terminology

Perhaps it's Babydaddy's own lofty ambitions to raise Babygirl in an environment that is a good mix of exposing her to the big bad world, while keeping her under the security of protective arms and watchful eyes.

If there's anything that Babydaddy sees in working with adolescents or pre-teens, as well as his own reflections on childhood is the lack of frankness and appropriate conversations parents/adults have with kids re: all things related to sex, drugs and rock and roll.

In all seriousness some States don't even allow for teachers to talk about sex, which is grossly lacking in the great Bay State that Babydaddy resides in. This lack of education puts even more pressure and importance on parents, and between soccer practice, afterschool activities, and what not, what kid or parent has time for a sit down conversations on any topic that requires being open and frank? May B btwn txt msgs ppl can fit in all da important 411.

Oprah likes to use the term "va-jay jay," babymama has been known to use such terms as "lady parts," "ladyland," etc. Lately babygirl is in that normal, natural age where when she's naked her hands naturally go to body parts that are 99% of the time covered by a cloth diaper. Of course it was cute when babygirl would refered to her gluteus maximus as her "bootee," but it wasn't so cute when she would touch her labia/vagina and say "coochie." Is there a double standard that Babydaddy thinks "booty" is ok(cuz he taught her this), but not "coochie"(cuz Babymamma taught her this)?

Babydaddy firmly believes that there should not be any shame, embarrassment, with correctly naming all of our God given anatomical parts. Babydaddy can't tell you the number of times he's played the "penis game" with his clients(this has nothing to do with inappropriate touching, or anything like that, just a game to help boys get used to saying body parts as candidly as saying "elbow" or "knee" or "penis.") so why wouldn't Babydaddy's own little girl grow up learning all the real terminology for these body parts?

It's Babydaddy's belief if we as parents can use appropriate language, it will allow for a more open dialogue regarding anything related to the body, which includes sex. If a child grows up knowing that certain body parts have cute little names, won't there be some great embarrassment, or unspoken stigma in bringing up serious questions about those same body parts?

So Babydaddy thinks Babymama is on board with referring to the correct body parts with the correct terminology for those parts. What are other parents doing? What did ya'll grow up calling those "private parts." I think it's interesting that the non-medical terminology for penis in Korean is the same word for pepper, as in red, bell, jalapeno pepper, how about in your own native tongue, any funny names?

Accents

Babydaddy has always enjoyed accents, and of course he always liked the English(UK) accent. Growing up in Canada, of course he was oblivious to Canadian accent, then moving to Michigan, who would have thought there was a Midwester accent? Going to college in Western PA he got exposed to Pittsburgh-ese, and of course moving to the Bean got him exposed to a whole new version of English, as well as the Irish brogue.

Come to think of it growing up in Toronto he also went to a school with a lot of Jamaicans, so he was definitely used to (one, two, tree, etc). Braveheart, Shrek(Mike Meyers), and Trainspotting got him into the Scottish accent.

Before babygirl could speak, he always wondered how she would sound-0f course it's sweet and totally cute. Happy to say she has yet to pick up any accent, if anything she pronounces things as she sees fit, and makes up her own words.

Of course the day Babymama reported that Babygirl has picked up on some of the subtleties of her daycare teacher, who's Jamaican, such as "wash yor hahnds," Babygirl also likes to say "you's." She also says "yah" like a Black lady. Babydaddy always though she would pick up a Scottish or English accent, since that's the accent most of her books are read in(what else is a dad to do when he has to read the same books over and over, might as well practice some accents).

Then again Babydaddy should have known, growing up in a city, and living in a diverse neighborhood, Babygirl was bound to pick up a hodge podge of accents. I'm sure it's only a matter of going to school she'll be exposed to a wicked good accent.

recent photo of our hipstah baby

Confessional

While Babymamma was out with friend, and while Babygirl were asleep, Babydaddy got stuck watching TV. Since it's a holiday week, there's nothing but bad movieson , but Babydaddy managed to sit through a movie he's seen several times.

There's something about a movie, that involved blue collar men behaving and doing blue collar work, like drilling into the ground to tap oil reserves. There's also something about space and flight that fascinates me, any space SciFi related movie(Star Wars, Star Trek, Aliens, Apollo 13, Top Gun, etc.). On top of all that you have actors who just play their interesting characters, nothing memorable or Oscar worthy, but nothing as bad as B movies. It also helps that you have a female character who's pale skinned and has dark hair(both my wife and mom have these features). Of course you have themes such as heroism, fate of mankind, love, brotherhood, trust, conflict, patriotism, underdogs, going rogue, a feel good ending, shots of ideal Americana, etc. Btw there's also a cheesy Aerosmith song that gets played at the end of the movie as well, and general likeable soundtrack.

Babydaddy could probably go on and on about the various scenes and dialogue that are compelling to him, but he'll save himself the embarrassment. Sure the science behind the movie, as well as the whole premise of the movie is highly unlikely, but it's a movie, and in the end it's compelling enough entertainment where you can get sucked into a movie and escape from the reality for a short period of time.

This movie was made in 1998, it has a cast of Bruce Willis, acting in a non cop Die Hard kind of way. You have Billy Bob Thorton playing a disabled man pre Monster's Ball. Ben Affleck before he started to over act, JLo or wife/kids and being a director. Michael Clark Duncan just playing a small roll, Owen Wilson playing a zany guy who gets killed, Steve Buscemi just getting into his character as he always does, and of course Liv Tyler.

If you haven't figured it out already, this movie is a Michael Bay movie called Armageddon.

So there you have it, what this says about Babydaddy, I don't know, but it's one of those movies when on TV, I can't just pass it up. Even though I keep telling myself, I'll just watch until this next scene, I just end up watching the whole thing. I'm a sucker. Babymamma knows I'm a sucker, and hopefully Babygirl doesn't know I'm a sucker yet.


