Things I Hope My Kids Will Not Do(in the future)

1. Write a book about growing up with their whacked out therapist dad or quote me like this guy to the whole world

2. Backlash from the kids about being bi-racial

3. Have a sense of entitlement

4. Waste resources

5. Hate each other beyond normal sibling rivalries/relationships
  

To: babygirl

Dear Babygirl, it's been awhile since I've written to you. Where has time gone? Almost every time I change your diaper, it seems you've grown, your legs are stronger, longer, and your clothes are getting much bigger or smaller.

It seems so long ago that I would have to rock you back to sleep, wait I still do that from time to time, but there was definitely a time when all you did was just want/needed to be held. These days your so busy that if I'm lucky I might get a hug and kiss out of you before I'm out the door.

Each day is certainly a new day, a new day of learning some new words, understanding new mechanical concepts, or figuring out how you fit into this world. It's been a such a delight to see your vocab increase, and your ability to communicate with us increase. Other times mommy and I have no idea what you're trying to tell us, but we eventually figure out. Like for some time you use to say "appasappadah" which after many weeks we figured out that it was your word for "applesauce."

I was certainly shocked when I reading the many books we repeatedly read before you go to sleep, that you actually knew all the words to the books. Well at least the last word of every sentence. Like I would read "A hog and frog cavort in a. . ." and you would definitely say "bog." Soon you were completing every sentence for almost every book, its interesting that you have the knowledge of these words, but only use these words in the context of these books, rather than every day language like the words "kitten, top, mitten, bog, work, etc."

What has also been great to see is what Mommy says is your recognition of details, always aware of which things belong to certain people. Even this summer you were able to recognize who's shoes were who's and would be able to bring them to the rightful owner. Like great-grandma, whom you only spent a long wknd with, you knew which shoes were hers, or what slippers she wore. You're also very aware of all the shoes that your pals at daycare wear, and always talking about who so and so is, and how "funny" they are, etc.

Another thing that's been great to see is your imagination/fantasy play work. George(Curious) has always been your pal since birth, but these days he's really like a buddy. He almost has to always travel with you now. You like to be fair and share all things with him, even knowing that he doesn't eat, you do feed him, and ask about food for him. You also will put some diapers on him from time to time, or push him around in a car/stroller, or anything that moves. George has been known to play "ring around the rosey" with you, dance, give you "high five and fist bumps," and you'll even "rock him like a baby." Of course the babydolls also get this type of maternal love from you, but George, he's your #1.

Along with caring, you also show budding signs of empathy. You're always quick to be very concerned when babies in public are crying. You'll often tell me that "he/she sad, need binkie." The concerned face you make is so serious, and you become so affected by their crying. You also express when your happy, and if someone is funny. Although, it seems anyone who's positive gets the "he/she funny!"

All these signs of caring, empathy, and playing mom has both mommy and I excited for the upcoming arrival of your sibling this spring. I know when you saw the ultrasound you thought and wishfully wanted a puppy, but I'm sad to say it'll be a little baby. Of course i suspect this will be quite a transition, but at the same time, I know that you're going to be great caring big sister. Perhaps you'll be the big sister that daddy always wanted when he was growing up.

You've begun to know/learn about Jesus. You love to have mommy and daddy re-read all the Bible stories. The act of praying before every meal and before going to bed is certainly a ritual you look fwd to, so this is all very promising, and positive towards raising you in a positive Christian home.

Needless to say, it's been a very active and busy past couple of months of development and growth on all levels. Despite daddy's crazy schedule, it seems we make the most of our time together. I certainly enjoy our Mondays together, and any chance that we get to watch football together(you always like to comment on people falling, and like the clapping that occurs in the stands, as well as the kicking and throwing of the ball).

Mommy and Daddy love you dearly, and excited that you're going to be big sister soon, whom you'll share and teach all these great things you've picked up along the way.

