Fragility of Life

Becoming a dad has definitely led me to be more in tuned with the fragility of life. Perhaps one extreme form of this realization is signing up for life insurance. Not that I'm headed to Iraq, nor do I have a high casualty job, but I am the head of household that works to provide for the family, so my absence would definitely put Babymamma and Babygirl in a tough place.

Anyways, as my 30th year of life approaches, I've noticed the themes that I'm surrounded by at work, at home, on TV, on the radio- it happens to be about the fragility of life. How things can seemingly change in a blink of an eye. It all started when I was watching TV, perhaps it had to do with being up for more than 39 hours straight, but the characters the plot lines, all were eliciting a range of emotions of frailty, and the uncertainty of what happens when a loved one passes away.

Thoughts of what it would be like to raise Babygirl as a single dad, the various things that Babymamma would have to encounter if I was on "life support." What if Babymamma passed away, would I go into a deep depression, and have an unquenchable yearning for my wife which leaves Babygirl in the unfair position of having lost her mom, and an emotionally checked out dad? Surprisingly I am more at peace with the inevitable passing away of my parents, of course it will be sad, but in many ways I think the loss of my wife or child will have a greater impact on me.

I have encountered or been exposed to a multitude of losses this week, sometimes it's a death, sometimes it's been neglect that results in a loss for someone else, sometimes a parent is coping with the loss of their boy who is now a teenager, sometimes it's a mom who's struggling to keep her marriage and family alive, loss is all around.

Of course Love is all around us as well. The problem is that it's more gripping to report/share about loss than it is with love. Perhaps this next decade of life, the new frontier into my 30's should really be about exposing the love that already exists within us and within others.

Being a dad, a husband, and husband has already increased my conceptions of love, but there can never be enough of it, and I can only hope that through the understandings of God's love for mankind will I be able to greater share love with others all around me.


A moment of balance and love