*the most reassuring for Babydaddy is that he's not alone in getting sucked into this movie each time it's on TV, just read some of the reviews.

To: babygirl

Dear Babygirl, it's been awhile since I've written to you. Where has time gone? Almost every time I change your diaper, it seems you've grown, your legs are stronger, longer, and your clothes are getting much bigger or smaller.

It seems so long ago that I would have to rock you back to sleep, wait I still do that from time to time, but there was definitely a time when all you did was just want/needed to be held. These days your so busy that if I'm lucky I might get a hug and kiss out of you before I'm out the door.

Each day is certainly a new day, a new day of learning some new words, understanding new mechanical concepts, or figuring out how you fit into this world. It's been a such a delight to see your vocab increase, and your ability to communicate with us increase. Other times mommy and I have no idea what you're trying to tell us, but we eventually figure out. Like for some time you use to say "appasappadah" which after many weeks we figured out that it was your word for "applesauce."

I was certainly shocked when I reading the many books we repeatedly read before you go to sleep, that you actually knew all the words to the books. Well at least the last word of every sentence. Like I would read "A hog and frog cavort in a. . ." and you would definitely say "bog." Soon you were completing every sentence for almost every book, its interesting that you have the knowledge of these words, but only use these words in the context of these books, rather than every day language like the words "kitten, top, mitten, bog, work, etc."

What has also been great to see is what Mommy says is your recognition of details, always aware of which things belong to certain people. Even this summer you were able to recognize who's shoes were who's and would be able to bring them to the rightful owner. Like great-grandma, whom you only spent a long wknd with, you knew which shoes were hers, or what slippers she wore. You're also very aware of all the shoes that your pals at daycare wear, and always talking about who so and so is, and how "funny" they are, etc.

Another thing that's been great to see is your imagination/fantasy play work. George(Curious) has always been your pal since birth, but these days he's really like a buddy. He almost has to always travel with you now. You like to be fair and share all things with him, even knowing that he doesn't eat, you do feed him, and ask about food for him. You also will put some diapers on him from time to time, or push him around in a car/stroller, or anything that moves. George has been known to play "ring around the rosey" with you, dance, give you "high five and fist bumps," and you'll even "rock him like a baby." Of course the babydolls also get this type of maternal love from you, but George, he's your #1.

Along with caring, you also show budding signs of empathy. You're always quick to be very concerned when babies in public are crying. You'll often tell me that "he/she sad, need binkie." The concerned face you make is so serious, and you become so affected by their crying. You also express when your happy, and if someone is funny. Although, it seems anyone who's positive gets the "he/she funny!"

All these signs of caring, empathy, and playing mom has both mommy and I excited for the upcoming arrival of your sibling this spring. I know when you saw the ultrasound you thought and wishfully wanted a puppy, but I'm sad to say it'll be a little baby. Of course i suspect this will be quite a transition, but at the same time, I know that you're going to be great caring big sister. Perhaps you'll be the big sister that daddy always wanted when he was growing up.

You've begun to know/learn about Jesus. You love to have mommy and daddy re-read all the Bible stories. The act of praying before every meal and before going to bed is certainly a ritual you look fwd to, so this is all very promising, and positive towards raising you in a positive Christian home.

Needless to say, it's been a very active and busy past couple of months of development and growth on all levels. Despite daddy's crazy schedule, it seems we make the most of our time together. I certainly enjoy our Mondays together, and any chance that we get to watch football together(you always like to comment on people falling, and like the clapping that occurs in the stands, as well as the kicking and throwing of the ball).

Mommy and Daddy love you dearly, and excited that you're going to be big sister soon, whom you'll share and teach all these great things you've picked up along the way.

Love,
dad

<3

It's been awhile, but it's also been really busy. There's so much to report on, but the most exciting thing happened today.

For the first time to my knowledge, Babygirl said "I love daddy" while hugging the toilet. She wasn't sick, but nonetheless while we were in the bathroom, she said "I love daddy, I love mommy.

Pretty cool moment.

here's a cool pic of Babygirl

Loud and Proud

Babymama is a great mom, and wife. I don't often verbalize these sentiments enough.

It's been a long and crazy week for our family. While it is true Babydaddy has been reunited with his family with a car that runs, Babygirl and Babymama have probably not really enjoyed my company this week.

While still nursing my mystery viral illness, that is more bothersome that debilitating, my arrival at home Tues night, started my life back at home right in the middle of the week, or right at the start of my crazy schedule. Ya see the beginning of the week is very chill for me, with a couple of appts on Sun, followed by some good family time in the evening. Mon, no work at all, and spending most of the day with Babygirl. Tues I return back to the clinic, but Tues night I'm at home with the family.

Coming home at the start of Wed, 12AM, I was already officially "on call"status for the hospital. Wed morning I was due back at the clinic, now being away for 2 days, I was not looking fwd to the madness. To complicate things, Wed AM's I go straight to a school to see kids at school, let alone I need to be there by 8:30AM. Wed night had me at my private practice. Thurs back at the clinic, but before I get to my office, I go straight to an alternative high school to meet with teen for the first 3hrs of the day. Then Thurs night is another night at my private practice. This particular Thurs, due to lack of coverage, I had volunteered 2 weeks ago to help cover the ER to start my on call shift earlier and was officially "on call" from 8pm to 8:30AM Fri. Of course I got paged right at 8pm. So right after all my clients at my private practice, I was rushing to ER to eval a confused man. Only then to be paged again half way home that I had another eval. Needless to say, I finally got home after midnight.

Fri, fairly straight fwd day, 8hrs at the clinic, and then home to my family for the longest stretch of time I'll spend with them all week. Pretty crazy week, pretty crazy schedule, but typically manageable when I'm not stranded in NY for a couple of days.