Love,
dad

In Love with Babygirl

Babygirl, it's been a pleasure to hang out with you the last two evenings without Babymamma. During this time I just had so much love for you, and I also became aware that I need to find the balance in my love. Otherwise I would regress back to freshmen year in college when I thought my then girlfriend was going to be the girl I would get married to and have kids with, that's not the type of love you'll need growing up.

With the absence of Babymamma we've gotten to bond, learn some new things, and just play. We learned a new body part- you now know where your tongue is, and stick it out quite frequently these days. We watched a couple minutes of BBC's Planet Earth, and you thought the polar bear cubs were "bow wow's,"(dogs) and empathized with their hunger, and offered them your "bopple" (bottle).

You've also been thriving in many ways, just eating everything in site, and you seem to be getting bigger, taller, and heavier each day, which is all a good thing (we're almost back up to double digit percentiles for your weight, yeah!). You're into climbing, and sharing your food, pacifier, bottle, with me and your stuffed animal pals. You've also discovered the word and concept of "mine," which is a shocker for both Babymama and I.

You've also had some difficulties at night, waking up due to not being able to find your pacifier, just being uncomfortable, etc. which has led to increased time we spend in the dark. Sometimes I sing, we'll re-read "Gossie," or sometimes we just rock. Most often you ask for "Geoge,"(Curious George) to help soothe you, and if I'm lucky you'll fall asleep with your head on my chest, like earlier this AM. It's all these little moments that makes my heart melt, and allows me to furiously ride my bike home to spend whatever time I have with you before you head off to bed, or I head off to my other office.

Despite getting older, it's good to know that I can still rock you to sleep, and teach you silly things. For now I can give you all this undivided attention and love, and that's ok.

Oops

Does this blog still exist? Obviously I've lost track of it, but actually it's been on my mind. One day I vow to post, and then it doesn't happen. I say I'll post when I have more time, and then more "post-able" stories come into play, and so I need more time, time I don't have and so 4 months later the blog devoted to dads and Babygirl is nonexistent.

Well on the eve of Babygirl's 1st birthday, I vow to get back into blogging, although I've decided to post regularly, albeit less lengthy and substantial posts. I've set the standard to simple Twitter-esque posts.


I've been a dad for a year, and it's been lots of fun. There are many things that are still foreign to me, and I have not spend an entire day with Babygirl by myself in the last 9 months. It still puzzles me how Babymamma can do it day after day, and most importantly I am lucky and happy that Babygirl is under the care of my wife. A woman whom I always knew would/could be the mother of my child, and do a good job at it.

As a dad I've fell into very boring gender type roles of being a "breadwinning dad," I work so that Babygirl can stay at home with Babymamma. Yes over the last year, I've worked many more hours, gotten a lot less sleep, and drank a lot more caffeine, waking up each morning knowing that Babygirl is happy, thriving developmentally in a safe and nurturing environment makes the long days, and sleepless nights totally worth it.

I'm sure many dads and mom try to find the appropriate balance btwn work and time with baby, and I can't honestly say I've found the balancing point, but for now, it works. Of course I wish I could spend more time with Babygirl, of course I miss her during the day, and of course Babygirl does not get all of my undivided attention when I am not at work, but we're all trying, and it continues to be a work in progress.

I guess being a dad, the ideals of being a dad, and the challenges of being a dad are ever evolving. For now, this is how it is. Also as a dad, the sense of providing for a family only renews my own depleted energies to continue to give back to Babygirl and Babymamma. Thank you both, and Happy early Birthday little one.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring

my apologies in not posting regularly or not regularly enough!

Spring, last year, this was a hectic time for Mamma and Daddy. We spent the latter parts of Winter and into Spring going to open houses and looking for a place that we could hang our hats and write all over the walls, with no fears of losing our security deposit. Going into Spring was exciting as the weather gave away, and snow was melting, and yes we finally found a place that we loved.

