less than a year old.