Throughout all this, Babymama has been holding down the fort, keeping Babygirl happy, healthy and clean. Babymama has also not been feeling under the weather, as well maintaining her own work schedule, teaching schedule, lesson prep, lunch prep, feeding herself, buying groceries, washing diapers, folding laundry, etc. etc. I can't even imagine the amount of energy and patience that was required to get through this week with Babygirl, as well as coping with my absence. Throughout it all Babymama has not been vindictive, or outright frustrated with me, and truly shows what a godly woman she is, who exudes with much motherly strength. I am most thankful and appreciative of all these wonderful qualities that Babymama, and also very lucky that she is my partner and spouse in this crazy life we have together.

Away From the Fam

Usually it's the other way around, I'm left at home with Babygirl and Babymama is enjoying much needed time away. This time around, by chance, the girls managed to get whisked away and I got left in the dust. They're at home and I'm away.

Well it didn't really happen like that, but here's the story. The Family and I decided to attend a wedding in western NY. Great wknd, caught up with old friends, stayed with an old friend, and when the wknd was over we were headed home.

Not an hour into our drive, the car just died, couldn't accelerate anymore, so I tried to start the car again, and nothing. Called 911 for the first time for a disabled car that was not a true emergency, and also txt-ed the girl who got married for the cell number of someone who was also lives in the same direction as us.

Lucky enough, the folks that live near us, probably left Western NY about half hour after we did, and was able to scoop up the girls and deliver them home by night, while I stayed back for the tow truck and wait up the inevitable repair that hopefully wouldn't take more than a couple hours the next morning.

Well next morning has turned into 2 mornings, and I hoping that it doesn't turn into a 3rd.

Obviously this has been upsetting for my girls, as well as everything else that was suppose to happen this week. Luckily work is fairly flexible so I can just cancel appts, and reschedule them, but I'm ready to blow this pop stand and get on home.

I don't know what my life has become here stuck in my friend's apartment, that I'm totally thankful and comfortable in, but I miss the chaos of Babygirl, pagers going off at night, riding my bike to work rain or shine, eating PB+J, falling asleep next to Babymama, Reading Babygirl books, etc.

It's probably a blessing in disguise that I'm apart from my family while I have mystery cold/flu like symptoms. That and my car is going to be like totally refurbished and ready to roll into it's 200,000th mile of life and more.

Wishful thinking is simply nothing more than that

There are mornings when Babygirl decides to wake up at some despicable hour, well not really, but earlier and hour or half hour earlier than normal. Then again on Sun AM's anything before 9am is despicable. Lately Babygirl is good to wake up 7-7:30AM window, everyday. There are always those AM's when she decides 5AM seems like a great time to start asking for a bottle, or 6AM when she just start crying because she wants out of her crib.

Well this AM it was 6AM, when she was crying, and was not going to soothe her own self back to bed. It turns out these chilly overnights make it chilly for Babygirl who doesn't believe in blankets yet, despite dressing her in warm clothes (if only she believed in wearing hats to bed like she did a year ago, sigh). Well after rocking her back to sleep, I laid her down back in bed, and not even 20mins later, she was back up stating she had a "poopy" diaper, and also needed a bottle, since she was so thirsty.

After all that, she had no interest to go back to sleep, and Babydaddy had no interest in staying up. So in my mind, despite knowing the likely outcome, decided to bring Babygirl to bed with Babymamma and I. Lets just say Babymama and I have tried this numerous time in the last 6 months and she's never once gone back to sleep with us. Of course I think, she's a bit older than the last time, and I'm just as tired, so in my wishful thoughts I think, ya she'll fall asleep, especially when she get's under that down comforter.

WHAT WAS I THINKING? Wishful thinking is like a form of delusion, just flat out crazy. Babygirl did start off pretty calm laying there, getting all cozy, before she poked me in my eye, sat up, bothered Babymama, and declared that the sun was up, roosters had already crowed and surely we had to get up too.

After 20mins, Babygirl and I started our Sunday at 7AM. Good thing I don't think Babygirl is despicable, nor am I delusional for loving this girl, but boy do I miss sleeping in on Sun's.

Yoga Baby

One of the interesting things about blogging as well as reading blogs is the fact that you're not sure how many people are actually reading the actual blog, or people who stumble across my blog by googling search words such as: "caffeine" or "frantic nurse," etc.

Very few people tend to leave comments here at cornucopiandad, but when people do, Babydaddy is definitely one to respond. So this post goes out to my friend way out there in China who asked for pics of Babygirl doing downward facing dog, so here we go.

Also feel free to post comments, and let it be known that you're a lover or a hater.


*sorry for the droopy cloth diapers








Rockin' the new Cons for 1st day of Daycare! Can ya tell Babygirl loves stickers?

things that elicit "More"

As Babygirl continues to develop and grow into being a little person, she's acquiring things she likes and things she doesn't like, as well as the verbal capacity to let Babymamma and babydaddy know what's up. The good thing is that not every question or thing is answered with the word, "No." It's interesting how babies gravitate to a two letter word that's so powerful, but the issues of asserting power is a topic for another day.

So here's the unofficial list of things Babygirl likes:
-baths in a tub with a bathmat, with never ending supply of water from the tap
-"nonnies" also known to you and me as raisins
-whole milk with strawberry Pediasure mixed in
-tuna, the girl loves it
-"Geoge" aka Curious George her daily companion and sleeping pal
-"Elco" aka Elmo another member of her entourage
-"I push the butt" aka I want to push the button on the cd player so I can rock out
-"wahhhk" aka walk, way too cool to ride in the stroller these days
-sitting in the potty for 5 seconds
-climbing into my own high chair when it's time to eat
-"bye bye poopies" said when we flush her poopies away
-balls- loves to throw them
-collecting and gathering objects
-wearing Babymamma's jewlery, watch, shoes, etc.
-looking at "baby" pics, when really they're pics of her from a year ago
-"rock" loves throwing rocks into the ocean
-loves any kind of body of water- salt, fresh, dirty, clean, cold, etc.
-swings- wants to test ride every swing, until she finds the right one @playgrounds
-downward facing dog- loves that yoga stretch
-going through Babydaddy's wallet
-"i see ball" she also shares other things she sees like bikes, etc.
-"i have foot" doesn't realize yet that she has feet
-"haaht" said when her food is hot or her car seat, or whenever

her ongoing obsession these day is the following clip:

Babygirl will ask to watch "Elco" several times a day, and is mesmerized by the singing of India and Elmo. You can even watch her trying to mouth the letters of the alphabet, and soon enough Babydaddy thinks she'll just sing the whole song in one shot.