Spring was full of many firsts such as working with not so hard working real estate agent, borrowing large sums of money that we may or may not be able to pay back, hiring a moving company, and living in a new place that had a bathroom for Daddy and Mommy. Spring is also when the miracle of conception occurred too. Let's just say getting Mommy knocked up wasn't necessarily planned for Spring, but we didn't mind at all either :P

Although as dad's can be, Daddy began to be all concerned about how we're going to afford private school for you, all the cool toys that we never got, as well as how to avoid foreclosure, cuz babies aren't cheap, ya know? Spring was a time of much celebration, many answered prayers, and many blessings.

Summer, I wish I could say was full of great trips to the beach, and enjoying our new home. Daddy took a pay cut, at work, not because he's a bad worker, but more there was a "restructuring" of how people got paid for their work. Needless to say the income that Daddy was projecting to make for the year came to a crashing halt with the limit of not being able to make much more in the near future.

Thankfully the Summer was not overly oppressive, minus the heat waves that would come by. We entertained a few of Mommy and Daddy's friends where they officially could stay in the guest room, vs on the futon in the living room of our small apartment. We felt so grown up with our nice appliances and counter tops, as well as Mommy's interest in decorating and painting.

Summer was also a time mommy and daddy celebrated their 2nd wedding anniversary, with a nice day trip just a ferry ride away. We also became equally nervous and excited as the summer was coming to a close, how we would soon be able to meet you, as well as begin to alert the world of your developing presence in mamma's body.

Fall brought on many new changes for Daddy and Mommy. Mommy was really getting into the thick of things at work, and was getting more familiar and comfortable with her writing job. Daddy on the other hand was experiencing various challenges with job(s). Daddy took on more responsibilities at the clinic, which required more mtgs, and less direct time with clients. Daddy also signed a contract to join a private practice. Also in haste and uncertainty with our financial situation, Daddy also accepted a job at a local ER, covering on call over night shifts for any emergencies.

Again Fall was a time of much change and excitement. Another season of fervent prayer, and blessings in securing 2 jobs to make up the difference in Daddy's pay cut, and to help out when you were a real person in our lives. Fall was also when we first got to see you inside of Mommy, and also when Mommy was becoming noticeably pregnant.

Winter was all about taking things in strides. Mamma was growing uncomfortable as well as had difficulty with the various adjustment to being tired, hungry, emotional, etc. (of course not in that or any order). Winter also brought on the holidays which was celebrated with Daddy's side of the family visiting with us for almost a week, all of which we just took in stride.

Winter was also was a time of adventures such as Mamma's commute from hell, as well as precarious winter bike commuting by Daddy. Daddy would be lying if we weren't full of anxiety and worries for the future of this family, but again we stayed in stride, and just took everything on day at a time. And of course, our most exciting adventure of all, your arrival.

And here we are, back to Spring again, the thawing of winter allowed us to take you out in the strollers through our neighborhood. At this point, Mamma and Daddy we're about to throw in the towel on the lack of sleep we were getting, but we turned the corner, you started sleeping more, your personality started to shine through, as a family we survived the back to back to back visits of all 3 sets of grandparents, and you were just our very own bundle of joy to love, caress, kiss, take care, and sing to.

while summer is officially here, we expect many more adventures, prayers, and many more blessings with our life spent with you this season, and for many more.

Updates to babygirl

Babygirl, you're one day shy of being a dozen weeks old!

This past wknd being Patriots Day here in Boston, as well as Marathon Monday, daddy had a long wknd, and a long wknd it was spending with you. There was many moments of quality time all wknd long. I'm even beginning to think that you're even liking me a little bit more than the previous weeks. You're able to endure long periods of me holding you, and just hanging out with you, all this is evident by your smiles, new noises, and the sounds of premature laughs/giggles.

Some of the things you've enjoyed is daddy beatboxing, choreographing movements for various songs he sings, or general infant calisthenics to give those joints range of motion. You particularly like fist pumping, bilateral arm swings, and knee bends. We had a nice long walk in the arboretum, where I had you harnessed in the carrier, you slept the whole time, so I guess you liked it.

