What Kind of Dad am I?

While everyday pop psychology says that I"ll be a father just like my own father, or I'll try to do the polar opposite of what my father was like. Of course as a young idealistic dad, who's insightful and in-tune with himself (narcissistic?!?), I like to think I'll be able to bridge the shortcomings of my father and blend my own thoughts of what a 21st century father should be like. Of course this streaming thought of who I am was sparked by this article in the Globe today, The Parent Trap.

Where do my conventions and scripts for 21st century daddy-ing come from? Are there good models out there? I thought I would share a quick and not thoroughly researched (no google searches or in depth interviewing, and more whatever comes to mind first).

Here's what my mom sent to me before baby was even born.
1. Be Prepared, is entertaining, and informative in a basic and practical way, but is this all that entails in being a father. Is this all that pop culture expects from fathers these days? Is this the type of father I want to be. Don't get me wrong it's a great gift and fun book to flip through, but do I want to pimp this out to future dad's?

2. Expectant Father, reads more like one man's desire to add some substance to the literary "How to's" of being a dad. It's lengthy like it's most "How to be a mom" books, but again it's dry, there's forced humor that's plain, "mad corny, yo!" I can't say this book encourages or challenges me to be a cool dad.

3. Alternadad, how cool would it have been if my mom sent me this book. It's been a book that's been received with mixed reviews, from people who think it's a great portrayal of Generation X'ers as parents, to people who probably think it's forced and narrowly focused.

As the Globe article states, there are more ideas of what families are like on TV, but are these portrayals accurate? The article chooses to focus on Black families, and the portrayals of Black dads. Just like all things with the media, where my Asians at? I've noticed a proliferation of Asian actresses these days, but what about the Asian dudes out there? What about Asian families? It's not that difficult for writers to stay within conventions of ethnic stereotypes and give us an Asian dad who's a doctor or lawyer, or good at math. Or similarly, it wouldn't be that difficult to write a about an Asian dad who's working an office, or blue collar job. Maybe in my daughter's generation of writers and media will there be something more than white and black families.

The King of Queens portrays a blue collar husband than dad, but then again how many times have I've really watched this show. Homer Simpson is a highly fictional character that has moments of great fathering moments, but I can do better than someone in 2-D right? I'll have to admit I can only wish I was as cool as the Escalade driving Mac in the Bernie Mac Show. I'll have to say there are some great learning moments because we see Bernie make mistakes, and overreact, and correct them in a 30min episode, but I'm left feeling that what I just saw could be realistic in a similar situation with my daughter. When I watch Will Smith play Chris Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness, I see a man who cares, and would go to great lengths to protect and pursue the very best for his only son. In the end can I really emulate a man who was single dad raising a son in a shelter?

While I enjoy reading Steve's blog on being a dad, it's simply a blog that offer glimpses of what his experiences are, or more his observations on what living with his daughter is like. I can't say it challenges me in any way, and that's no knock on Steve, but if I'm truly to be a cool, hip, dad who's able to be a breadwinner, have a great relationship with his daughter, and still be the husband that my wife wants to sleep with every night, who will be my guide? Is this even possible or simply idealistic?

I like to think I can be a better dad than Lester in American Beauty, and I think I can be as cadid as Mac McGruff in Juno. Maybe I"ll be a successful dad and family man like John Edwards, he seems to have done a good job in raising his daughter. I guess time will only tell if the various depictions of fatherhood and dads help me more than hurt me. Perhaps it's just inevitable that I"ll just be like my dad, which in the end isn't he worse thing, cuz I'm content with being me.

What are people's thoughts? Are there great models for fatherhood out there, for a generation of 21st century kids we're parents to? Maybe there's a better blog out there someone can point me to?