Babygirl continues to bring much joy and love into our home, and Babymamma and I love it!

Is IUD the bomb?

IUD or IED, what's the difference? Intra-Uterine Device or Improvised Explosive Device, often times both are difficult to find, and both are used as a prevention method.

In the case of IED, they're often buried in the road so unwanted vehicles or people(aka, US soldiers occupying foreign land) going by would detonate the explosive devise. In the case of an IUD, it's typically carefully implanted by the Gynecologist which prevents from sperm from fertilizing an egg, as well as if an egg was fertilized it would have difficulty attaching to the uterus.

Why is this an important note to dads? Well sometimes Moms like to get Dads involved in the birth control process, whether is equal sharing of who buys the condoms, to the the dad who reminds the mom to take the birth control pills, etc. As this article states, IUD are not too popular in the US, while in other parts of the world, it's widely used amongst women. I am sure there are many woman who dread the idea of going back on the pill, the possible weight gain, the hormonal changes/imbalances, etc.

Perhaps the Dads out there can suggest the IUD, no hormones, low cost, no mess. While the NuvaRing is similar, other than you have to keep putting it in and taking it out, I've heard it was never designed for women who are sexually active with well endowed man(true story, personal friend had to call NuvaRing customer service on why the ring wasn't working for her and her man).

What would be best form of birth control for your family? IUD, BCP, Tubectomy, Vasectomy?

Four Days Away

Babymamma was away for the past 4 days. Luckily, Babydaddy has a mamma who wanted to come and hang out w/Babygirl and help me out with the logistics of balancing work, play, and life.

Oh there were adventures and mishaps, but most of them did not include Babygirl. Eachday she would tire herself out with endless shenanigans and theatrics she would perform for her Grandma. It probably included: her ability to climb on to things, her games of wanting more milk but not really wanting, but wait I think I want it now, saying "bye poopies," as someone flushes the toilet, running around in the ocean, playing in the sprinklers, saying "no," "oh-oh," "no way," learning new words like "walk," "rock," "wet," throwing balls around, reading many books, dancing, stretching, trying on hats, trying on Babymamma's shoes, putting on bling, putting diapers on her dolls/stuffed animals, and lots of hugs and kisses.

Babygirl got to bond with Grandma, Babymamma got to get pumped up at a conference, and Babydaddy got to spend more time with Babygirl as well.

Summer living ain't too shabby when Babygirl provides all the laughter.

Me, Grup, U?

An astute friend of mine passed along this article from the NYMag, about Grups, or Grown Ups, or basically hipster dads. Interestingly the article was published in 2006, since I wasn't a dad back then, nor have I ever read the NYMag, I guess I never came across the article.

I guess Babydaddy here wants to know, how many dads outside of NYC, identify with the dudes in this article? By no means am I hipster, dress down techie who has a flexible schedule and buy Ramones onesies for Babygirl. I do live in the city, I do commute by bike, not a fixed gear bike, I do have a collection of retro shoes, I also do like to go through the sales rack of Urban Outfitters, but I certainly don't have time to be chasing indie bands, wear retro t-shirts from the 80's, or quit jobs frequently to fit my lifestyle.

I do feel as a dad and adult, I long to hold on to Passion. I long for more passionate parenting experiences with Babygirl, I do hope that I can foster her own passions, rather than conform to molds of what's socially acceptable or a passing fad at the moment. I also hope that my jobs do not stifle my passions for my own pursuits. I guess like many hipster dads, I don't want to just live to work, so that I can work to live. I know I won't be carrying a briefcase anytime soon, and I'm happy going sock-less most days of the years, but is that going to be enough to keep the Passion alive? Isn't the chase for staying young and being youthful and passionate a losing battle in the end?

Everyone is looking for something to bring meaning to their lives, sometimes it's family, sometimes it's who we associate with, sometimes it's a revolutionary movement, or political affiliation, at the end of the day my Christian identity makes the most sense to me and helps me to stay grounded and not get caught up in emotionally charged/uplifting groupings.

What drives your ideas of adulthood, parenthood, or being Grup?

Vacation Tips

While Babydaddy has traveled a bunch with Babymamma, before baby was included in our names, the 4th of July wknd, was our first opportunity to travel w/Babygirl which did not include attending a wedding, figuring out how to get a baby through airport security, or visiting family.

I think the #1 idea of thinking about traveling with a baby should not be about costs. Of course you should always stay within budget, but let me explain. While we went for pricier accommodations, it was totally worth the cost. First we stayed in a suite, which allowed for us adults to stay up well past a child's early bedtime. It also gave kids enough space to run around and not feel like they are trapped in a hotel room. We also had access to a full sized fridge and kitchenette if we wanted to cook in(who wants to cook on vacation). Of course there was a pool, which is always nice for the kiddies, what kid doesn't love to swim? There was also a very nice hot tub for the adults too.

With the nice suite option, we had a better than expected continental breakfast, that was not your typical, heat your own waffles, eat boxed cereals, and drink some coffee breakfast. Every breakfast was slightly different, but great, and everyone took full advantage of the free food. Eating a good breakfast, which also had good coffee, cut down on costs for snacks before lunch, and allowed for a small lunch rather than big lunch.