Mamma has been reading you kiddy books with pictures, while daddy continues to read you updates from Team Slipstream, Sports Illustrated articles, or anything else that daddy likes to read. Since there haven't been any vocal complaints with daddy's selection of readings, I will continue until you get bored and demand colored pictures about koalas, worms, or bears.

If you were wondering, there are less poopy diapers throughout the day, but that just means there's a 50/50 chance that we may have an explosive mess to clean up from time to time. Of course cloth diapering continues to be a big hit with your butt- no rash, and no complaints. Hopefully we'll have you in underoos in no time.

Yesterday daddy was able to get away and play some ultimate! I've been itching to play shortly after you were born. It was good to get out there, and scrimmage against a team that I was familiar with. Of course the team that I picked up was not so familiar to me, but it was good times. Like I told mamma, "expect cuts and blood," and of course I didn't disappoint. One left handed layout attempt at a pass that looked like it was for me, but wasn't, led to scrapes on the elbow, hip, and knee area, and minimal blood. As for first time playing and throwing since the fall, I felt pretty good. Had some good throws, no dropped passes, no stupid throws, and holstered the hucks. I also had one lucky D, where I jumped in front of my defender with my back towards the disc, and able to knock the flight of the disc away from my opponent, and negated the other teams attempt to score, yeah daddy!

Other than that, daddy's been able to run at least 2 times a week for the past 3 weeks, and that's been feeling great. Not feeling entirely fast, but hoping to get back some speed, lose some this slowly growing gut. I've also started doing yoga workouts from the DVR, pretty good way to start the morning while you're asleep of course. So now that you're older, daddy's been a bit more active, and even mamma's getting the itch to get away from strollering, and get back to rock climbing and what not.

You've been a joy so far, and you're doing some cool things these days, I hope that I can just keep up with you and catch them along the way!

9.5 weeks going on 13 years old

So Wed with daddy #4 went a bit better baby. You and I went to my friend's house who recently gave birth to a little girl just like you, except she had a little peanut head and generally just a bigger baby than she was. Daddy's friend also had a 3 y/o son who liked to talk and talk and talk. I think you weren't used to all this extra noise. On top of that daddy's friend also had her mother there, and she just kind of liked to talk and had something to say about everything.

You didn't embarrass Daddy too much, other than you did go into a mild crying fit, but luckily it didn't take too much to console you and get you napping in a swing. If it's any consolation, Daddy also wanted to cry since he wasn't used to so much talking from a little boy, all he wanted to talk about was how the pinwheel went around and around.

So I don't think you hate me as much as you did last week. Although when I hold you with our faces facing each other, you still fuss and cry. You don't like to be cradled by me. Basically I have to just face you outward, so you can just be ignorant about who's really holding you, I guess basically if it's not Mamma, you're unhappy, and you'll let people know about it.

You were able to eat/drink better this week, since my newly discovered trick of wrapping up your bottle in the burp cloth. Who knows why you'll only take a bottle like this for me, but when Mamma offers you a bottle, it's all good. Maybe only seeing a clear nipple, and having the bottle hidden away is sort of like Mamma's boobs?!? Still trying to figure it out baby. So I'm not feeling the hate as much as I did last week, but Daddy still loves you.

Looks like the weather is going to be nice on my last wed with you. Of course the new babysitter will also be checking in with us but perhaps we can do some fun things like get on the T, and walk around, get lost, and explore. :)

Happy Baby



Baby and the Boy who likes to talk

One month and counting

Yesterday, or exactly 4 weeks ago baby,you were born. I hope this milestone in your life is a good one for ya. In terms of developmental milestones, you're visually tracking things, you're still obsessed with light fixtures, and if needed, you can scream and cry while using the full capacity of your little lungs. You can also shed tears after prolonged crying :( Just recently you can't seem to take your eyes of mamma, but I guess that's to be expected since you hang out with her so much (I'm secretly jealous).

You're making a range of noises, sometimes like a baby Wookiee, to just grunts of a young girl who knows karate. Sometimes I make a range of noises from scatting to random undulating noises, and my all time favorite, pit noises from a Nascar pitstop (this is truly what daddy thinks when he's changing your diaper at night. Undoing those tiny snaps on your sleeper and onesie, taking off the diaper cover, undoing snappi fastener, put aside dirty diaper with one hand, while the other hand keeps both legs secured and butt off the changing pad, secure proper placement of new diaper, ensure proper and secure fit of snappi fastener, but this point baby you might be squirming, and post cold baby wipe, you're about to start crying. We're in the home stretch here, I may sometimes make tire changing noises while I'm putting on your diaper cover, sometimes fastening the sides together could be a challenge if you're crying, squirming or both. Othertimes the noises seem to distract you, OK, I'll admit it, it's fun to make your own sound effects. If you're really crying mom's awake, quite possible the neighbors are awake, so there's a quick hand off to top you off with mamma's milk., so we can get you back to sleepyland. Haven't timed myself yet, but perhaps one of these days mamma will catch this all on tape.)

Speaking of sounds, I've expanded your musical knowledge by singing you Rockabies from the Beatles, Smashing Pumpkins, the Cure, Led Zepplin, etc. You seem to really like D'yer Mak'er. There's never a dull moment when you hang out with daddy, whether it's reading you the news, magazine articles, giving you the play by play of a bball game on tv, etc.

Back to milestones, baby, you now have a belly button, you're little stump and dried up and fallen off. Mamma discarded it, she had no desire to save it, so blame her. It's hard to say if it's going to be an innie or an outie, but it ain't like I'm going to be buying you navel shirts anytime soon, so no need to get all self conscious about it. Now that the stump is dry, you've been enjoying baths, cuz you've grown up into a real bath tub, so yeah!

The cutest thing you do is still when you're sleeping- the range of expressions, half smiles, more noises, and arm/hand placement is adorable. Some of my favorite arm positions, are the both arms above your head like you're doing the wave, the thinker-one fist tucked underneath your chin, and I think it's cute when you soothe yourself with a finger, side of your hand or your fist.

It's been a great 4 weeks, a bit sleep deprived, and becoming more dependent on caffeine, but I'm loving every moment with you.

Back in the day. . .

Baby, it's been awhile since I've written to you. I just wanted to re-live pappa's glory days. Now daddy was no all state quarterback, or track star, instead he chose obscure sports so that he had a fighting chance to participate and be active.

In H.S. pappa played water polo for 4 years, he was also on the state championship team his senior year. He also swam on the swim team his freshmen year. In College, for some reason he decided to walk on to the swim team, and devote 4 years of his life and many holidays swimming back and forth in a pool. I also discovered ultimate frisbee in college and that was more dynamic than swimming was.

After College I continued to play ultimate frisbee 3 out of 4 seasons each year, started commuting by bike to work, took up rock climbing for a bit, and even trained and participated in 2 sprint triathlons. Of course this is all the major activities, this doesn't include stretching daily that I started in college, occasional to regular running, lifting weights, backpacking/hiking, etc.

Daddy is a man who likes to stay active, sitting at work, being stagnant is not enjoyable, he can feel his muscles going into atrophy from lack of stimulating activity.

Since your arrival, daddy has been pretty inactive. Even couple of months before you arrived, daddy had to stop running due to his first serious knee injury. While stretching, strength based work outs, and commuting by bike is great, he's really missed running in the cold winter mornings, missed going skiing/snowboarding, and is itching to play ultimate frisbee. While all the inactivity you would think daddy blew up like a blimp, but actually the whole birthing process, not sleeping, always running, and hanging out with you has led to actual weight loss, but after 2 straight weeks of nicely cooked meals by your grandma's, daddy's weight is back to normal.