Where you spend extra money on accommodations, it seems that we were able to cut corners on meals. Only because Babygirl just doesn't do well in sit-down-restaurants, which allowed for Babymamma and I to go get quick sandwiches, go to off the tourist path's eateries and have real conversations with hipsters working their summer jobs. We would make Rachel Ray proud in accomplishing $40 a day on meals for three.

While Babydaddy typically likes to get the most of traveling and pack in as many things as possible, but with Babygirl in tow, I made very loose plans, and left it up to Babygirl's mood, weather, and various other factors that could come up with traveling with a baby. So being flexible and just enjoying the fact that you're out of town, or don't have to worry about cleaning should be much appreciated of any vacation.

While Babygirl did get out of some routines and rituals, it was vacation and we tried to roll with it. For instance Babygirl got to co-sleep with her parents for the first time. The pack n play wasn't working out. Of course trying to keep some thing predictable and same as home is much more comforting for kids, even if they are on vacation.

Of course any destination that has plenty of outdoor space, playgrounds, children friendly places(museums, stores, restaurants, activity places) are a must. I would say it could be difficult to find balance btwn fun things for the parents and fun things for kids/babies, but being a part of your child's exploration of a new place, or new thing is pleasure in itself!

Go out and and explore!

While we did not fly to our vacation this time, we have traveled extensively on airplanes with Babygirl, since she was less than a year old.

(In)Audibles

Babydaddy typically has to entertain Babygirl when she's getting her diaper changed so she doesn't cry or fuss too much with the procedure. Typical the dialogue includes, "Where's your hair?" and she grabs her hair, "Where's your belly?" and she'll pat her belly. "What does mamma say?" and she says, "ssshhhh" (from the song, Wheels on the Bus- the mammas say "sssshhhh"). I'll also ask, "What does the pirate say? and she'll say "arrrg".

We recently branched into animals like cow, bear, lion, doggie, still trying to get cat/kittens, sheep, duck and horse down. Interestingly, as auntie TP came to visit this wknd, she got stage fright and forgot all her animal sounds. Now when I ask "What does the lion say?" Like a good Asian girl, she'll cover her mouth and giggle. The same goes for the bear sound. Truth be told the bear and and the lion sounded the same, but when will the roars come back?

It's quite interesting how Babygirl has acquired language, or has stopped acquiring language. For instance despite Babydaddy and Babymamma asking if she wants "raisins" each day, she'll agree and state she wants "nonnies." Despite not really watching TV, she now knows who Elmo is, and refers to Elmo, as "Elco." Again despite corrections, her parents say "Elmo" and Babygirl says "Elco." Guess we got a strong willed baby.

Another word she has been saying repeatedly is "bucky, bucky, bucky." No one has any clue what she's referring to, but she seems to enjoy saying it and is typically smiling when she says it. The only thing I can think of is when I would call ducks, "ducky."

On the flip side, her comprehension of proper English words, commands and what not is improving. We can ask her to sit, and if she wants, she'll sit. When we ask her to use gentle hands, her lobstah claws transform to paint brushes. She can typically put things where she found them, when I ask, this especially comes in handy when she's taking out every card from my wallet.

One of the strangeest thing is that she'll wake up in the middle of the night and ask for a "bopple," not necessarily to drink, but just to have. Babymamma and I have discovered she just likes the comfort of a cold bottle near her at times, so we've now always have a babybottle filled with water on ice.

Babygirl is weird, but we continue to love the joy she brings to our lives.

It's So Hard. . .

. . . to say goodbye to Babygirl these days. Just the other day I held Babygirl, gave her a hug+kiss and began to leave just like every other weekday morning, only this time Babygirl let me know how she really felt. Babygirl threw down her sippybottle with vengence, began to scream/cry and stomp her feet. I was frozen in my tracks, how do I leave a girl who's clearly unhappy with saying goodbye.

I wouldn't say that Babygirl is more clingy, or needy, but I would say we continue to have our own special moments where we come up with new ways to bond, find new ways to laugh, or silly new things we learn together. She's into independent play, able to self soothe, and ask for things.

I guess in some ways my schedule has changed as I've been playing ultimate frisbee this summer(something I look fwd to starting in Feb). I'm away 1-2 nights a week for ultimate, but on top of that I'm working 2 evenings a week, so that really leaves very little time for quality time. Also in the mix, has been 7:3oAM physical therapy appts x2/week, which takes away from some AM bonding(although that's going to end this Fri.)

I wish I could say that Babygirl is just exhibiting large emotions with goodbyes, but it really doesn't happen when Babymamma goes out, or when we're leaving someplace, but it only seems to occur when I'm leaving by myself. I guess she's really letting me know how she feels, and I can't help but sigh, and feel guilty and sad for leaving.

It would be one thing if I just never came home, and I was perpetually absent every night, but it's the small amount of time that I'm home which is just a tease for her and perhaps gets her all excited to see me, and then quickly I'm going out the door. I can only hope that things will get better in time, but perhaps in time Babygirl will only begin to expect that "daddy just likes to go places with me."

I guess in many ways Babydaddy has got to do some thinking about his whereabouts on a day to day basis, and re-think his schedule, even if it means cutting back in work. How have other dealt with the balane btwn spending time with family vs. providing for family vs. balancing the needs of one own's self and sanity?

Father's Day

Happy Father's day to all the dads out there. I hope everyone is relaxing and not having to mow the lawn or anything.

As Obama says, "Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father."

I hope that every dad is encouraged by the people around them to continue to persevere as fathers with the various challenges and difficulties of home, work, and the world around us.

May we continue to have the courage to be present in the lives of our children, the mothers of our children, and for the children whose fathers are not present in their lives.

not because i'm lazy

not sure why the posts have been slow and non existent, but in the absence of all this, i found an appropriate dad article for folks.

i can't say i'm like this writer, but i do like his question re: needing to reinvent the perception and conception of the American Man.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/06/09/man_up/print.html

Monkey Love

Do ya'll remember those sock monkeys that we grew up with, they hand long gangly arms and legs, and the best part was that the hands had velcro on them so they could connect so you could wear your monkey around your neck like big ol fuzzy bling, 80's style? Well I never had one of those, but I don't think I was missing much. I don't even think I was missing much when I didn't have my own Coco the Chimp.