While all the inactivity drives him crazy, it really is a joy to just spend an hour with you in the morning, instead of going out for a run. How daddy will juggle this as you continue to get older is TBD. I did calculate on my bike ride, when you're in your teens, it's possible that we can play on the same ultimate team, boy do I look fwd to that. Until then, I'm loving every non activity related minute and hours that spend with you. Let's just hope daddy doesn't have to start walking to work each day and only eating subway, like Jared.

Reflections on Love

As I have become a father, there have been many new things I’ve learned and many stories about my daughter that I can share. There have been two defining moments in my life that have made me learn new things about my Father. Many people have said the marriage union btwn a man and a woman is as close of an example of the love that our Father has for us. A partner who does not grow tired of waiting, loving, or supporting the other. This unconditional love is reflective of God’s love. Marriage has helped me to understand the unwavering devotion that God has for us, as well as how important Jesus’ grace is to us as Christians.

Another defining moment was the birth of my daughter. Everyday I look fwd to when I can spend time with her. More importantly I know that I get to spend as much time with her really late at night, or really early in the morning, when I wake up to change her diaper, or helping her go back to sleep after a feeding. Those moments, in the quietness of when the world is asleep, my daughter and I are awake, hanging out. Often times we sit in the rocking chair, sometimes I’m too tired to even hold her, but other times I sit and sing for my daughter. In singing sometimes she falls asleep or tries to stay awake to hear the melodies of hymns or church songs.

I’ve realized that only a parent who loves their child would wake up every 2-3 hours to sing to their child for 20mins to fall back asleep. Sometimes I think about the future when my daughter will cause me some pain or worry, but my love for her will never change. There may be moments in life when my daughter will claim to hate me, but my love will remain the same. I’ve also realized that regardless of how much my daughter says “I love you,” it will never equal the love that I have for my daughter.

How is it that I can love someone that I don’t even know, or someone who can’t express their love for me. It goes beyond logical reasoning that I would have utmost devotion to someone that may or may not love me back to the same degree. It is these thoughts that have made me realize and understand the true and exact love that my parents had and have for me when I was a child and as an adult. It is also how I’ve continued to learn about how God loves me.

Like my daughter, it is unlikely that my love for God will equal the love that God has extended to me. God sent his only son to live and die for me. God looks fwd to the time we spend with him. God’s love and grace for us only becomes more tangible to me as I begun to spend time with my daughter. The biggest difference as it says in Jeremiah 1:5 is, God knows us even before we’re born. Even though my daughter may know my voice, she doesn’t know me, and I don’t know her. The love I have for my daughter a complete stranger, who has lived with me for 2 weeks runs deep, how much deeper does the love of our Father run if he knew us before we were even born, before we began to pray, before we devoted our lives to him? The amount of love and grace that God extends to us becomes incomprehensible to human thought.

What a great and loving father we have in Heaven. What a delight it is for God to hear us sing and talk to him. What a delight it is for God to see his children in his house today. The idea of God’s unwavering and never ending love is basic, but also very complex. It has taken many life changing events for me to further understand this love. It is my hope that God will reveal the depth of his love to us in a very personal way before we spend an eternity in heaven learning more about God’s love.

Home, Sweet, Home

Baby, I forgot to mention that we did give you a cool name, but for privacy purposes, you'll continue to be referred to as Baby.

It's been nearly 30ish hours since mamma and I brought you home. I'll have to say waiting for the pediatrician to give you the final look over physical and critique mamma on correct alignment of teet to your mouth was excruciatingly long. Probably more than the previous 4 days with you, I was overcome with dread and fear the day we left the hospital. Not that the we left you in the care of nurses the whole time, or you slept in the nursery every night. Mamma and I hae been in action, playing the role of caretakers to ya, but something about leaving the safe confines of the fancy hospital made it oh so real, and scary.