After Babygirl's little bout with having a cold- waking up in the middle of the night due to fevers, runny nose, etc., we got a nice little bond going on. On the flip side, she's not sick any more, but she's going through a needy stage, and does not like to be consoled by Babymama if I'm around. I think the for the last couple of mornings, I've had to make my breakfast+lunch while holding Babygirl in one arm, just like one of those monkey with the velcro hands.

Sometimes Babygirl is pats me on the head, or strokes my hair with her hands, other times he hands morph into a mean Bahston Lahbstah Clah or a violent monkey and leaves marks on my face or neck. I enjoy being a source of reassurance, sense of safety, and nurturing Babydaddy, but c'mon Daddy also needs to be productive and efficient with his AM routines, as well as not go into the office like a rabid squirrel landed on his face while biking to work.

Irregardless(Babymama's least fav word), I still love this monkey baby of mine, and will continue to take the good with the bad, but really it's not even that bad, so it's really a whole lotta good, mixed with equal amount of love.

In Love with Babygirl

Babygirl, it's been a pleasure to hang out with you the last two evenings without Babymamma. During this time I just had so much love for you, and I also became aware that I need to find the balance in my love. Otherwise I would regress back to freshmen year in college when I thought my then girlfriend was going to be the girl I would get married to and have kids with, that's not the type of love you'll need growing up.

With the absence of Babymamma we've gotten to bond, learn some new things, and just play. We learned a new body part- you now know where your tongue is, and stick it out quite frequently these days. We watched a couple minutes of BBC's Planet Earth, and you thought the polar bear cubs were "bow wow's,"(dogs) and empathized with their hunger, and offered them your "bopple" (bottle).

You've also been thriving in many ways, just eating everything in site, and you seem to be getting bigger, taller, and heavier each day, which is all a good thing (we're almost back up to double digit percentiles for your weight, yeah!). You're into climbing, and sharing your food, pacifier, bottle, with me and your stuffed animal pals. You've also discovered the word and concept of "mine," which is a shocker for both Babymama and I.

You've also had some difficulties at night, waking up due to not being able to find your pacifier, just being uncomfortable, etc. which has led to increased time we spend in the dark. Sometimes I sing, we'll re-read "Gossie," or sometimes we just rock. Most often you ask for "Geoge,"(Curious George) to help soothe you, and if I'm lucky you'll fall asleep with your head on my chest, like earlier this AM. It's all these little moments that makes my heart melt, and allows me to furiously ride my bike home to spend whatever time I have with you before you head off to bed, or I head off to my other office.

Despite getting older, it's good to know that I can still rock you to sleep, and teach you silly things. For now I can give you all this undivided attention and love, and that's ok.

State of Panic

It's been almost 2 years now where I have gone to bed with the possibility of being awakened. The fall of 2007 is when I officially began moonlighting at a local hospital as their on call psych emergency guy from 12am to 8am couple nights a week. After a few months, Babygirl arrived.

Often times I'm confused or just simply pissed when I wake up to the pager going off. There was a time when Babymamma thought an ice cream truck crashed into our place due to the ringtone of my pager. These days, I grab my pager instinctively, and wake up with pager in hand wondering how I woke up without remembering hearing the pager ringing.

After more than a year, the shrill of Babygirl crying still jump starts my slow beating heart to full on panic. Not sure what I'm scared of or panic-ed about, usually Babygirl just needs her pacifier, often times milk, or is just letting out some cries while she's sleeping.

Babygirl is safe, we lock doors and windows, she's healthy, we're past SIDS stage- not sure if Babymamma ever awakens in a panic due to the cries, but I still do.


No worries, Babygirl is really not a Buckeyes Fan.

Where's Your Nose?

As Babygirl continues to grow and hit her developmental milestones, it's just been fun to sit back and watch her pick up new words and new concepts. She's really into figuring things out, and likes to hide things and come back to them seconds later just to know that they are still there.

I think in a few years we'll be strapping Babygirl into harness so she can go rock climbing with us. She just loves to hook that heel and pull her self up on to boxes, shelves, chairs, etc.

Another thing we've enjoyed is getting her familiar with her body parts. Babymamma and I are not progressive enough to read to her Spanish and Korean, but at least we can help her learn some body parts in English. Most days she can point to her where ears, nose, mouth and belly. Although lately, she's getting some things confused or not playing the game at all.

The funniest thing is that when we ask her, "Where's your nose?" She'll take her right pointer finger right up her right nostril, and say, "No, No-se." How she learned how to stick her finger in her nose, and why only her right nostril beats me, but it's a sight to see. What a funny gal. Fatherhood is full of fun times, I can't wait until she's saying the most hilarious things.

Fragility of Life

Becoming a dad has definitely led me to be more in tuned with the fragility of life. Perhaps one extreme form of this realization is signing up for life insurance. Not that I'm headed to Iraq, nor do I have a high casualty job, but I am the head of household that works to provide for the family, so my absence would definitely put Babymamma and Babygirl in a tough place.

Anyways, as my 30th year of life approaches, I've noticed the themes that I'm surrounded by at work, at home, on TV, on the radio- it happens to be about the fragility of life. How things can seemingly change in a blink of an eye. It all started when I was watching TV, perhaps it had to do with being up for more than 39 hours straight, but the characters the plot lines, all were eliciting a range of emotions of frailty, and the uncertainty of what happens when a loved one passes away.

Thoughts of what it would be like to raise Babygirl as a single dad, the various things that Babymamma would have to encounter if I was on "life support." What if Babymamma passed away, would I go into a deep depression, and have an unquenchable yearning for my wife which leaves Babygirl in the unfair position of having lost her mom, and an emotionally checked out dad? Surprisingly I am more at peace with the inevitable passing away of my parents, of course it will be sad, but in many ways I think the loss of my wife or child will have a greater impact on me.