Mamma had some good insights, it's going to be tough not having a new nurse every 8-12 hours who comes and tells us how you cute you are, and how superficially we feel proud of you, but really those surface level parental ego boosters only solidify, yes how cute you are, but also how could we not be good parents to you.

So while it's been quiet here at home, mamma and I have been busy, getting the cloth diaper system working, as well as just getting all the last minute things ready for mamma and your need. Most importantly I worry that mamma is eating enough and eating healthy foods. As well as resting enough to recuperate from her surgery.

I dread going back to work, realizing that, yes each day is a new day, and each day for you is a milestone that we will not be able to re-visit. So the thought of going into work even for a couple of hours seems like I may be missing so much, just imagine in a couple of months when there's walking and talking involved. Even since you've come home, you've been adjusting well to just mamma and I, and our condo.

You appear to be sleeping more that mamma's milk is freely flowing, and we hope that you get back to your birth weight. You also seem to need less soothing- I haven't had to sing you a song, nor use the pacifier. In the end you really are growing up each day, and you're doing it all by yourself. That alone seems so amazing and bring tears to my eyes, knowing that this is only the beginning of many sentimental moments in our lifetime together.

Going back to you Baby, you seem to like your makeshift bassinet in the pack and play, you also seem to like the lighting in our house, and generally the ceiling is of particular interest to you. You also like it when mamma reads you books, and you don't even seem to mind diaper changes anymore. Like I said, you're growing up so nicely, and it's almost happening too fast for this dad.

The rest of the story

Well my last post was on 01.31.08 at 11am. gosh hard to imagine all the moments and stories that occurred that day but here's the quick scoop.

As already mentioned, pitocin and epidural was on board, things were progressing. Midwife really worked with mamma to let her be in control of things, limit "lady land" exams and just let nature do what it knows best.

Well around 3pm it was determined the cervix was fully effaced and fully dilated to 10cm. Midwife continued to let mamma be in control of things and see if contractions would continue to get stronger. I believe sometime in the afternoon mamma was given more meds to decrease the back labor pains she was experiencing.

By 6pm, it was determined, lets start pushing. So mamma opened wide, and began to bear down, grunt and push, and boy she was pushing. The nurse was impressed with her strength as well as the midwife, but there was no crowning.

Baby, you must have been very happy and warm in the womb. Ya you were a week late, but also you had no intentions of really coming out despite pooping up in mamma, and risking great infections since all that water broke.

After 2 hours of hard pushing, it was determined that mamma had to consider options. Mamma determined to go with vacuum assisted delivery. So the important white MD's came in. Yamaka doctor was important white dude #1, and went in for the reach to see if there was any movement in the head during a push to determine if vacuum would work. Yamaka doc said it ain't moving and it ain't going to work. At this point, mamma also became violently ill while puking up lots of fluids- orange gatorade, water, etc. At that point her temp was 108 degrees, which basically meant she could have a fever due to an infection or something, which also meant baby could be at risk.

So at that point, mamma and White MD's decided C-section was the way. Mamma was rolled out to the OR, while I got to wear full scrubs and wait in the OR hallway like I was in trouble with the Principal. At that point baby, my head was flooded with thoughts of what you would look like, if there would be any complications with mamma getting her stomach cut open, etc. etc. It was all to surreal.

Finally, I was let into the OR, and there mamma was with the mask on, and splayed out in crucifix style- arms out to the side, and curtain divider up so that mamma couldn't see her inards being rearranged.

Dad got to see all the bloody mess, and it was cool. The all women surgery staff was quick, efficient, and amazing how they could manipulate various organs and stuff from one incision. Then you arrived baby, and boy the only think I could say or think about was, "whoa that's a big baby." It was beyond me how you fit up in mamma, and it made perfectly good sense why you weren't going to want to come out vaginally.