I have encountered or been exposed to a multitude of losses this week, sometimes it's a death, sometimes it's been neglect that results in a loss for someone else, sometimes a parent is coping with the loss of their boy who is now a teenager, sometimes it's a mom who's struggling to keep her marriage and family alive, loss is all around.

Of course Love is all around us as well. The problem is that it's more gripping to report/share about loss than it is with love. Perhaps this next decade of life, the new frontier into my 30's should really be about exposing the love that already exists within us and within others.

Being a dad, a husband, and husband has already increased my conceptions of love, but there can never be enough of it, and I can only hope that through the understandings of God's love for mankind will I be able to greater share love with others all around me.


A moment of balance and love

Peek-a-boo!

So many things have been going on with Babygirl these days. She's taking more steps each day, she's into figuring out how things open, gathering things and putting them in various containers, she continues to love slides at the playground, and she's learning new words each day. I've also had some nice extended times/day hanging out with her.

Lately she's been against having her diaper changed, so like most things, we had to make a game out of it. While she's laying on her back, getting ready to be changed, we play peek-a-boo. Something she manged to learn at 11month, and several months later, she's still hamming it up, and loving the game of peek-a-boo. Sometimes she even covers my face so that I can play peek-a-boo with her. As you can imagine, it's full of laughter, smiles, and it's all so cute.


On a side note, it's been difficult trying to stay fit and exercise. Something that has been helpful is squeezing a stress ball at work with one hand, working the forearms. Such a simple exercise and a mild burn in the forearms has led to them getting stronger, which has helped me push past my previous threshold of the number of consecutive push-ups I could do. Perhaps all this time, it wasn't about me being weak but more the stabilizing muscles that allow me to do push ups were weak, any thoughts?

Other than that if I didn't commute by bike, who knows what I would look like or feel like. As we approach almost 2 years of living in our condo, I'm quickly approaching the approx 2000 mile mark of biking. My lifetime mileage of biking is probably closer to 2700 miles. Other than my life with my family, faith in God, prayer, and biking have been one of the most important things to healthy/happy living. Any other dads commuting by bike?

Doubleback

For whatever reason, my schedule allowed me this past Sunday to run errands with Babygirl. I got out of work early, and Babymamma had some assignments to finish, so she sent me on the monthly Trader Joe's run, while also stopping at the New Balance Outlet Store to return some shoes.

You can only imagine that Babydaddy was excited to go out alone with his Babygirl. Babygirl was well behaved in the car, we sang some songs, and ran our errands. Despite the craziness of crashing carts at TJ's, and mad white people sporting Patagonia, Mountain Hardware, North Face, Marmot, and Arc'Teryx all for a shopping trip on a cold Sunday in the city via car(not by bike, snowshoeing, skiing, etc. This is obviously a whole different topic, but c'mon is it really necesary?).

Anyways, after a successful trip and many laps around the store, we left feeling good. No meltdowns, no crying, Babygirl was happy with some pretzels and a bottle of water. On the way home, I glanced back and noticed her sleeping, and also that a shoe was missing! I waved my arm towards the floor hoping that Babygirl had kicked it off while I was still driving, no shoe. When we arrived home, there was no shoe to be found anywhere, but Babygirl was still asleep.

After handing Babygirl to Babymamma, I said, "We lost a shoe, I'm going back to TJ's to find her shoe." She was like "Really?" "Ya shoes are expensive, . . . peace." In the back of my neurotic mind I was thinking, "Great, the one time that I go out with Babygirl I lose a shoe, this will be the last time I'll get to go out unsupervised, or more importantly it shows how I'm really careless, or can't multi-task, etc., etc."

Doubling back to TJ's with some traffic, I got to the parking lot, and lo and behold, found the shoe underneath a Porsche SUV(what kind of outdoorware do you think the owner was sporting?), the shoe must have fallen off when I hastily took Babygirl out of the shopping cart and into the cat. Not sure why I was hurrying, yes it was cold outside, but it's not like the car was warm.

Lesson learned, no more hasty exits from the shopping cart, therefore avoiding to double back, waste gas, waste money, and waste time on a Sunday. Worst of all, by the time I came back, Babygirl was already in bed, doh!

Am I still in the running for Babydaddy of the year?

What's in a Shoe?

Babymama informed me that other day that Babygirl ". . .did not want to grow up any more, simply stay a baby." I inquired very perplexed how Babygirl could have conveyed her desires to be like Peter Pan.

Well, apparently Babymamma decided to help Babygirl with her walking, she would get her out of her soft soled shoes, and upgrade up to big girl shoes with the firm sole. I guess Babygirl had opinions of her own and was inconsolably crying and just not having any of this firm sole shoe stuff.

Since then Babygirl has been reluctantly wearing her big girl shoes whenever she can, she's still intrigued with these clunky things on her feet, but I think she'll grow to like them. The move to big girl shoes got me all excited for a the 4 pairs of Converse All Star hightops I got her in an array of sizes(they were on sale), I think by summer, she'll be the cool kid sporting her black Chuck Taylor's.

Surprisingly, when I showed Babygirl her new shoes, she was really excited, and even gave her new shoes hugs and kisses. Perhaps this is just the beginning of a life long Babydaddy approved relationship with Chuck Taylor.

What's in a face?

When Babygirl was born, I told Babymamma, that now that we have a baby, and we'll be so busy, I think I'll forgo getting a haircut. I had grand dreams of pony tails and looking like a samurai or asian biker gang dude or something like that. Of course not even after 2 months, and probably going almost 3 months without a hair, the hairs got cut.

After another busy week, and more product in the hair due to it's length, the dilemma of how to fit in a haircut with my salon lady while working so much arose. Of course it doesn't help that salon lady also had a baby and only works 3 days a week.

So Babymamma suggested, "Why don't you just shave your head?" I looked at her, cocked my head upwards as I thought about this idea, and responded cooly, "OK, I'll shave my head."

4 years in college right before Valentine's day, I would buy whole pack or razors, and shave nearly every sq inch of my body. No this wasn't for my once a year S+M hot wax, chocolate sauce ritual with Babymamma, but more I was a swimmer, and our conference meet always landed on the wknd before Valentine's day. So my body has a memory of getting rid of hair every Feb, and since I've graduated I've probably shaved my head in Feb 3 times. People think it's drastic, but to me it's normal, and not a big deal. Of course it helps that I don't look bad as a bald headed guy, nor do I have an awkwardly shaped head.

Of course the next morning I was looking fwd to how Babygirl was going to react. When I went to pick her up from her crib in the AM, she just went through her normal routine and that was that. She didn't cry, "where's daddy!" or anything of the sorts. If anything she's come to patting my head now, or perhaps she thinks my head is a drum.

Which got me thinking, what is it about me that Babygirl recognizes. Since she's been born, I wear contacts when I go for a run or play ultimate, and she doesn't seem to mistake who I am without my glasses. She also doesn't seem to mind if my hair is down, I'm wearing my hat, my hoodie, or if I've buzzed off all my hair. Is it simply my facial structure and facial features? What does it take for a brain to remember a familiar face? Quite fascinating isn't it?

Well as the girls have gone off to the Midwest for a funeral, I'll be missing the girls the next 5 days, but I know that even after 5 days of no daddy time, Babygirl is going to remember her daddy, and there's nothing sweeter than that!

book binder?

If someone had asked me what fatherhood comprised of, I would most likely have answered them with the following possible answers:
-a gentle caring role model who is always there to protect their child
-someone who's fun but fair
-someone to help in the development of a child's personality, morality, character, values, etc.

Never would have I thought that it involved rinsing out cloth diapers, scheming ways to fattening up Babygirl, or letting her go to bed with my chapstick. I always knew that there would come a time when I would fix her bicycle, untie knots, fix broken zippers, crazy glue science fair projects together, but never would I have thought that I would venture into the world of book binder.

To be exact, I've yet to bind any books, but I do some magic work with clear packing tape, especially with babygirl's pop-up books. Sure pop-up books are visually stimulating and add depth to what's going on in a story book, but c'mon, babies like to grab, rip and tear.

I guess in reality fatherhood is comprised of many little things and perhaps a few very big things. I wonder when I'll get to start fixing things with duct tape?



Headshot for Spy Kids audition

Suck Day

Today is not Babydaddy's best day. He woke up late, and didn't get to hand out with Babygirl. He came home, and Babygirl was asleep. He was home for all of 10mins, before heading back out the door, to go his other job. Here I am waiting out a no show, boo!

I did get to see Babygirl in the highchair, but that was about it, and by the time I get home, Babygirl will have probably been asleep for 1.5 hrs.

I miss that little girl.

525,600

Last night and this morning I officially went to bed with the numbers 525,600 in my head, as in the number, as in the number of minutes in a year, or as they repeat over and over in Seasons of Love.

Babymamma and I have officially spent five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes with our babgirl, or 365 days.

About 75 of those minutes, occur when I go to pick up Babygirl from her crib in the mornings. Babygirl will either be yelling/crying or just letting us know that she's awake, and I'll typically go in and greet her. That first minute where we're saying goodmorning usually looks like this.

Babygirl is sitting in her crib with her pacifier still in her month, she'll have turned on her little crib music things, and when I see her, she'll usually let out some kind of excited grunt or noise. By the time I actually lean into her crib, she'll offer me "George", Curious George, whom I"ll take and give him a hug a kiss. I'll then give George back to her, which she'll snatch back up and give George a hug and a kiss as well. I'll then pick her up, remove her pacifier, and then we're on our way to morning rituals, and the beginings of yet another day for Babygirl.

The "Good Morning" routine, has yet to get old, and it's just one of the many repetitive minute(s) that I've enjoyed with Babygirl.

Oops

Does this blog still exist? Obviously I've lost track of it, but actually it's been on my mind. One day I vow to post, and then it doesn't happen. I say I'll post when I have more time, and then more "post-able" stories come into play, and so I need more time, time I don't have and so 4 months later the blog devoted to dads and Babygirl is nonexistent.

Well on the eve of Babygirl's 1st birthday, I vow to get back into blogging, although I've decided to post regularly, albeit less lengthy and substantial posts. I've set the standard to simple Twitter-esque posts.


I've been a dad for a year, and it's been lots of fun. There are many things that are still foreign to me, and I have not spend an entire day with Babygirl by myself in the last 9 months. It still puzzles me how Babymamma can do it day after day, and most importantly I am lucky and happy that Babygirl is under the care of my wife. A woman whom I always knew would/could be the mother of my child, and do a good job at it.

As a dad I've fell into very boring gender type roles of being a "breadwinning dad," I work so that Babygirl can stay at home with Babymamma. Yes over the last year, I've worked many more hours, gotten a lot less sleep, and drank a lot more caffeine, waking up each morning knowing that Babygirl is happy, thriving developmentally in a safe and nurturing environment makes the long days, and sleepless nights totally worth it.

I'm sure many dads and mom try to find the appropriate balance btwn work and time with baby, and I can't honestly say I've found the balancing point, but for now, it works. Of course I wish I could spend more time with Babygirl, of course I miss her during the day, and of course Babygirl does not get all of my undivided attention when I am not at work, but we're all trying, and it continues to be a work in progress.

I guess being a dad, the ideals of being a dad, and the challenges of being a dad are ever evolving. For now, this is how it is. Also as a dad, the sense of providing for a family only renews my own depleted energies to continue to give back to Babygirl and Babymamma. Thank you both, and Happy early Birthday little one.