Baby girl, everything was so perfect, and the cheeks were the first thing that I noticed on you. Due to the c section you came out with perfect skin, no stretched out head, or anything like that. Such a cute kid you are, and mamma and I proud to take care of you for the remainder of time.

moisture:precipitation as pitocin:relief

Well it's fastly approaching the dawning of a new day. Baby we've seen a midwives shift change, as well as 2 nursing shift change. As we enter this last day of January, you've failed your dad in coming a day late, and already losing what little college fund he had saved up. I imagine it won't be the first or last time daddy gambles away the savings, jk.

On a brighter note, mamma loves to monitor her contractions on the machine that gives her an output of how intense things are as well as how fast your hear rate is. Mamma has been experiencing more contractions, and some have even been intense.

While things were calm, dad got to go get some food, where a woman felt up his stomach by a complete stranger. Not because I'm pregnant, because she wanted to emphasize that I'm skinnier than she is and that I was getting a salad for dinner instead fries. Stay in a hospital long enough, all the crazies start talking to you.

Baby, you're going to enjoy this liquid goo stuff that's being shot into mamma's hand. It's going to intensify these contractions and cause you to shoot on out at some point. Mamma's resting up for the push, and well I'm about to caffeinate myself to be ready to push on through as well.

You rest up and hold on for the big squeeeze!

"why are you on the computer?"

So baby we finally brought you to your first "lock in." It's been about 4 hours since we arrived, and well you haven't done much.

The good thing is that mamma feels that we're in a good labor room, although with it's 15inch TV from the 70's, and a HVAC system just as old, most of my physical movements have been going back and forth to the thermostat to adjust it when it's too hot or too cold.

Mamma is currently sleeping, which is wise, since who knows how long we'll be here. Even though it's been many hours since the water broke, you're still very content and happy in the womb. We're not scary people I swear. What up with all this passive laboring? We want mamma screaming, kicking, threatening dad, and some pushing. Guess you're going to make us wait some more

What we do know is that you're starting to poop a bit, not too much, but it's enough for people to be cautious and keep us here, and induce labor. Getting back to the fancy hospital, this mysterious gel that makes mamma's cervix open up like cavern is lost on route. Can we get a tracking code like UPS? We hope that this little bit of pooping lasts until potty training, seriously not looking fwd to monstrous ass explosions.

So baby, it looks like you may not make the Jan 30th, as predicted birth. At least mamma gets to sleep and I get to be lazy and chill.

What would labor rooms be like without wifi? Thanks to wifi, friends continue to IM me asking why I'm on the computer? Cuz I can, and have nothing else to do. C'mon baby lets get it going!

Why would you be on call?!?

I was in the ER when the I recv'd the call stating that your mom's water had broke. The only problem was that I was not in the ER of the hospital we would be delivering.

I was actually on call tonight, and got called in to do an eval on sad pregnant girl. While I was just wrapping everything up. The charge nurse informs me that there is another eval. I announce to the ER nursing staff that I will not be able to start this eval, cuz I needed to go back home to be with mamma who's water just broke. One of the old ladies who works the phone in the ER says, "why would you be on call?!?"

Well kid, here's the story, you're a week late, and you don't have a barcode we can scan to see when you'll be due. Rather in 2008, nurses/midwives continue to use this paper dial that supposedly estimates when you were to be born. So their projections are looking to be more than a week off.

Why was I on call when I should have been with mamma you ask? Well dad's gotta work, and especially enjoys getting paid to sleep, although I got called in. Good things I was able to wrap things up with teary pregnant girl. The drive back from the hospital that I work at was surreal, the thoughts of meeting you, all the things we would do together just became more vivid and intense. I'm surprised I even got a couple of hours of sleep.

It's now morning time when I would usually hop on my bike and head into work, but mamma's pretty sure we're going to the hospital. Mamma's snoring as she has been for the last 4 months, and my guess is when she wakes up, shower, shits, and eat, we'll be on our way for our "lock in" at fancy hospital.

Here's hoping that my prayers are answered for an efficient and speedy arrival. Hold on tight